


I Wanna Know

by Something_Dysfunctional



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: AND EREN IS A LITTLE SHIT, Alternate Universe - High School, Don't Judge Me, Eventual Smut, I may let Hanji roam free, LEVI IS AN ASSHOLE MORE THAN USUAL, M/M, Reincarnation, Romance, SO MUCH LANGUAGE, Slow Build, don't look at me I'm trash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2015-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-14 07:56:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 46,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2183892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Something_Dysfunctional/pseuds/Something_Dysfunctional
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Even if we aren't born in this world, I will find you in the next."</p>
<p>It's 2014 and Eren Jager is a sophmore in high school. Although after a small change of events-<br/>he knows something is up. Something is about to happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own these lovely boys nor the manga they derived from. Sadly.  
> First chapter is gonna be slow but I hope to keep them in character. Especially Levi. -__-;  
> Lord help me with these little shits.
> 
> Ha... ha ha ha ha... Jesus Crackerjacks, WTF AM I DOING?  
> I'm treading on thin, thin, THIN GROUND. Because this fandom SnK is my whole heart and soul, like Sailor Moon. It's a series I dare not tread but there's a urge to write Levi and Eren SO BADLY.  
> The title of the story is actually from a title song "I wanna know" from Kill la Kill. It fit the mood for me then and will during the story. I just hope you all will take me in... love me... and let me know (PLEASE) if this story sucks. I'll try to update as much as I can when school/work allows me too.  
> No beta.  
> ;^;

_**\-- A few weeks ago... --** _  
  
It had been raining that day I ran into him again.  
  
Cold, dark, and uninviting-  
  
The rain? Oh, no. I meant _him_.  
  
Well, both could actually go together... it seemed as if that this particular kind of weather always clashed with him. I remembered. I remember a lot things. They fade in and out sometimes, but I know I was there.  
  
You know- deja vu shit?  
  
When I crossed paths that fateful night in the rain, trying to head home with a head bent down covered in my green hoodie, it was this smell. The smell that pierced through the night like a beacon. Clean, soapy, with a hint of mint. All cool and calming. I remember jerking my head up so fast I thought I 'bout snapped it. My eyes landed on the short figure briskly walking with a large black umbrella overhead. The scent traveled with them. And that's when the flood gates opened. I went after him. Like a puppy finding its long-lost master.  
  
I followed.  
  
**_\-- Prior to meeting... --_ **  
  
  


 

 

 

The city of Trost is not too terribly big, but not too small either. Decent enough people, good growing economy, shitty schools because I personally don't like it. But, it helps to have friends to bear the brunt of excessive whining and groaning about how certain teachers "are nothing but grade A pains in my ass". I've lived here all my life, so, I pretty much grew up with everyone around the neighborhood. Right now, it's about... seven thirty in the morning and I'm trying to push in five extra minutes of sleep before I hear my mother call downstairs for me. I buried myself under the mountain of sheets and tried to recall the dream I had earlier. I was flying- pretty sure I was. And had a wicked cape too. So many trees... but I had to be fast. Faster than ever before I was caught (by whom? Or what?) and was trying to catch up with... him...

  
"EREN JAGER, I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU AREN'T DOWN BY THE TIME I'M DONE COUNTING TO 10, I'M SENDING MIKASA AFTER YOU." 

  
I flung myself out of the bed as inhumanly possible and scrambled. "Fine, fine! I'm hurrying, Mom! Just DON'T make her come up!"  
  
"1... 2... 3..."  
  
I screeched and shoved my legs into a pair of jeans, pulled my green hoodie over my sleep shirt and gathered all my stuff. "GIMME A SECOND!!!" Books, papers, stupid homework in there- AH! Ipod! NEED THAT. Shoes, shoes... WHERE THE FUCK are my SHOES?!  
  
"7... 8... 9..."  
  
I grabbed the toothpaste and brush from the bathroom and shoved them in my hoodie pockets all the while finding my shoes as I gracefully tripped over them.

  
  
"MMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMM-"  
  


 

The door flung open and there standing in the doorway with cool, pale blue slanted eyes, shaggy black hair and her uniform was my adoptive sister, pulling down the red scarf I gave to her on her eighth birthday from her mouth. "I've been sent up by the Inquisitor," came the slow threat. I gulped, frozen from my spot on the floor. Even though we were the same age, Mikasa always managed to one-up me while growing up. Was it her cold demeanor or patience for putting up with me that made her an formidable foe? Or the fact Mom babied her that Mikasa started following everything naturally when it came to punishing me? She stayed there, narrowing her eyes at my hurried state. "Really, Eren? You look like an ass right now," she muttered, walking towards me. "I was hurrying! I was almost done until I fell over these!," I wailed, holding up a lone Converse. She flickered her eyes towards the dirty shoe and wrinkled her nose some. "You need new ones. C'mon. Time to leave. And make it look like I got on to you. You're a terrible actor and liar, so hide your damn ears," she informed me, pulling the hood over my head. I nodded and grinned at her. "Ew, Eren. Morning breath." Mikasa may do what Mom tells her, but we're always together on everything. \-- After inhaling most of my breakfast in record time, we started our trek to Maria Rose High School for me. Mikasa went to The Sina Wall Academy instead of public school. Mainly the reason was the fact they had tae kwon do as an elective and she had been doing it since she was little. That was going to be her scholarship ride. Me? Well... to be truthfully honest, I really didn't have a special gift. I was pretty athletic, but nothing fancy. Brainy? Nope, naw, HELL NO, and just... no. I was average in that department. Armin Arlet, my best friend, was. I DID, however, enjoy art. Painting was a soft spot I had. As the morning sun warmed our shoulders and faces, I glanced at Mikasa, who stared straight ahead. "I wish you wouldn't wear that scarf all the time. It's weird," I pointed out, tugging on the fringe. She glared at me with a cutting look and smacked my hand away. "I'll do what I want with it," Mikasa bit back and started to walk faster. "People will think you're weird!," I sing-songed out to her. "They already know YOU are," she retorted.

 

"Well... fuck."

 

"Doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure that one out," came a snarky reply behind us. I bit back a groan and tried to keep up with Mikasa. "Oh, look... your stalker is here," I stage-whispered to her. I saw her cheeks twitch slightly as she hid her grin when the padding of shoes zoomed in on us. She loved the name calling to a certain extent. "You KNOW I can hear you!," the owner of the voice said accusingly. "Oh, shit- horses CAN hear a mile away!," I replied in mock-astonishment, grinning madly at my off-and-on again rival, Jean Kirchsten. He growled, flipping me off and halting next to Mikasa's other side. He was mooning hard over her, his hazel eyes glazed slightly and slight pink cheeks. "H-hey, Mikasa," he breathed. I made gagging noises while rolling my eyes as he rambled off to her. Jean has been hung up on my sister since we were all eight years old and playing in a sandbox practically. Ever since he had seen Mikasa stand up to the elementary school bully with nothing but a massive scary stare down and also could do gymnastics like a pro, he has followed her all the way through puberty. It was kinda sickening. But also like it was all so... I don't know... familiar. Nostalgic.

I mused on this until I felt a touch on my arm. I looked down at my sister who had stopped walking. "I'll see you after school," she muttered, fixing the red scarf back over her mouth. She cut her eyes to Jean, who straightened up and blushed even more darkly. "H-h-have a g-g-good day, Mi-Mi-Mikasa!," Jean half-yelled, half-whimpered. She continued to stare pointedly at him and then reached out and patted his shoulder. "Bye, Jean," she whispered and walked off towards the direction of her school. Jean and I stared after her, shocked and mouths opened. "How about that?," I mused to myself then smacked Jean upside the head. "Don't screw this up, Ponyboy." Jean punched me in the shoulder and we continued towards the high school, grumbling and shoving one another in the process. But all the while, he had this ridiculous smile on his face. "I need better company," I moaned and then instantly perked up at seeing a familiar mop of bright blonde hair. "ARMIN!," I yelled and made a bee-line for him. He perked up and turned, smiling. "Morning, Eren. Hey, Jean. You're actually on time this morning," Armin grinned. I wrapped a arm around his neck, pulling him down in a headlock while mussing his mop of hair. "This is a once in a life-time opportunity, my man. Don't get used to it!," I laughed at him and we struggled for dominance. Jean rolled his eyes and started making his way towards the entrance. "I'd be embarrassed to be seen in public with you two."

 

"WHY DO YOU STILL HANG OUT WITH US THEN?!"

"SCREW YOU, JAGER!"

"LOVE YOU, HORSEFACE!"

 

The bell started to ring and I unconsciously shoved Armin to the side, his hair sticking up like a bed of feathers and a pink face. "C'mon, dude! I don't want to get another tardy slip!" He picked up his bookbag, rubbing his neck. "Oh, to go on the massive, growing pile of the rest of them? Good luck." I didn't stick around to throw an insult. I dashed inside the prison towards my homeroom. I honestly don't know what I would be without Armin and Mikasa... they just manage to make things easier around here. I never really have a dull moment. But I couldn't shake this feeling, as I scooted down the now emptying hallway, with my footfalls echoing around me... that something- _SOMETHING_ \- was about to happen. And it made my heart swell with anticipation. Why did I wake up feeling like this? And the dream from this morning? A premonition of sorts? I made it to the door with at LEAST twenty seconds to spare. "MADE IT!," I cheered loudly as I rounded the corner. And was promptly ramming into something solid that collided with my face. I sprawled ungracefully backwards, my bag skittering to the side and a hurt cry. "What the hell!?," I wheezed, rubbing my tender nose.

"Oy, brat. Watch where you're going next time," came a cool, monotone voice that reverberated through me.

I felt my skin prickle at the sound and the next thing I knew, I was up in a flash and standing up straight, eyes forward. My body reacted normally to the sound of the man's timbre. I felt my gaze flicker down somewhat. Two twin pools of silver-blue stared at me with the most bored expression and all the air from my lungs  _whooshed_ out. "S-s-sorry, sir," I stammered, standing aside for him to pass. He walked past, hands shoved deep in his pockets, and his tongue clicked against the insides of his teeth in annoyance. "Tch. Whatever. Get in there before you're in trouble," he grounded out and walked down the hallway. I stared after his short frame with wonderment. The body shape wasn't bad... he wore a basic smoky gray blazer and pants with a black shirt and shiny, black pointed shoes. He exuded cleanliness and no shitting around. Swallowing the sudden lump in my throat, my heart tugged and my stomach swooped down, like how it does when going down a really high roller coaster. A hand made its way over my vision of that glorious ass walking away, waving up and down. "Earth to Eren... Eren, come back from staring at Mr. Short, Dark and Brooding~!," sing-sang a voice. I snapped out of my reverie, and glare some at Sasha Blouse, who was grinning from ear to ear. "Sit down! Roll call, bro!" She grabbed my arm and shoved me into the nearest seat. Homeroom was also my first period class, which was British Literature. Miss Petra Ral was probably the sweetest woman ever. She graced each of her students with smiles and was very caring towards us, like we were her own kids. She went down the roster, beaming even more of a bright smile towards me because I was actually ON time. I, however, was trying to gather exactly what went down before Sasha made me sit down. Just WHO exactly was that man? Was he a teacher? A visitor? And how in the HELL did he manage to make me stand up so fast, I could see stars almost with that voice? I must have been out of it because that familiar hand was back in front of my vision.

This time, a Poptart in it. "Eren... want some breakfast? Your blood sugar might be low. That's why you still have that moony face from seeing Mr. Short-Stuff," Sasha chuckled. I turned to her with a bland look. "Sash, I'm not mooning. And yes... yes, I will take that Poptart." She placed it in my hands and returned to facing the board, chewing on what looked like a biscuit with ham in the middle. Miss Petra didn't mind that she ate in class, claiming that we were all growing boys and girls. Sasha took to it like a blessing from God and always had her breakfast in first period. Sasha Blouse was probably the oldest friend I had out of Armin, Mikasa, and Jean. She was a plain, simple girl that loved anything that dealt with food and cooking. Her parents own a farm outside the town and is a wickedly good horseback rider. With mousy brown hair always in a ponytail and bright, large hazel eyes, Sasha easily made friends and was always laughing and eating unless having to deal with ugly confrontations. I smiled to myself while staring at the Poptart. She was also the first person I told about my feelings for the same-sex. Sasha simply stared at me, blinking those large eyes and sat back. We were in my room. We were both twelve and it was summertime. Mom had given us a large bowl of scooped out watermelon and Sprite to drink. She nibbled on a chunk, deep in thought. "Well... I don't see a problem with it. Love is love, ya know? If you're happy, that's all that matters right?" Til this day, her words still echo in my head. I blinked and sat up some, trying to focus on Miss Petra's voice and take note. I bit the end of the Poptart, the taste of cherry bursting on my tongue. "If you're happy, that's all that matters..." eh? -- I searched the whole school for the mystery man. I asked around. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. No one knew him and Miss Petra just said, "He was an old friend passing through." I never felt so discouraged.  
  
\----

 

"Stop moping."

Glare.

"I'm not."

"... your eyebrows are gonna stay in that position forever."

**_THWAP!_ **

"OUCH! Dammit, Eren! Watch where you throw shit!," moaned Jean, grabbing the throw pillow and rubbing his forehead. I sighed for the fiftieth time and lost another race match in Mario Kart. "It's been like... a week, dude. Lighten up. It was just a guy," Jean said airily, turning off the console. "Yeah, but it just  _felt_ like I knew him from somewhere. And it's bugging the hell out of me," I mumbled while laying back on the floor of Jean's room. "I can see that. You're over at my house. You're never over here," he bit at me while sitting at his computer desk. "That's because you have an obsession over my sister, creep." Jean flushed and whirled around in his chair, clicking away at his mouse. "Whatever, man. Least I'm not looking like a distraught school-girl over some guy." I rolled on my side. Eyes flickered to the window sadly. The sky was setting, the blues and pinks, oranges and yellows stretching out like watercolor against a canvas. My heart gave a pull, like a yearning. Something stilled around me and for moment, sitting here with Jean, it felt like I had done this before. "... you may still have a chance." I turned my head to look at the owner of the voice with a raised brow. "To find him. The city is small enough," Jean said quietly, his back to me as he played on his computer. I grinned some and sat up, scratching the back of my head. "Yeah... you're right. Sorry for whining to ya. It's just... I can't help but think I know him. Maybe." Jean grew silent, his clicking on the mouse halting some. I tossed a look over at him only to see him sitting still. "What? Like... some soul mate kind of thing?," he murmured out, resuming his playing. I blanched at him and grabbed a shirt that was on the floor and chucked it at his head.

 

"STOP THROWING SHIT AT ME!"

\--

 

That night, after a full dinner and dessert from mom, I sat on the couch with Mikasa while we watched "Jurassic Park" playing. I lazily rubbed my stomach and I felt easily content. Mikasa was doing her homework and watching the film at the same time. "Your multitasking is super. I wish I could do that," I pouted at her. She raised a perfect brow but kept her eyes trained on her book. "You actually could if you'd focus and have the motivation. When you do your art, though... I wish I could do what you can," she smiled softly. I laughed and snuggled further in the plush couch. "Nah, it's a pain. You get artist blocks, cramped hand muscles, strained brain damage, inhalation of fumes from oil and fixant... actually, I think I do need a fix right now. GET A GOOD OL' WHIFF OF THEM FUMES!," I shouted playfully while jumping up. Mikasa tugged me back down. "You're a idiot, honestly," she sighed and put her books down on the coffee table. "Watch the damn dinosaurs, five year old." I grinned at her and went back to watching T-Rex pushing its head down into the car as the kids held up the plexiglass to stall it. But my distraction-attention-span last briefly as my mind went straight to the guy earlier today once more. I HATED not knowing who he was. Plus, he was really, really... REALLY hot. Angry-looking, but hot nonetheless. I focused my attention forcefully to the movie, palms sweating slightly. I rubbed them against my thighs and shifted more into the cushions. But all the while, this NAGGING at the back of my head kept going, "I KNOW who he is... but from where?"

 

I really did hope that I would see him again.  
\--  
  
  


 

 

 

*rolls on ground in agony*  
Review nicely... please...


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I think I'm getting a ball rolling with this...

\--

The next couple of days seemed to fall back into the regular routine. I never did see the guy at all. I would run to homeroom earlier than usual to see if he was there talking to Ms. Petra. Nothing, nadda, zip. Sasha was a great source of comfort. It helped too that she kept stacking sweets on my desk for me. I didn't tell Mikasa about him (for fear of either telling Mom or hounding me and doing bodily harm) and Jean was a little less annoying towards me. I decided to talk to the one sensible friend that would put my mind at ease. Around lunch time on a Tuesday, four days since the incident, I sat at the usual table with my tray laying haphazardly away from me. The congealing ravioli and soggy green beans with a buttered, greasy roll and fruit cup sat on the tray cooling off as I stared ahead. I felt a chair shift beside me after a moment. "Eren- you okay?," came the quiet, steady voice of Armin. I nodded and turned to look at him. "Yeah. I just... really need to talk to someone about something. It's been kinda weird," I sighed, rubbing my face. It felt old and strained for just a guy of fifteen. "Okay, I'm here now. Talk to me," he urged kindly, all of his blue-eyed focus on me. I bit my bottom lip, drew a deep breath and leaned forward some. "Couple of days ago, I ran into someone here at the school. Like legit ran INTO them. I can't really explain it fully. It's hard. The way he looked, spoke... I can't get it out of my mind. It's almost like a burning imprint. Some random guy has made me want to pull out all my hair in frustration-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Eren, calm down! Your voice is starting to get louder!," Armin hissed, tugging on my sleeve.

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, I'll chill. I digress though... he just... I feel though as if I've known him or DID at one point," I ended softly. Armin was silent until he spoke up again. He ran a hand through his blonde hair and had a slight confused look on his face. "Well, Eren, he may had been someone you met when younger and you just can't remember-"

I shook my head hard. "No. It's not like that. It felt like he was someone very, very important to me."

"What do you mean about that?"

"... d-do you remember when I was younger and had those really bad dreams at night?"

Armin's face tightened slightly but fell back into a neutral mask as he took a sip from his Coke can. "I do. Those slumber parties were a bit scary but we stuck around for you, Eren. Don't tell me they've started up again. Your mom took you to a lot of therapy sessions." I swallowed thickly, playing with the end of my sleeve. "I know. But... they've started back up. In tiny fragments. You, Mikasa, Jean... everyone was in them. Now is this guy. He was leading us, Armin. We knew him. _I KNEW HIM_ ," I stressed with wide eyes. Armin raised a brow at those words. "Ooorrr you're obsessed with this guy? A little too much?" I groaned loudly and scrubbed at my face urgently at the frustration welling up inside of me. I was ready to explode. Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder and I stopped my motions. Large, sky-blue eyes stared at me fringed with bristled lashes. I looked back into the tiny, heart-shaped face with that stupid blonde, shoulder length hair he's had ever since he was like... five. His face was concerned but I could tell through the veil in his big orbs, there was another story. He knew about my dreams more than anyone. He knew how they affected me. Armin was the only one to relax me after them when I was little, better than the therapist. "Eren. Breathe. Relax. You know how you get when you're upset. You loose your temper really easily," he breathed lightly as he pulled back.

I nodded a bit and eased my shoulders and hands down, turning my attention to the surface of the lunch table. Our time was almost up and I felt like I hadn't gotten anywhere. "But I believe you." I have never whipped my head up so fast ever nor smiled as hard hearing my best friend say those words. "Armin...!" He stood up, gathering his things, and slung his book bag over his shoulder. "I've always believed you, even in those stupid dreams you had. I don't know why I do but I do." He sighed and musses his hair that gives him the appearance of a fluffed out owl. "Write the dreams down if they keep happening and let me read them. Maybe I can figure out something from them. As for your "man-friend", see if you can't AT LEAST get his name from Ms. Ral and then we'll turn to the blessed internet to stalk him," Armin dead-panned at me. I whooped loudly and hugged him around the middle, causing most of the students to look over at us mid-lunch.

"GET OFF OF ME!"

"THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU ARMIN!!! YOU'RE THE MOST WONDERFUL THING EVER!!!"

"I am AWARE- STOP CRYING IN MY SHIRT, DAMMIT!"

I clung on tighter and wiped my happy tears into the fabric while grinning madly. Now we were getting somewhere.

\--

 

The rest of the day went by like a breeze. Practically begging with the best puppy-eyed expression for my homeroom teacher, Ms. Ral finally snapped and told me she would speak with me tomorrow about her friend. I walked home with Mikasa with a skip in my step, taking in the scenery of the now setting sun. I waited for her at the Academy during her tae kwon doe practice and got to catch up a little with an old childhood friend. Her name was Annie Leonheart and one of those anti-social people. She and Mikasa were always rivals in everything growing up and a few times she managed to get the upper hand in sports. While I talked mostly, she did acknowledge she was paying attention with a few head nods and "hmm's" of affirmation. But I managed to make her smile a little, which I take it as a great compliment. Now that Mikasa was done and we made the trek home, I watched the sun set and for a second, my heart gave a mighty lunge and I was taken back.

The air whooshed slowly out of my lungs as the golden lights touched everything around us. The tree tops glistened, shadows cast along the streets and sides of houses. The grass was bright yellow-green. A few birds flew across the pink and orange streaked sky and my world stopped like a slow motion picture. I halted on the sidewalk so suddenly Mikasa walked on until realizing I wasn't beside her. "Eren? What's wrong? Are you okay?," she asked, turning around, both hands holding her book bag straps. I stared after her with straining eyes because I felt like I had SEEN this- no... DONE this before. And looking at my sister with her red scarf around her neck, holding onto those straps, and staring at me with mild curiosity but sincere eyes. My heart began a rapid pace and I felt blood roaring in my ears thickly.

"Mi-Mikasa...," I stammered with a croaked voice. She tilted her head some and her brows furrowed.  
  


The thing was- _**I REMEMBER DOING THIS.** _  
If not now... maybe... some other time...  
 ** _I REMEMBERED DOING THIS._ **  
Before IT happened-

 

She made a step towards me and that's when I saw the car. It was sleek, expensive-looking, and shinny. It 'bout broke me out of my golden-soaked world. I know I must have looked crazy eying the vehicle. But the window was down on the driver's side and it gave me the opportunity to see who it was. I nearly swallowed my tongue when I saw it was the man I had been looking for days. He had stopped the car and his silver-blue eyes pierced my eyes deeply with those shadows lining them.

 

"Oy."

 

That was the voice. The voice that had been plaguing my dreams at night, telling me to push on further and to trust in him. And the burning intensity of how he looked at me through my haze. We were a pair... of something... and the voice in front of me, in the classy new-age Porsche was staring at me with with a fine raised brow. "Are you kids okay? He looks like he's ready to shit his pants," he jerked his thumbs backwards to me while shifting his eyes to Mikasa. She bristled and stalked towards me like an angry lioness. She jerked my arm back, pulling me out of my stupor. "He won't. We're fine. Thank you, Mister," she said icily and stomped off with me in tow. I panted some while turning my head to glance back at the man. He was pulling away already, but I saw him look back in the side mirror briefly. My heart felt like a jack hammer. Instantly, my eyes went to his licence plate. If there was one thing I was blessed with was a great memory. I memorized it. I HAD to know who he was.  
  
\--  
  
  
 _"EREN JAGER, YOU ARE NOT A WILD STAMPEDE! QUIT RUNNING THROUGH THE HOUSE!,"_ my mother screeched at me as I peeled up the stairs.  
  
I faintly heard Mikasa speaking to her, saying that it must have been a puberty thing I needed to take care of and I nearly died on the second to last step to my room. Embarrassed, I vowed to plot revenge after looking up the license plate number online. If I couldn't find, there was ONE other person who could... Computer-wise, I learned everything I could from her from online forums and personal private chats. How did I know it was a she? Well... the person felt more comfortable with the term so it naturally went from there. I didn't mind it. She was smart- I couldn't deny that. Albeit VERY weird and random, but nice. I flung my stuff to the side and picked up my laptop from the desk. I sat down heavily on the edge of my bed and woke up my baby. Once it started booting up and I was online, I checked the usual spot where my "mentor" to see if she was online. Sure enough- I saw her screen name "PsychoLeader" and asked to speak to her in a private room. She immediately responded with an all caps, "YES!!!" I couldn't help but grin at the word. I started typing right away;  
  
  
 **104Soldier:** I have a request to make.  
  
 **PsychoLeader:** Anything for you, dearest!  
  
 **104Soldier:** It's a license plate number. Think you can do anything with it?  
  
 **PsychoLeader:** pppffffttt... am I not THAT amazing? Lemme have it!  
  
  
I clacked the numbers to her and hit the "Enter" button. I waited impatiently, gnawing on my bottom lip with worry. A few moments later, all she typed was "......"  
Huh. I guess I must have stumped her?  
  
  
 **104Solider:** Everything ok?  
  
 **PsychoLeader:** Huh what? oh yea yea everything is fine... listen, about this info you gave me i need to see you in person to talk about it. You live in the Trost area right?  
  
 **104Solider:** Yeah, but what's wrong? why in person?  
  
 **PsychoLeader:** just trust me, dear. you'll want to. is 2 on Saturday good for you? at the Maria Cafe?  
  
 **104Soldier:** I'm sure I can do it but how will I know you when I see you?  
  
 **PsychoLeader:** OOOOOOOOOOoooooohhhh trust me. You'll know. ;)  
  
\--  
  
  
My mother scooped a 3rd helping of lasagna on my plate for me. I ate with a hunger I didn't know I was capable of. Mikasa stared on with a slight bemused expression. "Baby Boy is starving tonight," she smirked. I turned to my sister with an open mouth of pasta, tomato sauce and various vegetables and chewed slowly with the appearance of a dairy cow. "Eren, really?!," my mom groaned out, smacking me behind my head. "I can't help it- I'm a growing boy!" Pursing her lips but trying not to laugh, Carla Jager continued her dinner and her conversation with Mikasa. I swallowed my food and stared at my mom for a little bit. She was my entire world, really. Ever since Dad had up and left us when we were little, she took the whole world on her shoulders and pressed onward without a sad frown on her face nor tears at night. Worked her ass off at the hospital as a rad tech. Sure, we didn't get to see her a lot, but we knew that she was supporting herself and her two kids alone. If anything, Carla was someone not to mess with but also you wanted to be her best friend too. She accepted Mikasa into the family when her mother and father were killed in a car accident without any qualms and loved her endlessly. She also knew about me being gay and was completely fine with it. She still wants grand kids. I shook my head out of my day dream and finished up my meal. "That was really good. Thanks, mom."

"Anytime, baby. Do you want dessert too?"

"Ah, in a little while. I'm gonna go take a shower first." Carla smiled and stood up with her plate, kissing the top of my head in the process. "Okay, bud." She walked into the kitchen and I leaned back in my seat, sighing and closing my eyes. I felt a tug on my sleeve. I made a "Hmm" sound to let Mikasa know I was listening to her. "What was wrong with you earlier? You looked like you had seen a ghost," came the soft statement. My stomach clenched a little. "It's... just that... I felt like I had been there before. Or seen that happen. Ya know- de ja vu stuff," I mumbled. "But, Eren it seriously looked like you were ready to vomit. What triggered it?" I didn't say anything for a minute until I heard her stand up, the chair scratching against the wood floor. I opened my eyes to see her staring stonily at the table while picking up her plate. "Mikasa?," I asked. She said nothing but pressed her lips in a thin line. "Eren... do you know how long we were in therapy?" I groaned and rubbed my face, pushing back my shaggy hair. "See, this- _THIS_ is why I didn't want to say anything! You all INSTANTLY go back there! Why?!! So I had a case of de ja vu! It's not like I committed a crime or anything!"

Hot, dull blue eyes bore straight into me. "Ever since those dreams and de ja vu scares, we have to be careful. Your temper is something I can't even hold back. Remember when you fell into a spell and nearly socked Jean to death? Still surprised he even talks to you til this day...," she mumbled but then turned back to me with a sudden fierceness. "If this stuff happens, _you NEED to let me or Mom know_." I sighed angrily and stood up from the table, walking towards the stairs. "I don't even want dessert now. Night," I grumbled, hands deep in my jean pockets. "Wait, Eren!," she called but I ignored her and slammed my bedroom door shut. I slunk over to my window seat and flopped down on it, cradling my chin in my hands.

So I have a bit of temper- so what? Everyone does. But... according to everyone else, I shut down and don't remember anything. I don't even remember hurting Jean... I curled up into a ball and suppressed a mighty shiver that wracked through me. I shouldn't be feeling like this... Saturday was the day that I was going to meet up with PsychoLeader to find my guy! I needed to be happy! But the dreams were somehow coming back and holding me down. I mused, remembering that they had stopped after I turned nine. I pressed through my memories. How DID I exactly stop them...? Usually, they were full of trees and flying, being chased by large creatures with twisted features and gaping mouths full of teeth. Human teeth... I was trying to get away from them, but also remembering how ANGRY and bitter I was toward them. I had a mission.

_'I'll kill them... I'll kill every last one of them!!!'_

_'... then you'll do fine.'_

I blinked suddenly. Tears had formed in my eyes. This wasn't the first time it had happened. I sighed longfully, softly wiping them away and burrowed my head back into my arms. Whoever this guy was- I missed him. Greatly. And it hurt. I eased my mind and heart in a lull to help me sleep. I drifted off soon, remembering how all the dreams started...  
\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sweats nervously*  
> I'm trying to do this now between work to upload either every Sunday or every OTHER Sunday since that's the only day off from my work they give me. >_>  
> If you feel the need to give some input or ideas, I'll be glad to listen and take in the info!   
> But if you can, just BEAR with me and MORE will come! ALL THE DRAMA, ROMANCE, SHITTY GLASSES, BABY BOY EREN BEING ALL ANGSTY AND ADORABLE AND AGGRESSIVE!IN BED LEVI! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prepare for Little Eren and his cuteness. 
> 
> And Levi being an ass.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not uploading this past Sunday. I'M A BAD GIRL I'M SORRY.  
> D:  
> I went ahead to upload this chapter because I will be at Anime Weekend Atlanta on Friday and a wedding Saturday AND THEN work Sunday. So, enjoy some little memories with Eren while I'm gone.

_He stood in the doorway to his mother's room, sniffling and attempting to wipe his soiled nose with his shirt sleeves. "Mama...!," he cried pitifully. Carla jerked away from her pillow, half asleep as her maternal side went on instinct towards the crying sound of her boy. "Eren... Eren, baby, what's wrong?," she asked thickly, stumbling a little towards him with the sheets trailing behind her. "I had 'nother bad dream!," he cough-hiccuped, reaching for her. Carla picked him up as if he weighed nothing. She hummed against his tiny head and smoothed back his fly-away brown hair. "Oooh, another bad one? Is it the same from before?," she asked softly, crawling back into her bed with her son in tow._

 

_"Uh-huh... I was tryin' to fly away but they kept chasin' me."_

_"The big monsters again?"_

 

_Eren suppressed a shudder against his mother's shoulder, his leaking eyes shutting tightly to try and forget the images of the large humanoids that plagued his dreams nightly. At seven years old, he often told himself there was no need to go running into his mother's arms, but lately... they were getting more gory. Carla rubbed his back in a soothing motion. "What else happened?," she pressed. She felt him swallow thickly and his arms around her neck tightening. "... I... I... I saw them eat people... a lot of people. Lots of blood. Screams..." Carla pulled him back, cradling his cherub face that was streaked with salty tears from the light shinning from the post outside her window. She narrowed her hazel eyes some with a small frown. "Blood? Have you been watching bad movies behind my back?" Eren shook his head with large eyes. "No, Mama, I swear!!! It's my dreams! You don't believe me?!!," he started to squall openly. His face was slowly growing red with each sob._

 

_Carla pushed him against her again. She didn't know what to believe. For the past two months, he was constantly coming into her bed or Mikasa's. Whenever Eren stayed at Armin and his grandfather's house, he's frighten the poor young boy with his screams but somehow managed to wake him up. Carla sighed and massaged his little temples some with a soft smile on her tired face. "Oh, baby... it's just a phase. I promise. You know nothing will happen to you as long as I'm here." A choked cry and more sniffling with a mumble. "Hmm? What did you say, love-bug?" Bright eyes of Caribbean blue stared straight into her own and for a moment... Carla felt a slight stirring (like a fuzzy, faint memory) and her stomach lurched at the words that fell from his mouth. "B-but... but... in m-m-my dream... you died. You were EATEN."_

 

 

**\--**

 

_Half a year went by and Carla put her foot down. There was no going around it anymore- Eren "had" to get professional help. The sleep aids, warm milk and hot baths to ease her son were not helping. When she brought him to his first session, Eren didn't know exactly that he was being taken to a psychiatrist. He had toys to play with a funny lady talking to him gently about his dreams. She never pushed, just allowed him to talk. Eren liked her immensely. At the mention of the large "giants", the woman asked Eren, pretty please, if he could draw them out for her the best he could and anything that stood out to him. With multiple crayons in his hands, Eren scribbled away._

 

_The woman picked up the papers, would shift through them, and stare at the little boy with his wild brown hair, large opalescent eyes and beaming grins he would give her daily. Each day, the pictures were the same AND different. The woman explained to Carla whatever Eren was experiencing was either due to whatever he was seeing or reading OR had a hyper- active imagination._

 

_"However-"_

 

_The woman trailed off, shifting on her feet. Both women were standing out in the hallway so Eren did not have to hear the conversation. "What? However what, Doctor?!" Hooded eyes appraised the mother in front of them. "Have you taken into consideration... and this is JUST a hypothesis... that maybe Eren is experiencing these dreams because they have already happened to him before?" Carla started, her mouth opening in shock. "I-I have... what? That makes no sense!," she hissed. The female doctor sighed some, rubbing the bridge of her nose and then brushed back her hair, staring up at the ceiling with her hands on her head. "Children. Very young ones... tend to be more sensitive with oddities. For example, I had a child that swore to me she could see ghosts. They are prone to-" the doctor made quotation marks in the air- "see" things that we can't. That's normally due to them either having a tragic moment in their life or almost being close to death themselves. Eren believes he was this soldier who slayed human-eating giants to protect people. He was very adamant about that part," the doctor finished quietly._

_She looked away from Carla. "Are you saying he needs help?," Carla stressed, feeling a huge headache crawl up from the base of her skull. The doctors glasses flashed in the light as she sized up the woman. "What I'm saying is that he needs to someone to believe him. That's it," she finished firmly. "But, for your sake and your daughter's, I will prescribe melatonin. Give him 3mg of them or less after dinner. Make sure his days are HEAVILY active so he may fall asleep hard at night. Exercise or even after school sports. Distract him. Also, if you are into suppressing his dreams, might I suggest nightly telling him that the nightmares don't exist? That everyone he loves is there, not going anywhere? Simple psychosis of the mind acting with the melatonin will probably ease him into a full night of sleep," the doctor stated, walking back into the room where Eren was building a ship out of Legos. Carla stared after the woman who whooped excitedly over his ship and ruffled his hair._

 

_"Doctor!,"she called out. The woman stood with slight pursed lips._

_"Yes?"_

_"... how do you know so much about this? You're only-"_   
  
_"19? Yeah. I get that a lot. Guess I was too smart for my own good growing up."_

**\--**

 

I shifted from the window seat, blinking slowly. I fell asleep sitting on it again... I groaned while sitting up. Bones popped and muscles shifted, strained back into place. Yeah... mom did a pretty good job with helping me with my dreams. They were kept on the back burner for so long I didn't believed that they never happened. Until the week before The Man graced me with his presence. I remembered seeing him in my dreams. Always prodding at me with cold, gray eyes and a constant frown. At first it was blurry, I couldn't see the features. But once I ran into The Man, the face turned to his and my heart would jump. I sighed and stood up, shuffling to my bed. It was one thirty in the morning. School started in seven hours. "Eren needs more sleep," I mumbled stupidly as I shucked out of my jeans and hoodie. Climbing into my bed, I wrapped myself up like a burrito and welcomed the darkness for once, my thoughts on silver eyes.

 

**\--**   
**The following day...**   
**\--**

 

I yawned largely while pulling my brush upward on the canvas. I felt a smack behind my head like a "pop!" and with a turn of my head, I glared at my friend Connie Springer. But I couldn't stay mad- he had stuck two paint brushes up his nose and made a sound like a dying walrus at me. I howled at him. Connie, from the day I met him in fifth grade, had ALWAYS tried to make people laugh. With his shaved head, dark skin, and loud obnoxious voice, you really couldn't miss him. Plus, he was excellent in track and field. Sasha was always by his side since we were all little. _'Our little odd duo,'_ I thought to myself after wiping my eyes from laughing so hard. "I finally got you to stop yawning. You getting any sleep, man?," Connie asked, wrinkling his nose full of brush. "... a little. Just one of those spells, ya know?," I offered, turning back to my easel. "Not to sound like a stalker, but might I point something out?," he asked by my shoulder. "You've been painting the same things over and over here lately. I mean, it's awesome! But are you in a rut?" I shrugged.

 

"Maybe. If I do enough of it, maybe I can get it out of my system," I sighed. He hummed and we both stared at what I made. The canvas had a blue sky stretched out with wispy clouds. Towards the bottom, stood someone with their back to the viewer on what appeared to be a stone wall. They wore a emerald green cloak with a pair of white and blue wings over-lapping each other. The sky had many shades of blue, cerulean, navy and turquoise. It was a sense of nostalgia. I was awfully proud of it. I leaned further on my stool, wiping my hand across my forehead as I stared at it deeply.

 

I was so engrossed with it that I failed to noticed the talking behind me. Then, I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Oh, my Eren! This is beautiful!," came the voice of Ms. Petra. I started, jumping slightly. "Oh! Wow... hey, Ms. Petra! You scared me... what are you doing here?," I asked her. She smiled cutely, her hazel eyes twinkling. "I was passing out some paperwork from the principal and wanted to come in and see the work all of you have done. I'm a sucker for art even though I can't draw a stick figure," she laughed. I beamed at her largely. "Well look away!," I grinned. She leaned forward some, studying my painting. "Whoa. This is stunning," my teacher breathed with large eyes. I blushed some while ducking my head down a little. "Naw. This isn't anything special."

 

"Hn. I've seen better," came a fixed bored voice.

 

Blinking fast, I whirled around at the sound to see The Man standing beside Ms. Petra with the facial expression that matched his tone and prominent shadows under his sharp eyes. I swallowed thickly, my blush deepening. But he insulted my work! I narrowed my eyes the best I could while trying to tame my racing heart and anger. "Well, no one asked for your opinion," I snapped. He raised a thin eyebrow at me. "And I don't care for your attitude, brat," he bit back. "Don't you have an adult job or something? Why are you creeping in a high school?," I retorted with my back to him now. "You got a snappy mouth and a shit personality." "Now, Levi, PLEASE. You're at a school! Watch the mouth!," Ms. Petra hissed frantically. I heard a heavy sigh from The Man as she continued to scold him.

 

I rolled my eyes and picked up my brush once more, dipping it in the black paint container. I streaked it along the surface to make depth and shadow effects. My blood was rushing in my ears loudly from the audacity that asshole had. Then, I felt a warm breath flutter along my ear. Immediately, my back straightened and I stopped with my brush hovering. "I've seen better... but it's half-way decent for a kid," came the soft voice. My neck flared with heat. Slowly, I turned my head some to see The Man looking ahead, not too far from my face. "Th-thank you, I guess...?," I croaked, inwardly cringing at how I sounded. His blue-gray eyes shifted over to me and the corners of his mouth twitched a little. They stared some at me then flickered up.

 

"You got paint on your forehead, brat."

 

I looked away and vigorously scrubbed at it, cussing under my breath. I heard The Man chuckle and he moved away with my homeroom and English teacher out of the classroom. Shyly, I raised my gaze to study him. His hands were in his pant pockets and his attention on her. My eyes trained on his broad back and then found their way trailing down. Today he was wearing a black long- sleeved shirt with dark charcoal slacks and leather boots. I was fascinated with the undercut of his ink, short black hair and how pale his skin was. I sighed and dropped my hand. "Damn," I muttered. I felt my thigh vibrate suddenly. I took out my phone, seeing that I had a message from PsychoLeader. Curious, I opened it up, her text reminding me of our meeting tomorrow. I replied eagerly and placed my phone back my pocket. I faintly traced my ear where The Man's breath had tickled it. My cheeks heated up again and I furiously went back into my work.

 

\--

 

"Ssssoooo... a little birdy told me that short, dark, and mean visited you today~!," sang Sasha to me while walking down the hall to our last class, which was history. I made a slight choking noise and looked down at her with a shocked expression. "Did that birdy happen to have a skinned-head and a big mouth?," I questioned her. She grinned and dug around in a bag of mixed candies. "Maybe! I think it's awfully sweet to have a crush." I groaned, smacking my face. "I'm gonna kill him..." Sasha made sound of triumph in finding a strawberry-flavored Laffy Taffy. "If you do that, your entertainment would cease to exist. I wonder why he was here," she said aloud in thought while wrestling with the wrapper. "Dunno. He and Ms. Petra know each other. Old friends or something? Maybe he's new in town?," I asked as we stopped by my locker. Sasha leaned against one while chewing slowly. Her brown eyes were trained away from me.

 

"Possibly. But I like that you're interested in him. Even if he is older. Connie said you were staring at his ass  _rather_ intently," she grinned around a mouthful of candy. I groaned and proceeded to hide my torso into the small space in front of me. "Dammit, I'm REALLY going to kill him now," my voice echoed as I lamented. Sasha laughed brightly and patted my back. "It's healthy to have your attention elsewhere! Oh, I wanted to see if you are coming over Saturday. A lot of us are gonna hit up that new Arcade downtown." "I'll be busy." "Oh?" "I'm meeting up with an online friend for some information. It's not that guy I'm meeting up, I promise." "You'd tell me first. Or Armin who would then tell me-" I closed my locker, glaring at her slightly. "Sash. Don't, man. If I get done early, I'll just shoot you a text." The girl nodded and swallowed her treat. "We need to hurry on. Zacharias will kill us if we're tardy- AGAIN."

 

We made our way down the hall and into the classroom. Jean, Connie, and our other friend Marco Bott were in a small group chatting and laughing about something. I sat down, slinging my bookbag to the ground. My phone came to life again in my hand. Looking down, I saw that it was once more PsychoLeader.

 

_'Oh, just out of curiosity, the person you had me look up, have you seen him at all?'_

 

I raised an eyebrow, thumb hovering over my buttons. What do I tell her?

 

_'I did, but briefly in the car window. Why?'_   
  
_'Can you describe him to me. DON'T SPARE DETAILS.'_

_'Uhm... dark hair, light eyes. Looked pissy.'_

 

I didn't hear back from her because I didn't get a chance to. When the teacher came in, we all assembled into our desks and opened up books, binders, and bags, gearing up for another thrilling afternoon of old history. I kept going in and out of the lesson. My brain decided to go to La-La Land where the short man filled it. I began to doodle a little on my notebook paper. The guy's eyes were so intense but also tired. Like he had seen so much in his life and there was a back story to it. I vaguely recalled them with long lashes. High cheekbones that looked soft to touch. A long but prominent nose and smooth forehead. His hair had been parted straight down the middle, the color of a raven's wing. I sighed some to myself, closing my eyes and the next thing I knew, I was falling asleep in class.  
\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S.- I PROMISE YOU WILL RECEIVE SMUT.  
> I like to boost suspense and such. I'm a tease. Haha... HA.  
> MY NAME IS HANJI AND I DO WHAT I WANT.  
> *runs away in a fit, tossing cookies*


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has a lot of Hanji in it BUT WHO DOESN'T LIKE WRITING FOR HER?!!  
> Plus, don't hate me for what will happen next.  
> It will be worth it.

Saturday came dull, gray and wet. I scowled under heavy brows and shoveled spoonfuls of Lucky Charms in my mouth. Mom had already left for work at 4am, leaving me alone at the kitchen table. I agreed with PsychoLeader to meet her in town around two but this weather was making me miserable. Swallowing the rest of the milk in the bowl I stood, pushing the chair back, and stomping to the sink. The droplets on the window seem to be mocking me. My sleep pattern was off from last night. No nightmares, surprisingly, just... FRUSTRATION. I stared down at the bowl in the sink and flushed a little. All I could remember was intense eyes of ice and burning fingertips. My lower stomach twitched with warmth and I let out a groan, clamping my hands over my face. "Get it together, Jager," I mumbled. My back pocket vibrated, the cheery sound breaking me from my thoughts, and I grabbed it out. It was Sasha. The text read;

 

"Good luck w/today! lemme know what goes on!!! (/ > 3 <)/"

 

She always made me smile. I pocketed my phone and decided a walk was needed to fully wake me up. I put on my dark green hoodie, put in my headphones with my iPod in the pocket, and grabbed the house keys out of the large white ceramic bowl on the kitchen island. "Mikasa- I'm gone!," I yelled at her. The only response I got back was, "Don't take candy from strangers," in a creepy tone. I flipped her off despite the lack of vision she would see from her room. "I saw that." "You aren't even down here!" A chuckle. "I felt it from my room. Have fun and text me later. Love you, Nerd." Rolling my eyes, I left the house and with my bike in tow, rode into town with Imagine Dragons singing in my ears.  
\--

 

Cafe Maria is small and cozy. It was an old brick building that was a happy color on the outside with a dark blue awning around the entrance way. Once you're inside passed the white-wash front door with a bell to let the service know you are inside, the atmosphere is calming and just as cheery and golden. The flooring is about as old as when the place was built- a mixture of dark cherry wood, oak, pine, and walnut. The gold and brown hues complimented the sandy-cream colored walls with dark scarlet curtains on the large windows. Every appliance of coffee making was black and silver and in pristine condition. Not to mention the cakes, cookies, scones, and every other simple dessert you could think of was better than anything in the world. I usually would get a big cup of Chicory coffee with a large buttery biscotti. Plus, the music they played was acoustic and sometimes classical which never bugged me. I liked the chilled and relaxed atmosphere.

 

Once inside, the bell jingling happily above me, I inhaled the coffee bean smell and sighed with closed eyes. Perfection. "Hey, Eren! Welcome back!," called out a soft but excited voice. I opened my eyes and saw Bertholt Hoover standing behind the counter with a large smile. He graduated two years before me, but we used to do soccer together growing up and our dads had been best friends. So, the usual hanging out on the weekends before everything got awkward stage filtered through happened and Bert and I were good old buddy pals. "Hey, man, how's the business?," I countered as I slid up towards the counter. "Really good. The weekends are starting to get busy. We may need you more often now." I nodded as he worked behind the espresso machine, his tall frame moving flawlessly. Oh yeah... I work here too as part-time.

 

It was a good place to meet up with PsychoLeader too because it was in a open place and if I needed reinforcements, Bert was here. My eyes scanned the open area of low, plum-colored couches and the few tables we had. There were a few people in here, quietly keeping to themselves. As Bert handed me my drink, I took a slow sip of the coffee when my eyes came and landed on one of them, striking me with a sense of curiosity. She was sitting by the window with her back to it, a white Mac Book in front and clacking at a good steady pace. Messy chestnut hair was pulled up in a makeshift ponytail with three pens stuck in it. Glasses perched precariously on the tip of her slight broad nose and a Sharpie was in her mouth. Her eyes were narrowed in concentration, the color like chocolate. Face was sharp, angled cheekbones but a sweetness to it. A face that looked awfully familiar, wrapped in a large flannel red shirt, baggy jeans with holes in the knees, and dirty combat boots... Her eyes flickered up some and caught my gaze. The pen fell from her mouth and her fingers halted over the keyboard. Eyes widened like saucers and my mind finally clicked at that facial expression. "Doctor Zoe?!!," I breathed loudly. "... 104Soldier?," she asked in a hushed voice. I nodded dumbly.

 

"You're... 104Soldier... Little Eren Jager...," she trailed off. Then, suddenly, she tossed her head back and let out a wild cry of laughter that made everyone in the cafe jump and look at us like we were crazy. "HOLY FREAKIN' SHIT THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!!!" I stood there in shock like a deer caught in the headlights. All the memories from my childhood came rushing back at the sound of her laugh and bright face. The kind, young doctor with a soft voice and gentle smiles that encouraged me to speak of my dreams to her and all the drawings I drew was standing before me with wide open arms. The next thing I knew, she had swooped me up in them, hugging tightly. "You magnificent creature, you!," she singed while twisting me around. "H-hey now! Let me go!," I gasped, trying to wiggle myself from her iron-clad grip. Surprisingly, my coffee cup was not thrown around. "How can I when we have finally found each other?! And after ALL these YEARS?!," the crazy woman giggled.

 

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. "Doctor Zoe-" "Hanji, please, Eren! Sit, sit, sit, sit~! We have much to discuss!" And so with mighty " _flomp!_ ", she had perched me in a chair in front of her and she scrambled to her own, eyes gleaming behind those large glasses of hers. "Now, my darling boy... 104Soldier has been chatting with me about computer information and now, a man of his dreams," Hanji chuckled, shaking her head. I was surprised the pens didn't fall from her hair. "Doctor... I mean, Hanji... this is really, really,  _really_ weird. Like very "Twilight Zone"," I said slowly. "Isn't it? Personally, I like to call it Fate, Eren. Like we were destined to meet again. I'm really happy though that it is you. Shocked and thrilled. I've missed my little sessions with you when you were tiny," she mused, her face softening as well as her exuberance. I stared at her. "... why?," I breathed. Hanji cocked an eyebrow at me and sat back in her seat, crossing her arms over her chest. "You were a unique child. Your dreams were very vibrant. Lively. You do know that I believed you, right? Every single dream." My chest twisted some, a look crossing over my face of pain. Hanji frowned slightly. "Don't make that look," she scolded, picking up her Sharpie and tapping it on the table surface in annoyance.

 

"What look?," I countered. "That look like you smelled something bad. I have a friend who makes the same facial expression. SPEAKING OF WHICH!," she squealed and began clacking away furiously. With dazed eyes, I watched her type away like a madwoman while taking a sip of my lukewarm coffee. "With that information you gave me with the license plate, I was able to find the guy that you have a hard-on for," Hanji cackled. I spat out my drink as a wave of fire consumed my face and neck. "H-H- Hanji!!!," I shrieked. Her eyebrows waggled with a manic grin to go along with them. "What? Nothing wrong with stating the obvious. You are like, what, fifteen, sixteen? Totally normal for a young boy to get boners for pretty things!" I groaned loudly, covering my face. "I want the floor to eat me... don't wanna exist anymore..." "Eren, do you wanna know the guy or not?" "Yes, but quit embarrassing me." Hanji sighed with closed eyes. "What's the fun in that?! Fine, fine, ya big baby. C'mere," she motioned to her Mac Book. I stood and walked around the table to see what the mad woman had found for me. What I saw made my stomach drop and heart to race wildly. "It's him...," I whispered. I scanned the familiar, frowning face with those bitterly cold eyes. "His name is Levi Ackerman. Age thirty-four, big shot professor at the local university. Just transferred. Oh, did I mention that he's my bestest friend in the whole world?" I gaped at her, my head whipping so fast I swore I got whiplash. "Wh-what?!!" Hanji bared her white teeth at me in the largest smile. I swear, if the woman had cat ears on her head, they would have been twitching with delight. "Yup! Been attached to the hip since I was nine and he was fifteen. I had beaten up our friend Erwin because he called my bug collection stupid and he stood by and gave me pointers. We've all been buddy pals ever since then. And now... you are in love with him," she beamed. "I don't know about love! I don't know anything-"

 

"Once. Once you did," Hanji murmured, her eyes flickering downward. "Huh?," I asked, greatly confused. She waved a hand dismissively and sighed loudly. "Nothing. Now, my darling, do you want to meet him officially and not at school? Or shall we start small with a phone number?"

  
  
_**\-- A few years ago... --** _   
  
  
_Hanji sat on a bean bag chair, holding the tiny child in her lap. Eren Jager hadn't changed. He was still a fireball of energy. When he had walked in with Carla holding his hand and Mikasa with the other, everything that once was lost came flooding back. How she managed to keep her composure without bursting into tears surprised even her. The faint, scant memory of sweat, smoke, blood, the taste of metal, the feel of horse and leather under calloused hands. The feel of the wind passing through hair, over a face and under a cape. Flashes of blades and thick flesh being torn. The many faces passing by her vision of the army and friends she had lost. One by one, blue and white... Blinking slight tears back, she swallowed thickly and leaned back some as the boy continued to babble and scribble. "And then, I remembered jumping down from a tree and **WOOSH**! I got the monster in the back of the neck! It was awesome!" Hanji smiled fondly at him and ruffled his thick brown hair. "I bet... Eren. Can you tell me something? Do you remember a short man in your dreams? Kinda mean?" He cocked his head to the side. "The clean freak?" _

 

_The young doctor let out a shriek of giggles and hugged him closer. "Oh my God, YES! That's him!" Eren smiled upward at her with gleaming blue-green eyes. "My corporal. Yep. I do. I miss him, Hanji... is he ever coming back?," he pouted then, his face saddening. The former Squad Leader felt her heart jerk at that face. "I don't know. I hope so. Because I miss him too. Him and his grumpy self," she supplied gently. Eren turned around in her lap and placed his tiny hands on her cheeks then pushed her glasses down from her head to her nose. "Squad Leader, no sad, please? I'll be sad for us."  
  
'Dammit, Eren. Even after all this time, you carry everything on your shoulders.'_   
  
_"No, it's fine. One day, we'll all wake up and remember each other and be a big family again. I promise," she choked slightly. Eren nodded and nestled his face in the crook of her neck. "No Titans, right?" Hanji embraced him tightly. "No Titans. Never again."_

  
**_\-- Present Day... --_ **

 

The rain continued to fall in sheets. I walked onward with my phone hot in my back pocket. I had his number. Levi. All to myself, I kept thinking, 'Why does that name sound so familiar?' I hugged myself tighter, passing people and trying to get home. The weather was awful.

  
Cold, dark, and uninviting. The rain? Oh, no. I meant _him_.  
  
  
When I was with Hanji, talking about him, I couldn't help but get some nagging feeling in the back of my mind about Levi. I scowled deeply then I smelled something... clean, soapy, with a hint of mint. I turned around fast, seeing a short form under a black umbrella. My voice logged tightly in my throat and I took off after him, water splashing over my ankles. He was walking so fast! Panting, I finally caught up with the man, grasping his free arm. The suit fabric was scratchy under my palm. My blood was pounding so hard in my ears. My vision drowned in silver all of a sudden. We stopped, the rain bouncing off the umbrella in soft "plat plat plat!" and I was getting soaked. Slender, thin lips parted in realization of who grabbed him. "Oh look here... it's a wet pup." My temper flared. "I'm not a dog," I snarled. The Man raised a brow then glanced at my hand. "You're gripping pretty hard. Do you need some help getting back home?," he retorted. Frowning, I brought him closer, the scent of him crawling all over me. "I know my way home. You are everywhere I am. Can't I catch a break?!" The Man frowned further, the dent between his eyebrows deepening. "... kid, you got about five seconds to get your hand off of my-"  
  
  
What happened?  
Oh God, what HAPPENED?!  
I just remember diving down, pressing his mouth against my own, and my mind reeled. I felt like I had... done this before... it was like home. He didn't move away, so I moved my lips against his slowly, gently while cupping his face. I didn't want to stop.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love mmmmeeeee...
> 
> please love me.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wake up.
> 
> Please wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we are getting weird. But it's a good kind.  
> STAY FOCUSED, PEOPLE!

I'm not going to lie when I say that I hate people. Honestly. I do. I've spent all of my life trying to please others, pushing back my own wants and needs to make sure that they were comfortable and safe. I hate it. Always tired, feeling as if my body dragged around constantly. I kept burying myself in work as a professor of History. Cultural history. Before hand, I was a no one. A little punk that fought, stole, and at one point, almost killed. Luckily, I had Erwin and Hanji to make me not go postal completely. As much as I abhorred people, I kept those two near me and slowly, while at college, I met Eld Jinn, Gunther Schultz, Oluo Bozado and Petra Ral. Through Ewrin and Crazy Eyes, I felt could balance on my level. We were our own little team and for awhile, I was happy with them. It still didn't change my mind about the human race as a whole.

 

My attitude changed one time- one time- when I had stopped by the office where Hanji worked. She was sitting on the floor of the room where she evaluated children, staring at the wall and holding a mess of crayon crude drawings. Turning her head to me, I saw not the best friend I played and tried to push away growing up with. No. I saw a different woman. Something happened. Her eyes seemed older, a faint remnant of Erwin's now. I recalled sitting on my haunches and taking a fistful of hair, turning her head towards me. "Oy, Shitty Glasses, what's wrong?" A weak laugh passed her mouth and her face sagged. "You never change do you- Corporal?" Once that name passed her lips, something stirred in me. A crawling, biting feeling that latched onto my mind and I shook. "What do you mean by that?" The girl sagged and looked down at the drawings. I released her hair and studied them with her. I saw lines of a child-like wall and giants. A pair of wings streaked across the sky against green. My world stopped.

 

Much like it did now with a brat's pair of lips drinking in a stolen kiss.

 

\--

 

Persistent little shit-stain. I wove a hand in-between our bodies and shoved the kid away. My mouth burned. Fingers tingled. I was pissed. I glared darkly at him. "What the  ** _f_** ** _uck_** do you think you're doing?!," I hissed as I gripped my umbrella handle tight. Eren blinked slowly like a dumb cow and his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. "I... I don't know... what I am... shit, I'm sorry!," he cried out, covering his face. I stared at him and sighed. I turned away and started walking. "Tch. Nuisance. Follow me," I barked. And follow he did. We were silent until I reached my apartment. I bought it out for myself so no one lived with me. It was all my own. Once inside the foyer, I shook my umbrella and strapped it closed, glancing at Eren from under my eyelashes. He was tall, probably near five eleven. Hair was the color of darkened chocolate. His skin was a light caramel against the dark green hoodie. As he shook his head like a dog I thought of him as, large eyes with long, inky lashes and arched thick brows opened to reveal intense ocean colored eyes that made me forget how to breathe. He really was stunning. I would know. Ever since that day with Hanji, not so long ago, I've been keeping taps on him. Not in a stalker-way. The "why are you so achingly familiar to me" way. When crazy contacted me the other day about some high schooler going ga-ga over me, she emailed his picture to me and I've been slightly attached ever since. I turned to him with a bored expression. "Come with me. I'll dry your shit til the rain stops." He stood at attention, blushing darkly. "Y-y-you don't h-h-have to," he stammered.

 

I rolled my eyes and started walking up the stairs. "I tend to do whatever I want. Let's go, brat," I deadpanned. He followed after silently til I reached my door. Unlocking it, we walked in. I flipped on the light and sitting on the back of the gray couch was my black Bombay, his tail twitching aggravated at my lateness. "Sorry, Sawney. I'm home. Where's Bean?," I asked him nonchalantly. He fixed me with a stare and a yowl met my question. Jumping beside his brother was a large orange tabby. "There are my boys. We have company. Behave yourselves," I pointed at them. They stared then turned their gaze to Eren. He stood awkwardly to the side, taking it all in. "You are a cat guy," he said lamely. I scoffed while walking into the kitchen. "They are quiet and keep to themselves. Plus, they don't shed as much as dogs. They are at least clean. What do you want to drink? I think I'm out of apple juice," I slightly teased. I heard Eren sputter and I mentally smiled to myself. I do not ever have guests over.

 

Hanji and Erwin tend to show up unannounced as they pleased, but as before, I don't like people. I refuse to let them in. My entire place is spotless, pristine, and very carefully loved with Lysol and bleach. I busied around making a fresh pot of hot water and set out teacups for some tea. I could feel Eren shuffle into the room, his breathing light. "Are you hungry?," I offered lightly. "Uhm... no, thank you. I mean, I am, but I can wait til I get home. Tea is fine," he murmured. Shrugging, I turned around as the kettle heated to give him a look. "Stay right here. I'm going to get you some dry clothes then when you're done changing, I'll dry yours." Eren's face flushed a shade of pink, his large eyes flickering down. Damn those were some long lashes the kid had... "O-okay," he stammered out. I told him to wait in the kitchen. Once I came back with a sensible sized pair of sweat pants and a large sweater, I showed him the bathroom off to the side. While he was gone, I made our tea with musing thoughts. How funny it was; this whole situation. I should have punch him in the face for kissing me the way he did. I have a temper problem though it tends to be the silent type unless provoked. What he did SHOULD have but I merely brushed it off and let him into my home.

 

 _'Why did you kiss me, Eren Jager? What is going through that young idiotic mind of yours?'_ I raised my teacup to my lips and drank deeply. Black tea with just a hint of lemon and a teaspoon of honey is the most delicious thing to ease my mind. I closed my eyes at the taste then heard footsteps padding against the linoleum. I opened them at the sound and my lungs closed up from lack of oxygen. Eren stood in the doorway with disheveled hair and in my clothes, looking like some God damned twink with his wet items in his arms. I swallowed thickly, my Adam's apple bobbing at the motion. "Uhm, here are my things. Sir," he said lamely. I rolled my eyes and walked to him and took the clothes. "Don't say that," I grounded out, walking to the tiny laundry room. "What? Sir? I'm just being polite, man...," Eren grumbled.

 

"I know you are, but I'm not THAT old yet. Go sit down in the living room," I ordered. As I started the dryer up, I willed my heart to quit doing weird, odd poundings. With those clothes on, that vague innocent expression with wide eyes and soft cheeks, Eren was literally... LITERALLY a walking wet-dream for me. I had felt that tingling arousal in my lower belly and tried to quench the fire that sparked. I pushed back some of my hair, holding my hands on my head as I stared at the ceiling. _'You are a grown-ass man, Levi,'_ I told myself. _'There is no reason for you to get a stiffy for a teenager. Get your shit together and make sure he doesn't destroy your house or something.'_ I walked away with my hands stuffed in my pockets of my slacks. My eyes found Eren in a heartbeat and I stopped short. He was laying down on my couch, Sawney and Bean watching him from the back of it. Circling around slowly, my cats' ears flickered a little and gave a stare that said, "Don't wake the poor baby." He had fucking fallen asleep.

 

My hands pulled themselves out of their pockets and hung limply by my side. It seemed that time slowed and all I heard was the soft, steadying breathing of the sleeping boy. Eyes hungrily looked over him... not really now in lust, but as if trying to remember him. To take in how beautiful he was.

 

Is.  
Always had been.  
My reckless snot-nosed, impatient, loud-mouthed, intense loving brat.

 

My fingers gently brushed back some of his bangs from his face and my entire body pulled towards him. I was yearning to shake him awake to scream, "DO YOU REMEMBER ME?! THE REAL ME?!!" I was exhausted mentally each day waiting for him. I leaned down as my tips slid down his face towards his jaw. Oh... I remember that jaw. And that sweet-shaped mouth that knew how to eagerly kiss and run miles per hour talking. I felt tears smarting my eyes. No, Levi. Don't do this. Sighing, I pulled away and stared longer at him.

 

"Hurry up and wake up, Eren. I've been waiting for you for 2,000 years."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These two little shits are gonna make me have a lot of feels.  
> I'm sorry it was a short chapter, but I'll make it up with the next one. I just wanted to get some Levi out of my system. I hope I kept him in character. =_=  
> If you want more, GIVE ME COOKIES FOR HANJI.  
> Or perhaps some interesting Eren/Levi pictures. To look at. 
> 
> FOR SCIENCE.  
> Hohohohohohohooooo~!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want what I can't have.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Hanji moments are the best kind. :D

I didn't have the heart to wake Eren just yet. I sat still with observant eyes drinking in his face, body, the way he breathed in and out. How incredibly young he appeared from being fifteen. My cats kept a vigil over us as if they knew what I was doing. I briefly glanced at my watch and decided five more minutes. I stood slowly, my bones creaking slightly and I scowled at the noise. Getting older was beginning to be a pain in the ass. I walked into my room and picked up my iPhone, calling up Hanji.

 

"Hellllllooooo?," she trilled. I grimaced slightly. "Okay, so the brat is asleep in my apartment right now." She paused. "Who? Eren?"

 

"Who else, shit for brains?" The woman let out a piercing squeal which made me unphased. I was used to Hanji's outbursts of happy, loud noises. "THIS IS AMAZING!! How did it happen? DID YOU TWO GET NASTY SWEATY WITH THE SEXING AND BONING?!!" That's when I jerked the phone away. I felt my face heat up at the notion. "Wh-what the fuck! NO! He found me walking home. He got wet so I offered to dry his stuff and to stay until it let up. Damn idiot didn't have an umbrella."Hanji made a hum of approval and for a moment, I imagined her shifting her glasses further up her broad nose.

 

"And?"

"And what?"

"I know when you are leaving stuff out of conversations. You always did. Even back then-"

"Can we not discuss this right now?"

"When are you **_EVER_** going to let me discuss it? We need to know if Eren even remembers _ANYTHING_ ," she snapped back. I stopped and shifted on one foot to the other. For once, I was speechless. Hanji was a pistol, I will admit that. Her straight forwardness and blunt observations was genuine at best. I sighed deeply and pinched the bridge between my eyes. "He doesn't. Is it sad that I was waiting for him to call me Corporal?," I murmured. I sat down on my bed as we were both silent. "No... it isn't. I miss him calling me Squad Leader. He was one of the best things I ever had the pleasure examining and also fighting beside," Hanji said thoughtfully. "... you know why I transferred to that school," I told her solemnly. "Ever since I told you about him and I talking online, you wanted to see if he and the rest of the kids had woken up. You may seem like an ice queen, but your heart is in the right place, Levi," Hanji said soothingly.

 

"Sometimes I wonder...," I trailed off as I picked at my sheets. She laughed a little. "It's fine. Now. The problem at hand is to see how far you want him to not find out. Everyone is happy in this life. I'd rather it just be me, you, Erwin and the rest of the Operations Squad than those children. We're the adults. I'd carry the burden on my shoulders for the rest of my life into the next than to have them remember everything that happened back then." I nodded. "And I agree. It's our duty to protect their sanity and happiness."

 

"Why, Levi Ackerman! I never thought I'd hear you say something so sweet!" I frowned some but a corner of my mouth twitch with a smile trying to break through. "I'm the sweetest guy you'll ever meet."

"Yeah, yeah. Lemme get that in writing."

I paused. "Hanji..."

"Hmm?" I gnawed on my bottom lip some and gripped my phone tighter. "He kissed me. That's what I left out." The sound the batty woman made was not anything of this Earth. It was probably one of the most shrillest screeches I have heard aside from the day I regained my memories and she did the same noise. "THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!" I deadpanned into the phone while blinking slowly. "Of your life?" Her cackling echoed loudly. "MY DARLING BABY BOY KISSED HIS CORPORAL! OH HAPPY DAY AND PRAISE JESUS- well, even though I don't believe in him-"

 

"Hanji."

"Yes, lover boy?" I slapped a hand on my forehead and dragged it downward. "No... no."

 

I heard a gentle knock on the door and my attention was drawn to the sound. My mouth suddenly went dry and my eyes widened. Eren stood there, clothes rumbled from sleep and yawning largely while rubbing his eyes. "You weren't there... you left," he whined slightly, voice thick with slumber. My heart jerked oddly as a scant memory ran across my mind of seeing something similar a long, long time ago. "Hanji, I'm gonna let you go," I muttered and hung up over her squawking. "Hey," I breathed as I stood up. Eren hugged his torso and stared at me with those hooded, ocean-colored orbs. "Do you still want some tea?," I offered slowly. He nodded and turned on his heel back into the living room. I heard Sawney mrowing at him like an inquiry. I blindly followed. He turned some and smiled softly.

 

"It smells like black tea. That's my favorite kind." I nodded dumbly. "Mine too. Here- sorry- let me refresh it. Your clothes should be done soon," I mumbled and within minutes, we had hot tea and I had a nearly purring teenager holding onto the cup for dear life and a goofy grin on his face. "This is amazing, Levi," he sighed and leaned against the countertop. " 's nothing special," I said lowly and drank deeply. Eren laughed (a shock went up my spine at the tender sound) and shook his messy chocolate locks. "No, I mean it's really, really good. My mom makes it from time to time for me. Whenever I have trouble sleeping." His cheeks pinked slightly. "Do you often have that problem?" Eren nodded some and turned away, burying his nose inside the cup. "... I have bad nightmares that tend to freak me out bad," he whispered. I raised a brow at him.

 

"Really? How so?" He didn't say anything and downed the rest of his drink. "I'd rather not say. Anyway, uhm, about my clothes?" My face fell back into it's natural form and I gestured to the laundry room. "They're in there." The kid simply nodded and stood there with fingers tracing the rim of his cup, eyelashes pointed down to it. They were inky and long. "Eren..." He glanced at me, worrying his lips.

 

"I am really... really... sorry about earlier. Ya know. With the kiss. It was unacceptable and shitty of me. I mean, we don't know each other and I just sorta attacked your face hardcore," he managed to get out without swallowing his tongue. "Look, Eren, it was probably nothing-" He strode over to me and gripped my arms suddenly, his face alight and serious. "That's the thing. It wasn't. Once I kissed you, it felt... right. It felt like home. Like I've known you forever," he hissed. His finger tips dug into my upper arms and I resisted the urge to throw him off and sock him in the stomach. Maybe a good swift kick there would job his memory. For old time's sake- it was sort of a old habit with Eren. Little fucker liked to get thrown around. I managed to stare at him with a bored expression. "Aren't you a bit young to be talking like that? Seems like it came out of a smut romance novel those dried-up house women read when they don't get anymore sex in their lives."

 

He let go of me like I burned him. My stomach dropped at the motion. His face contorted in pain somewhat and he clenched his hands into fists. "That was unnecessary," he snapped and stalked off into the laundry room. I turned away, hunching over the sink and held onto the edge tightly. That hurt. Badly. Faintly, I heard the teen fumbling with his clothes. I kept my back to him as he gathered up his things. I rubbed my mouth harshly. _'Don't do it, Levi... don't do it...'_ When I heard the door click, I knew I had lost him.

 

\--

 

_"Hey, Hanji?"_

_"Yes, my little angel-face? What is it?"_

 

_She turned to the now ten year old who walked towards her with another picture. He scrambled into her lap, even though he was getting to big to do so. He handed her the paper and she peered at it. It was a rather okay drawing of pine trees and a bright blue sky. He had doodled green capes flying against it and kept one on a branch. She brought the paper closer, inspecting it and noticed the black hair. Hanji smiled. "You drew Corporal!" Eren beamed up at her. "I did! When am I going to see him again, Squad Leader?," he pouted, curling into her chest._

 

_Hanji drew him further in and rested her cheek on the top of his soft head. "I don't know. I guess when you're older? Or maybe you'll bump into him on the street? Fate is kinda funny... how have your dreams been lately?" Eren frowned and sighed. "It's half and half. Some nights I sleep, the others I dream and just stay awake. Or I'll go into Mikasa's room. I don't sleep with Mom anymore. Whenever I come visit you, I can sleep better. When I don't, they keep coming back."_

 

_"Are you taking the medicine I gave you?"_

_"..."_

_"Eren!"_

 

_He lifted his round face and made a face. "I don't like medicine." Hanji sighed, closing her hazel eyes. "But they're supposed to help you sleep, sweetie. They don't taste like anything. I promise." He shifted out of her lap and walked slowly to the window. The doctor watched silently as he pressed his forehead against the window, his palms pressed against the glass like he was struggling to get out. The woman stood up fluidly and blindly reached for her pen, scribbling fast as her gaze never left his tiny frame. Whenever Eren went into his sub-conscience, Hanji began to notice some of his old self would leak through. And right now, his stance, posture, and aura screamed the former member of the Survey Corps._

 

_"I can't stand it anymore. I dream. I wake. I can't stand it anymore. I want my head to stop hurting. It feels so full, Squad Leader... like there's cotton stuffed inside. I can still smell copper on my hands, smoke on my clothes, the leather against my body from the Maneuver Gear... and I can see him. I can SEE him. I am reaching out for him and he doesn't see me. Hanji-"_

 

_She started, blinking largely, as the young boy turned to face her, sunlight and shadows hitting around him. For a moment, that brief moment of gold and black, Hanji saw Eren Jager like he once was. His eyes gleamed with greens, blues, flecks of mica, silver and tears. It was the same facial expression he would have if something bad happened to the squad or one of his dear friends. But this went down deeper. It tugged around his eyebrows, mouth, and figure. When he opened his mouth, it wasn't the clear, darling voice Hanji was used to. It was deep, sorrowful, and hurting;_

 

_"I want Levi."_

 

\--

 

I stood outside his door instead of leaving. I leaned heavily against it, trying to remember how to breathe. He had pissed me off SO badly. Who the hell did Levi think we was?!! I could hear the rain softening as it fell as the angry buzzing in my head rang on. Shakily, my fingers came up to my lips and I traced them, the scant memory of when I kissed him earlier filling my senses. The clean smell... mint. Slight woodsy scent. Black tea. Irritation against the smooth skin of his lips that burned. I blinked rapidly and gasped against my finger tips. My heart pounded in rapid beats against my chest. I knew that flavor... I knew THAT KISS.

 

Why did I?!!

 

My hoodie was warm from his dryer and it clung the fabric softener smell. It was all him. I gritted my teeth and yanked myself away from the door and ran down to his foyer. I had to get away. I dug my phone out and dialed for Armin.

 

I needed to know if I was going crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM TRASH I AM SO MEAN TO MY BABY BOY.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren tries to feel normal, while Levi takes two steps back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of you guys will probably question my motives between these two, but I have a plan.   
> The dreams will eventually allow Eren to remember his past, but we all know that a certain pissy shorty will help with it. Enjoy my deep thoughts and shit for this chapter.  
> And a little bit of teasing for you all.  
> :3

It was already near ten at night once I made it to Armin's house. The rain didn't effect me badly. We were in his room, me on the bed and he at his desk, blaring MUSE lightly over the laptop speakers. During the time it took me to get to his place and the phone call, Armin had made two large turkey sandwiches and an open bag of Doritos with Mountain Dew for us. However, he was busy with his back turned to me. I knew what he was doing and I eagerly awaited it. I bounced lightly on the bed like a puppy once he turned around with his blonde hair pulled back in a ponytail, his plaid shirt sleeves rolled up and presented me with a grin, a red Bic lighter, and a bowl.

 

"Enjoy, amigo. You've had a long day and it's time to chill and we can talk," he said with a nod. I took the gifts and sat back, bringing the bowl lip to my mouth, held down the sides where the two holes were, lit the main one with the grass laying in it and inhaled. The mellow, slightly tangy flavor filled my mouth as I sucked. I held it in for a moment and blew gently, closing my eyes in happiness. "Oh yeah... that's it. Man, Armin. You always get the best stuff." He laughed a little as I took another hit, breathed deep and exhaled. I passed it to Armin, who took a larger one twice. We sat still for a moment in silence until the buzz kicked in then hit the bowl several more times. I laid down on his bed and stared up at the ceiling. We passed it around until a nice haze covered the room.

 

"Okay, man. Spill what happened?" I sighed and licked my lips, the weed taste prominent on them. "I was walking back home from meeting up with CrazyPhysco, who ironically turned up to be my old doctor, Hanji Zoe. Remember her?" "Shit... yeah, I do. I met her a couple of times when I went with you for your check ups. Hella weird," Armin said hazily, blinking his large blue eyes. "Anyway, I'm walking down the street... and there he was! The dude from school that had been showing up- the pissy short guy. I _SMELT_ _HIM, ARMIN_. Fuckin' like... all clean and crap and I followed and... kinda... maybe... kissed him?" My best friend let out a strangled cough-laugh. **"WHAT?!** Jesus, Eren, were you desperate or something!? I hope he kicked you in the balls or smacked you around a couple of times-" I chucked a pillow at Armin, which deftly missed the laughing blonde. "I'm having a crisis and all you wanna do is sound like an ass! Seriously, though, I kissed the dude and like... I can't describe it...," I trailed off stupidly.

 

I picked up the neglected bowl and lit into it, taking a slow and thoughtful hit. I could easily recall through my blazed memory the feel of those lips. How perfectly albeit a bit sloppily it was. They felt familiar. As if I has kissed them a thousand times and never got tired of them. His mouth-

 

"-felt like it was right," I mumbled. The bed dipped with Armin's weight and I glanced at him. He was staring at me with an expression on his face I couldn't quite read. "Eren, do you believe in Fate?," he asked quietly. I cocked my head to the side. "Wha? Like that "red string" crap the Japanese go on about?" Armin smacked my shoulder. "Shut up. Listen to me. Maybe you and this Levi guy were something in another life. Maybe you two were lovers and in this life, you don't know if you had been or not. I wonder... and maybe it's this ballin' ass dank I have, but what if your dreams and this guy have some sort of tie in together?," he rambled, tapping his fingers against his knee cap. Whenever Armin thought out loud, he always had to shake a leg, move his hands, or bite along his thumb. It was a tic of his. "You think so? I don't know," I sighed and rolled over to grab a sandwich from the desk. I chomped my way into it while Armin continued to speak. "They didn't really start back up til you had bumped into him. The nightmares. Eren... has he been in them?" I started, a piece of turkey dangling from my lips. I stared wildly at my friend. "I... I think so... not sure. I can't think straight while I'm toasted, man," I griped at Armin, continuing to stuff my face. "Do you want him to keep coming around?," he asked sincerely, concern etched all over his face. I blushed some and with the weed, it felt hotter than normal.

 

"I guess so."

"Then go after him."

 

\--

**_A few hours later..._ **

\--

 

Mikasa had ripped me a new one for being late for dinner. Mom wasn't even home yet and I was still swimming from the effects of the grass I had smoked. I waved a hand dismissively at her while walking up the steps to my room. I heard her scoff, stomp away and slam cabinet drawers and doors. Fine. Stay mad. It's not like I went out clubbing really late or something. Once inside the safety of my secluded bedroom, the clothes came off and just a pair of pajama pants were on instead. My phone buzzed slightly on the bed. I picked it up, the blue glow washing over me.

 

**_'hope you don't mind, but i mmmaaayyyy have your number. >:) _ **   
**_-hanji'_ **

 

I groaned and unceremoniously fell down in my blankets. How did she get it?! My buzz was wearing off and the sandwich from earlier felt like lead in my stomach. The talk about Levi did not help me one bit. Sighing, I rolled over and hugged a pillow to my face. Everything felt overly sensitive to me. My thoughts traveled back to Levi and I couldn't help but sigh listlessly. If not, a bit of longing. The last relationship I had wasn't really considered concrete. He was a quiet guy, kept to himself and had the sweetest, boyish smile. The kind that make your heart do that flip-flop thing.

 

Like how Levi's eyes did to me-

 

_Bzzz! Bzzz!_

 

I bit on my bottom lip at the memory of those silver pools flashing at me as I reached for my phone, seeing another text from Hanji.

 

**_'And don't hate me either but i have it to mr. grumpy pants as well!!! ENJOY!_ **   
**_-hanji'_ **

 

I stared at my screen for a moment in shock. Then horror. "Why would she DO that?!!," I hissed to no one, frantically tapping away at my phone to reply back to the crazy-ass woman. Instead, my thumbs kept fumbling so I decided to call her. She had a call waiting song playing, some weird song that sounded vaguely like it could be in an anime series. After awhile, Hanji picked up. "Well, well, my darling boy~! What can I ever help you with?," she sang. I grimaced. "Doctor Zoe-"

"HANJI! Hanji, PLEASE, Eren! Doctor makes it sound like I'm old!" I rolled my eyes heaven-ward. "Fine. Hanji. Now, why would you give my cell number to Levi when he  _clearly_ wants nothing to do with me? Like never ever anymore." I heard her shuffling around in the background and then a chair creaking. She must've sat down at her computer. "Oh ho ho ho ho! I beg to differ, my little fireball! Let Levi gather himself and TRUST me- he is interested. Now, get to bed! Relax and spend Sunday figuring out what you want, dear. Nighty night!" She hung up, leaving me confused. I slid my phone on the bedside table and flopped on my back. Was Levi really interested in me? Frowning, I closed my eyes and my body sank further into the mattress. Sleep sounded good.

 

\--

 

_'You know this is wrong.'_

 

_'Hnnnggg... don't... don't care-'_

 

_'Tch. Impatient little shit.'_

 

_It was hot everywhere and I welcomed it. An armful of muscle, skin, a body that fought to stay alive as I did. And it was all mine. Finally. I moaned deliciously into the black room as a pair of hands scratched down my sides, my back arching at the action. A lewd, moist mouth latched onto my neck, sending lines of fire down to my belly and my straining erection. Only he could make me feel like this. As if I was really human and not a monster. My hands wove into his silky hair and gripped the stands as the mouth nibbled upward along my jaw. His thrusts were slow and teasing as he moved inside of me at his own pace. I clung to him as much as I could. I couldn't get enough. He was my drug and I his. From the moment he promised to take care of me and my problem, my entire heart was his. I whined as he hit a particular spot. Goosebumps danced along my sweating skin. His faint breath puffed over my lips, the faint taste of black tea making me want to drink him. My hands slid to his shoulders, nails biting into the flesh. 'Aaah... I-I-I'm almost- ha!'_

 

_'I know. I want you to. Fall apart for me, Eren,' he whispered against my lips, pushing my knees further up, his hips jerking hard now. Tears gathered in the corner of my eyes and threatened to spill, it felt so good. HE felt so good. Intense and powerful, like a black panther I once read about. A hunter. He was wanting me as his prey. I met his hips in hurried rhythm, the crest of euphoria rising fast. 'L-Levi!,' I strangled out and everything crashed down. A white-hot pang of pleasure rocked my body and I strained up, my limbs frozen. I tightened around him and with a low, gravely moan, the man above me pounded hurriedly then stilled. I could feel him pulsing inside of me. I panted wildly with a racing heart. Our hands felt around for each other in the dark, holding our quivering bodies tightly as we came down from our high. It smelt of sex in his room, but we paid it no mind. I felt him plant kisses, oh so soft, along my temple and cheek, meeting my mouth. It was slow and languid, not rushed._   
  
  
_And in that tiny moment, in this ugly, deadly yet beautiful world, we were safe..._

 

\--

 

The following morning was gray again. So much rain. And I woke up crying silently. I buried my face into my pillow and allowed the tears to stream freely. It was the one dream I had ever had that made me feel something than fear. But it was also the one that made me feel the most sad. It was ranked up top with the constant nightmare of my mother being eaten alive. The warmth of my bed felt cold to me. I was detached. Something was missing. It was a vital piece of my sanity. And why did it feel like Levi was that particular piece? Why him? Why me? My phone chirped brightly and I lifted my head some, scowling darkly at it. I ignored it and instead, spent another hour in my make-shift nest alone. Then, there came a soft rapt on my door. "Eren?," called a soft voice. It was mom. "Come in," I said thickly while staring out the window. The rain made crystal patterns on the pane, melding and breaking.

 

I felt the bed dip in weight and a cool, soft hand brushed back my hair. "Hey, baby. Mikasa said you came home late last night. And you reek of weed. Must have been with Armin," she mused lightly, her fingers playing with several hair strands. I cringed in guilt. "Sorry. I know you don't like it," I groused. "No, but at least it isn't cocaine or heroine," she sighed. Mom moved around and she spooned behind me, holding my body against hers like she used to when I was little. "You okay, big man?," she asked. I shrugged some. "Dunno. I guess."

 

"... your dreams again?" My silence to her was all she needed to hear. She sighed deeply and squeezed my arm. "You were doing so well there for a moment. But at least you aren't waking up screaming. Do you want to talk about it?" I didn't say anything until after beat. "Mikasa told you, didn't she? Always nosing into my business," I spat, getting slightly angry. "She isn't nosing. She's being your sister. She cares. We all do, baby. I could always get some more sleep aid-"

 

"No. That crap makes me groggy and disoriented. I won't concentrate in school." Mom made a humming sound of agreement and hugged my frame tightly. "I understand. But don't hide away, Eren. You know we all love you. Very much," she murmured and kissed my ear, sitting up. I rolled on my back to look up at her. Hair unkempt like mine in a low ponytail and tired hazel eyes. I could see the tiny crow's feet near her eyes and some lines on her forehead. She and I were too much alike- always frowning in concentration or looking serious when need be. But her face was the same as mine- youthful and smooth. Still gorgeous. I raised a hand and tugged on her hair some. "You look like a hot mess," I picked at her lightly with a small smile. She gasped in mock horror and smacked my hand away. "Damn right I'm still hot, no matter how bad I look!" I laughed at her and sat up, sheets pooling around my waist.

 

"I love you, Mom," I said to her, truthfully honest. She beamed at me, a smile that was mine mirroring back. "I love you more, hero. C'mon. I think some homemade French toast and bacon is in order for this shitty day. I don't have to work til four, so my day is yours and Mikasa's. Go easy on her now," she demanded and thumped my forehead. I watched her stand and walk to my bedroom door. For some reason, my heart lurched at the sight of her turned back and something akin to fear prickled at the base of my head. My throat worked thickly and I reached out for her. "Ma-"

 

She turned around slowly and her hand fell from the doorknob. We stared at each other for a moment and for a split second, in her large eyes, it seemed... like she knew... something. Her own face contorted slightly, her chin trembling. "Oh..." In a flash, she was back to me, holding me fiercely. "No, baby. Not like that. It's not real. I promise. It's not!," she hissed in the crown of my head. I clung to her waist. I was shaking. "It's not real... it's not real," I parroted back into her shirt. Lavender, soap, and sleep still lingered around her. It was Mom's smell.

 

Why did I think she was leaving me?   
  
\--

 

Mikasa was sitting on the couch, flipping through channels with a blank look on her face when I came down later. After showering and dumping my clothes into the washer, my stomach rumbled with hunger. Mom was in the kitchen, working up a storm of cooking. I stared at the back of her black head and took a deep breath. "Hey." I saw her flinch a little. "Hey," came the cool reply. After the little scare with Mom, I decided it was time for Happy Eren. I bounded to the couch and hauled her up in a mock choke-hold, giving her a noogie. "Bratty sisters deserve Divine Punishment!," I crooned as she shrieked and swatted at my arms.   
  


"EREN, YOU ASSHOLE!"

 

"NO SWEARING, DAMMIT!," shouted Mom. I laughed evilly and flipped over the back into her lap. Her hair stood out in odd angles and her face was flushed pink with anger, eyes glinting at me. "Say you love me," I stuck out my tongue at her, grinning. She pursed her lips, smoothing back hair with irritation and looked away. "I don't love you," she said in a monotone voice. "That's a damn lie and you know it. _MIKA-LOO, LOVE LOVE LOVE MMMMEEEE!_ ," I whined at her. "Oh my God, you are an embarrassment to this family," she groaned, pushing my body away from her. "You two chill, apologize, and come eat," Mom demanded, coming into view with a spatula in her hand.

 

We both jumped up with guilty looks on our faces. "You pissed off the Inquisitor," I stage-whispered at her, nudging Mikasa's shoulder. She shoved me aside. "You did, douche nozzle." "IF YOU TWO DO NOT STOP IT, I'M DENYING YOU INTERNET AND NETFLIX."

 

**"MMMMOOOOOOMMMMMM!"**

\--

 

After a late breakfast and continuous begging to Mikasa, she gave in with a punch on my shoulder and a peck on the cheek. We sat down to watch a movie together, all three, and I dug into my pockets for my phone. I saw three missed calls from Hanji, a text from Sasha, Jean, and five from Hanji... yet again. I rubbed the bridge of my nose. This woman, I swear. Sasha's text was a simple one, asking if we could do dinner with the gang later at Colossal Wall (a joint known for AMAZING burgers and shakes) which I eagerly replied to with an all caps "YES PLEASE". Jean was a homework question and asking if I was okay. ( ** _"It's WW2 shit man, it's the easiest thing to look up online, but the answer is 1942. and yea, i'm doing okay. we'll talk later about it."_** ) Hanji was a slew of _**"have you talked with Ravioli yet?"**_ , _**"i KNOW you're awake you need to answer le question!"**_ , " _ **I AM DYING HERE. HE TOLD ME YOU KISSED HIM SO I WANT DETAILS."**_

 

I blushed heavily at that last text and hurriedly replied, **_"Yes, I'm awake, no I haven't talked to a Ravioli... I'm assuming that's code for Levi?, and why did he tell you that?!!"_** I huffed mightily and leaned back further into the recliner, trying to focus on the screen. It was Pacific Rim playing, one of my favorites because well, duh, the Jagers. My phone buzzed once more and I glared down at it, swiped my thumb to unlock the text, then my stomach leaped up into my throat. Speak of the devil... it was the short pasta man.

 

_'Brat, you left something here last night. Care to recall?'_

 

I did think hard, but nothing came to mind. Blinking slowly, I back-tracked as best as I could.

 

_**'Sorry, but i don't. was it something that important that you had to text me??'** _

 

I smiled at myself at that. If he was going to be an asshole to me, I was going to be just as ice-cold back to him. _'Your shirt, shit for brains.'_ I blanched, gripping my phone. That's right... I was in such a hurry to leave, I just pulled on my hoodie and not my shirt! Swallowing thickly, I replied back as best as I could with shaking hands.

 

_'I'm having family time right now. when's a good time for you for me to get it??'_

 

_**'Tomorrow after school. Don't be late, brat.'** _

 

_'look, dick, I may be a brat, but there's nothing bratty on me,'_ I sent back, gleefully pleased. HA! Take that, Ravioli. I ignored my phone for the rest of the film and enjoyed Mom and Mikasa's company. When three rolled around, Mom started to get ready for her shift at the hospital. "You two be careful tonight. Let me know when you leave and get home. Love you guys!," she called out to us later with kisses on our foreheads. We chorused the usual, "Love you too!" and got ready ourselves. I hadn't been able to hang out with the gang in a minute so this should be fun. We left the house around five and got on our bikes, cycling into town. Thankfully, the rain let up and the clouds hung low in the sky, the sunset trying to break through. I stared at it some while pedaling and got the faintest sense of remembrance. The wind passed through my hair and flannel shirt. It was a good gust and clean, the faintest scent of the ocean traveling with it. I passed by Mikasa and let go of the handles, letting my arms go back and head tilted up to the sky. I felt a little free.  
  
If only I could fly...   
  


\--

 

Once inside the warmth of Colassial Wall, we saw our usual table filled with Armin, Sasha, Connie, Jean, and Marco with some additional people. Bertholdt was there with his buddy Reiner Braun, Annie in tow with Krista Reiss and a girl I vaguely recalled named Ymir. I smiled at them all and clamored into a chair, grabbing a menu. The whole table was filled with chattering, loud barks of laughter and soon, food being passed around and straw wrappers blown at one another. This felt great. A comfort to me. I leaned back, full of burgers, fries, and two strawberry milkshakes and sighed happily with closed eyes. _Bzz!_ Crap. My phone. I pulled it out of my back pocket and saw two text messages. Both were from Levi, whom I forgot to add into my contacts. I never did see the reply from early and the retort made me grow hot from the top of my head to my toes;

 

**_'I'd like to see if you're that impressive and not a little boy.'_ **

 

_**'I might just keep this shirt for myself. Who knows- maybe it can be good as collateral. Or something to use when I jack off.'** _

 

I buried my face in my arms in embarrassment and slight flattery. This asshole. Tonight and tomorrow was going to be the longest days of my life.

 

\--

 

_A clear, blue sky._   
_Laughter._   
_Lush green meadows and oak trees._   
_Rolling hills._   
_Flowers of every type._   
  
  
_Soft white dirt that we called "sand"._   
_Large rock formations that stood tall that we called, "the mountains"._   
_A large body of salt water we called "the ocean"._   
_Cries of hurrying into it._   
  
  
_Seagulls._   
_Birds._   
_Freed horses._   
_Clothes hanging out to dry._   
_Fields of growing vegetables._   
_Animals roaming._   
  
  
_I remember these things once. We were happy. Or at least... I think I was? No. There was something missing... wait- some ONE._

 

_An empty bed at night._   
_No little notes._   
_A hand I used to hold._   
_Lips that haven't touched another since._   
_Tear-stained pillows._   
_A badge gripped tightly that is now frayed and faint with color._

  
_I am-_

 

_Alone._

 

\--

 

I woke up frozen in my bed. My heart forgot to beat. I struggled to breathe. I blindly searched for my phone and automatically, I knew who I was calling. A sleep-filled voice filtered through. "What's wrong, Levi? You never call this late." I closed my eyes and heaved my chest up, collecting air into my lungs. "It's the same dream again-

 

Erwin."   
  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOOOOHHHHH CAPTAIN EYEBROWS.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Come a little closer, baby..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweet nibblets I hate my laptop. I have been reduced to using my phone and it pains me. All I had written was on that damn machine. I have a friend working on it now so... bear with me. That's why it's been taking me so dang long.  
> ;_;

I had been standing outside his apartment door for what seemed like forever. He had told me to come back after school, which I nearly FLEW over to. I gritted my teeth and narrowed my eyes. I had to do- I had to! Thinking that this little short stuff could _intimidate_ me, I took his challenge and now here I was. Hesitant to ring the doorbell. But... what if he wasn't home? And I've been standing here for like... fifteen minutes trying to find my balls. "Shit," I whispered to myself, running a hand through my messy hair.

 

Clearly, this was taking a toll on me.

 

Throughout the day, I kept peeking at my phone for the time. School was dragging hardcore. Sasha kept giving me looks of "What is WRONG with you?!" in homeroom and History. I dismissed her with a large grin then continued to burn holes at my cell clock. Not even Jean's braying deterred my focus and concentration. Last night after the big dinner with everyone, I kept re-reading Levi's text about him wanking off to my shirt. He wouldn't...

 

would he?

Nah, he couldn't. He didn't seem like the type to. All pressed clothes, a shitty pristine attitude almost like a princess.

 

But then again... no one knows what goes on behind closed doors. As I laid in bed, staring at those black letters, my heart pumped like a jack hammer and a truckload of naughty and lewd things about Levi. He was short in stature, but he made up for with a strong,, handsome face, eyes the color of a rainy day, and a body that could probably wreck me. _HARD_.

My right hand and I never got more acquainted than ever last night.

 

Now I stood awkwardly in front of the door of the man who would not get out of my head. Taking a deep breath I took the chance and rang the bell. I could hear it echo and my stomach turned to lead.

 

_THIS WAS A BAD IDEA._   
_WHAT THE FUCK AM I GETTING MYSELF INTO?!!_

 

My knees quaked as the door unlocked and low and behold stood Mr. Pissy himself in all his irritated glory. My GOD he was gorgeous...

"About time, shit stain. It looked like you were about to pass out on my step. Can't gave that, can we?," he smirked. My stupid heart did flip-flops. I managed to school my features and frowned as best as I could. "I wouldn't pass out here. I can do better some place else," I snapped. Levi's face stilled, something flickering in his eyes but then went back to a bored look.

"I'm sure you could. Get your ass in here," he snapped, turning his back to me. Silently, we made it upstairs were I was greeted with meows. I smiled some at the two cats as they allowed me to pet them. "Hey, Sawney and Bean," I cooed to them quietly. Their loud purring put me at ease. I straighten up and saw Levi standing in the hallway watching me with a hooded expression. "They never like new people," Levi murmured. I shrugged. "Animals have always liked me. Guess I'm a pet whisperer or somethin'," I chuckled. Levi rolled his eyes then drew something from his side. Dangling between two pretty fingers was my shirt. I made a move to get it but was snatched back.

"Not so fast, snot-nose. I need to ask you a question," he said lowly. I eyed him suspiciously, drawing back my hand.

"What is it?"

"The night you kissed me... why did you really do it?"

"..."

I blushed darkly and glanced at the floor. "Look I apologized about it. I'm not sure WHY I did... I just did. It was a mistake-"

A dry, humorless laugh came from his lips. Lips I had dreamed about too often within a short amount of time.

"Fucking hell, Eren. You're a terrible liar. The tips of your ears go red." I jerked my head up at him with large eyes. "You kissed me because you wanted to. There's no denying it. It was a hell of a first impression to go along with your half-assed attempt at painting," Levi drawled out, swinging my shirt back and forth. His eyes stayed trained on me though they had grown darker in shade. I swallowed the sudden lump in my throat. Those God-damned eyes... they have been haunting me ever since I first met him.

 

Wait.  
No.  
I have seen them... before...  
 ** _When?_**

 

"You're probably wondering too if I did jack off to your shirt. Answer is no. I'm not THAT pathetic to do something as low as that. That's reserved for your lot. Eren, come here," he ordered then softly. Head swirling with unanswered questions, slight rage and curiosity, I walked to him as timid as a dog would to a stranger. I sized him up, my cheeks darkening. This felt all-too agonizingly familiar. I felt my mouth part in the silence stretched between us and his gaze zoomed in on the motion. Trembling, I said, "Yes sir?" as a half-mock, half-serious gesture. Levi frowned deeply, the lines between his eyes sharpening.

"Tch. Brat."

He tossed the shirt on my head, the fabric covering my eyes. I squawked at the sudden blindness then felt my head being jerked forward. He pulled it down by yanking on the collar of my Polo shirt.

"Keep that covered," Levi mumbled, his breatg faint on my face. He smelled like mint and tea again and instantly, the scent went straight down my pants. I suppressed a shudder, which sad enough, Levi caught. He laughed some the sound amused. "Am I making you feel things down south?," he teased lightly, a fingertip tracing underneath my chin. I made a small whine. My inhibitions were about to go flying out the window here. I chewed on my bottom lip in slight fear.

"Maybe..."

Levi sighed and the fingertip then went up, tugging my lip out of my mouth. "Don't do thag. You'll tear skin," the raven murmured. I whimpered lamely at the contact.

"Want me to kiss you, Eren?"

_'Was this a trick-fucking-question?'_

"I do but... you... probably don't want to...," I trailed off. _'Oh I hope he does... PLEASE kiss me'_

Levi hummed and withdrew the shirt, his entire attention on me. I blinked owlishly at him and he sucked in his breath quickly, a tongue slipping out to moisten his own lips. "Damn those eyes... and damn you, Eren Jager," he growled. A pair of hands wound up in my hair and snatched me down more, our mouths finally connecting. I couldn't help it... I moaned eagerly into the kiss, my arms wrapping underneath his arms and pressing that strong body against my own.

 ** _Shitshitshitshit-_** he tasted like Nirvana. He bit and nibbled at my lips, swiping his tongue inside to plunder and abuse my own. I willingly allowed him to, trying to keep up with his pace. He twisted my head to the side for better access and if that didn't get me harder. I sighed and grinded slightly against him, hearing the shorter gasp and pull back, his mouth glistening and eyes like gunmetal gray. "Horny nuisance," he grounded out, his voice rough. I licked at my chops like a cat and grinned madly at him. "You did this... you've been doing THIS to me all day," I chided, rolling my hips along his to prove me point.

Levi hissed, diving his head back to mine, capturing my mouth in another bruising kiss that made me shake. Nails dug into my neck and I cried out in pleasure. He found my weak spot. His tongue was wicked, sliding this way and that, scribbling along the ridge of my upper mouth and sucking back my tongue so erotically, my pants tightened even further and it was beginning to hurt.

I pulled back, panting and pressed my forehead against his. We stared deep into each others eyes.

 

This was... so... right. It was perfect. As if I had done it a thousand times and never got tired of it.

"Levi," I breathed, skimming my nose along his. The man sighed, closing his eyes. I could count every lash and I found myself loving them. "... this wasn't supposed to happen today, was it?," I asked. Levi opened his eyes slowly and they seemed sad. I didn't like it. "No. It wasn't. But it happened. Unpredictable as ever," he sighed heavily.

I shifted back and studied him. "I'm... sorry? What do you mean as ever?"

He shook his head and slipped from my arms. "Never mind. Uhm... shit. Sorry for molesting you."

"I don't mind as long as it's you."

He rolled his eyes but a corner of his mouth was tilted up. "Annoyance. Sit down, I'll make us something to eat. We need to talk."

"Okay...?"

 

Why did this not sound good?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter BUT I GAVE YOU A MAKEOUT SESSION!  
> My inner Hanji made me do it. *twirls away*


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> baby boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... yeah. I GOT A NEW LAPTOP NOW SO I CAN WRITE!!!  
> Let's hope I can do better with updates now. This chapter is going more in-between the boys, but no smut nor cuddly moments JUST yet.   
> I may do one soon. Maybe. *grins manically*

I haven't felt this nervous for anything in a long time. The last time I felt like my heart had fallen into my butt was when I had to do an oral presentation in the fifth grade on "The Other Side of the Mountain" and I bombed it HARD. It didn't help that Jean and Connie laughed at me the entire time like a bunch of braying donkeys. But now, I was sitting on the couch belonging to the most gorgeous man ever and wanting the floor to eat me up alive. After that rather intense kiss we shared, it now felt like a walking daydream. Did it really happen? I worried my lips with my teeth until the gentle clank in front of me signaled that Levi had returned with a large glass filled with Coke for me. Blinking stupidly, I looked up at him from under my bangs. "Th-thank you...," I stammered. He glanced at me with a flicker of silver and a soft smirk. "You okay over there, champ? Or did that little kiss do too much for you and your highly-sensitive dick?" I gaped at him with my mouth opened like a fish. "Wh-what the hell?!!" Levi chuckled lowly and sat across from me in a recliner, crossing his legs and resting his chin in one of his hands. "Easy there, Eren. No need to get your feathers ruffled. Take a sip of your drink," he ordered lightly while nodding towards the glass. Fuming quietly, I picked it up and downed half of it, thankful for the sugary carbonation. When satisfied, I put it back down and stared at the raven. We held each others gazes until he broke it with a calm, neutral voice.

 

"That kiss shouldn't have happened."

"..."

"Eren, it shouldn't. I'm too old for you. And it's wrong. Really, really, REALLY wrong. I took advantage and that's not in my cards. I don't ever do things like that to strangers."

 

I frowned deeply. "It doesn't feel like we are, though," I mumbled, glancing down at my hands. "You're assuming too much. You're just a teenager for Christ's sake. Technically, as the adult, I shouldn't have done what I did," he murmured. I clenched my hands into fists as he spoke and a wall of rage began to build in front of my eyes. Blood roared thickly in my ears and I felt them and my neck flare up with heat. "Eren, look at me." I jerked my chin up, eyes blazing, and Levi started. His own narrowed further. His jaw set. "Damn those eyes," he growled. "I remember them so clearly... defiant and stubborn. Why are you getting mad?," he pressed, uncrossing his legs and sitting forward. "Because I just am! Okay, so we don't know each other and I am reckless, but YOU WON'T GET OUT OF MY HEAD!," I snapped. My leg started to shake in anger. Levi's gaze flickered down to the action. "A tic. I have those sometimes too. I'll be blunt, kid. You won't get out of mine either. I don't know if it's a good thing or not. But what happened... that kiss... something like that can NOT happen again," Levi grounded out with a firm frown. I gaped at him with an open mouth.

 

"Wh-what?!"

"You sound so dejected now."

 

"I'm pissed!" Levi sighed deeply and ran a hand through his inky black hair. "You're a nuisance. Look, Eren, obviously I'm taking a leaf out of my own book and maybe Hanji had something to do with it, but I'm apologizing for this. If we press this further, I could go to jail. You're so fucking young. You're like, what, fifteen? That's so illegal." I blushed slightly and bit down on my bottom lip. "Yeah... it is... I wouldn't want you to go to the big house either," I mumbled. "I just- Jesus, this is hard. You're just so intriguing and infuriating to me. My dreams that I used to have when little started back up again when I met you. It might have been a trigger of some sort," I drawled out while sitting back, staring up at the ceiling. "A trigger?," Levi asked. "Yep. The dreams are weird. Kinda out of this world. Like it was some kind of other life. But I had some about you and I haven't screamed in my sleep. I'm at ease. Maybe not a trigger... but a base? A wall?," I asked out loud to myself, scratching my neck. My skin felt itchy. Levi made a "hmm" sound and clicked his tongue. "Sounds awfully weird, I'll admit. But hey, if I'm of some help to someone, I'm glad it's you. But back to the original previous conversation. Since I have a inkling that you aren't going to leave me alone, I can "try" and be some kind of friend. That doesn't mean you can harass me though. I do have a job," he pointed out lowly.

 

I lowered my head with a snap and a large smile. My chest fluttered. "I think I can do that! No problem! I'll try and keep my paws off," I laughed, wiggling my fingers at him. A corner of Levi's mouth twitched some like that of a smile. "Only if you can, pup. So, we have an understanding, Eren?," he asked. I nodded fast. "Yes, yes. And I am sorry too, Levi. I do tend to be compulsive, but I wanna be near you." There was a flash of something in his steel grey eyes and then vanished quickly just as it had arrived. He stood up and picked up my empty glass. "Are you hungry? I can call a pizza and we can actually talk about your dreams." I blinked slowly. "You... you... would do that?" Levi smirked and thumped me on the forehead with a flick of his finger. "Shut up and yes. I'm not a professor of psychology for nothing."

\--

 

While waiting for the food, I played a bit with Sawney and Bean with a cat-toy. Ya know, the stick with the feather and bell on the end. Watching their jade and hazel eyes follow it and soft paws reach for it, I couldn't help but laugh at their playfulness. Levi had the television playing in the background, "Criminal Minds", and I was high entertained and also at ease. So relaxed and having not a care in the world. Leaning back against the couch on the floor, I leaned my head back and sighed deeply. I don't know what Levi did to me, but in a long time, I felt like a normal person without having to worry about throwing a fit nor being angry. I felt then a nudge against my hand. I looked down and saw Bean looking at me quizzically, as if saying, "Why did you stop with the toy?" Smiling softly, I jangled the stick and Bean pounced on it, gnawing at the feather while Sawney looked on with a bored expression and began to bathe his paw. "They really do like you," came a gentle voice above my head. I glanced back over my shoulder and saw Levi standing there, holding two glasses of Coke. I grinned. "Like I said, I love animals and they love me." He shook his head some and came around the couch, handing me a glass. "The pizza should be here in about fifteen minutes. If you'd like, we can talk some." I nodded and sipped on my drink.

 

"I don't mind. Where should I start?"

"Let's go with when you visited Hanji."

"Yeah, about that. I remember something about my mother asking her how she knew so much when she was so young."

"Hanji was a very smart intellect growing up. Skipped several grades. Always had her her nose in a book and never really going out much. I don't think Hanji had a REAL childhood. Sometimes I think that's why she acts the way she does now. So carefree and no filter, like you. At the age of fifteen, she already knew so much medical information that she applied for work through school. They allowed her. Hanji was the top of her class, straight A's, a 4.0, and an I.Q. like that of Einstein. The school was hesitant, but allowed her to do after-school work at the local hospital. She wanted to specialize in childcare, especially of those who didn't seem quite right. When I mean by that, children who seemed a bit more unique than most. That's where you came in. Hanji adored you," Levi said in a even tone.

 

My cheeks flushed at that. "I'm sure she liked my mind a lot," I offered. He shook his head. "No. She liked you for being so open and honest. The dreams, as she told me later, seemed vivid, like a memory. There are those who believe in reincarnation. Like a person dying and coming back as another person or putting their own soul in someone to relieve certain memories. That's what Hanji has told me." Levi paused and drank some of the Coke, his gaze never wavering from mine. He stopped and placed the glass on the coffee table. "I saw all the drawings you did. She still has them. Giant people, endless blue skies, men in green cloaks, weapons made like swords. You even drew the monsters eating people. That's a rather large imagination. You stopped seeing Hanji when you turned twelve. You mother had told her they had stopped. I think growing up might have helped. You begin to pick what is real and what isn't. Things that can't hurt you because they aren't there in real life," Levi stated, crossing his legs. "Now, here's my question- what was I to you in those dreams?"

 

I swallowed thickly at the question. I searched my mind, trying to recall those images. "You were... I think... some kind of figure head? A leader of a group? Always moving forward, never looking back. I remember one where I tried to catch up, but it was hard. But you were always there. Me by your side... like we were a team of some kind...," I trailed off, looking down at the cats who abandoned their toy and instead purred quietly by my side, laying still. We were both silent until the doorbell rang, startling me. Levi glanced at the door. "Food is here," he muttered and got up to greet the delivery boy. When his body disappeared, I got up and sat on the couch, wringing my hands. My heart was thumping a mile a minute. I never confessed my dreams of Levi to anyone. It felt personal to tell him so freely what he meant to me in my dreams. I raked trembling hands through my hair and tried to breathe regularly. Soon, I smelled melted greasy cheese and pepperoni and my stomach immediately rumbled at the scent. Pizza was always a comfort food of mine. I blew out a ragged breath of air and followed the smell into the kitchen. Levi's back was to me while fixing our plates. My heart kicked it up a notch. The sight of his back, the white button down shirt straining against the firm muscles and shoulders, left my mouth suddenly dry. A faint, scant memory of a green cloak behind him came to my vision and subconsciously, I reached for him.

 

But I brought it back.  
 _No, Eren. We promised._  
 _Slow._  
 _Take your time._

 

I clenched my hands by my sides and instead, walking to his side and my stomach growled loudly. "The beast inside is starving. You gonna feed it?," I jokingly asked with a loop-sided grin. Levi gave me a dead-panned stare. "You can feed it yourself. Here, brat." He gave me a plate with three large slices and I nearly moaned at the sight. "You are AMAZING! Thank you, sir!," I cooed and gingerly took the plate. Our fingers brushed slightly and a flurry of tingles raced down my spine. Ignoring it, looking so calm and cool, I walked back into the living room. Either I'm in Heaven or Hell. But somehow, I felt like I was fucked either way. We talked into the night til it was almost ten. Levi kept a neutral face pretty much the entire time. We had stopped talking about my nightmares and instead talked this and that kind of things. How long he had been a professor (nearly four years), what my favorite things were to do (play video games, occasionally play soccer, painting a lot), how he met Hanji (she apparently beat up one of his friends and they all became buddies after that), his family (no one in particular or special, an only child), my own (Mikasa was a pain in the ass but I loved her, my mother was wonderful and boisterous as me). Just plain, normal things. We devoured the entire pie and currently, I had a warm ball of two cats on my lap and was feeling sleepy. I yawned largely quite a few times, trying to fight sleep. But it was fruitless fight. The next thing I know, my eyelids fell heavy and slumber claimed me.

\--

 

_Scattered multi-colored dots swam in the blackness and sometimes, waves of faint gray. A dull sound like an ocean filled my ears. Then, I felt the water gaze across my feet, circling my ankles, and the salt- that tangy scent- wafed in my nose. Fine mist grazed my lashes and cheeks. The sun was warm, soothing like a blanket over my skin. I could taste the saltwater in my mouth. The cries of gulls echoed around me. With my dream-eyes, I opened them and was greeted with a endless vastness of blue-green and white sand. I filled my lungs with the sight and smell. I had dreamed of this for so long... oh so long. Turning to my right slightly, I see a person beside me. Slightly blurred, but I think I knew who it was. A short stature, but it was clearly him. I reached to him with my hand slowly. They shifted, lifting their eyes to my own and I wasn't drowning in a ocean. I was drowning in a silver pool that I welcomed. And our hands touched. Smooth and cool. Confident._

_I was home._

\--

 

Slowly, I opened up my eyes and was greeted with a dimly lit living room that wasn't mine. Furrowing my brow some, I shifted on the couch I sat on and realized a blanket had been draped over me. Blinking wildly I then sat up and remembered I was at Levi's. Sawney was across from me in the seat he had occupied not too long ago. I could hear Bean above my head, purring like a machine. I flopped back down, burying my head in one of the throw pillows. It smelled faintly of clean cotton. I snuggled deeper in it. I felt love-sick. Hopeless even, but determined. He hadn't woke me up to tell me to go home, nor force me out. He let me stay. Half of me wanted to get up and find his bedroom, to see if Levi was awake still or asleep. But in my mind it sounded creepy. So, I decided to stay where I was and soon enough, I had fallen back asleep. Purely content.

\--

 

The following morning came with the sound of a dishwasher humming low, coffee that had been brewed, and something crackling on a stove. Breakfast cooking. I laid still, soaking this all in. I carefully brought a hand up from under the blanket to rub the crust from my eyes and I cleaned my mouth as best as I could, hoping to God that I didn't drool. I sat up slowly, my back popping and I groaned some. As comfy as my makeshift bed was, staying in one position all night didn't do justice to my body. "Morning, brat," came a deep voice, still laden with sleep. It made my heart churn happily at the sound. Turning around, I saw Levi at the stove, looking at me from the corner of his eyes. "Uhm... morning... wow. Uhm. I totally didn't mean to pass out like that last night," I mumbled stupidly. He waved a free hand, dismissing me. "Don't worry about it. Want some bacon and pancakes?"

"I can't refuse that."

"Well come get it then. Nice hair by the way," he pointed at me with a spatula. I grimaced. "Sorry. My hair and I don't have a great relationship." He shrugged and moved to the table, picking out the slices of bacon and putting them on a plate. "Lucky you. Mine just tends to fall back in place. How do you take your coffee?" I picked myself up and maneuvered towards him, stretching. "Don't worry about that. Most people can't doctor my coffee. I like too much sugar and creamer." "I kinda figured that," he mused lightly. I grinned some and sat down, eying the food with relish. Not only was there bacon and thick, fluffy pancakes, but a bowl of mixed fruit and steaming eggs. He cooked like my mom. We settled in with our breakfast, silently eating, trying to wake up. I kept stealing glances at him when eating or drinking deeply from my coffee mug. He really didn't seem like a morning person at all. I mentally smiled to myself at that. I wanted to keep this scene locked away in my memory forever. However, the moment was ruined by the rapt knocking coming from his front door. Levi grumbled under his breath, pulling his body out of his chair. "Who the actual FUCK is at my house this god-damned early? I'm going to murder him in cold blood and then dance in his intestines." I whistled low, stunned. He REALLY wasn't a morning person! Once the door was flung open, a tall body filled it. I gaped at the man with the perfect, light blonde hair, the sharp tundra blue eyes and a physique that could only be described as Captain American.

My appetite vanished in a heartbeat and my throat turned dry like the Sahara desert.   
It wasn't the guy's appearance-

 

**_it was the way he was looking at him that made me sick._**  
  
It was very sincere, patient and so lovingly that I almost wanted to throw up. This guy was in LOVE with Levi practically! I've seen enough movies to know that look and it was SO there.

 

I sat there stupidly and felt like I was in an adult game all of a sudden and playing the dumb naive part of the young kid who didn't know any better. I grit my teeth and was about to stand when Steve Rogers spoke. "Well, good morning there, young man. I am sorry for intruding your breakfast with Levi, but do you mind if I borrow him for a moment?," came the smooth, collective voice that made me sit up straighter in my chair. Large eyes wide, I nodded mutely. Levi slammed the door behind the large man and stomped off towards his bedroom, who turned and waved a large hand at me. Lowering my gaze to my now cold pancakes smothered in butter and syrup, I felt sad.

 

_'Have all the time in the world you want with him... because obviously I'm just a kid...'_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ALL YOU THINK ABOUT ERWIN IS CHRIS-FRIGGIN'-EVANS AND DAT BODY.  
> UUUUNNNFFFF.  
> *fans self*  
> Am I going to have something happen between Levi and Erwin?  
> I don't even know. O_O  
> HANJI, RELEASE THE FANGIRLS!   
> *darts away*


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> breathe.  
> just breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hhhheeeeyyyyy guys.  
> :D  
> Update and WE ARE FINALLY GETTING SOMEWHERE.

"Tch. A FINE time for you to show up," I grumbled. A scant chuckle was my reply, followed with a, "It's not my fault that I was sent here." I turned to look at Erwin with my brow raised quizzically. "Yes, yes, she wanted me to. And I see why. He's the same as ever," the large man mused, tapping his chin with a thoughtful finger. I waved a hand. "Of course he is but that doesn't explain why Hanji sent you here at eight thirty in the morning. I'm not even awake. Hell, I couldn't sleep with that brat under my roof." Erwin Smith's blue eyes danced with mirth. "Ah, I see that my lovely fiancee was right." I gave him a bland look.

"It's  _weird_ calling her that... Hanji Zoe as a fiancee to the great and articulate Ewrin Smith, former Commander of the elite Survey Corps in another life time. She's still bat-shit crazy," I grumbled, sitting on the edge of my bed. "At least there are no Titans for her to experiment on. Just young minds. Speaking of which, how is our little shifter?," he asked polietly, standing beside me. I rubbed my mouth in slight annoyance. "Doesn't remember us," came my quiet response. Ewrin hummed a little. "Maybe... it's a good thing. We've all said it," the blonde man said with an even tone. "I know, I know. It's frustrating that I can't be like, "Hey, Eren, guess what?! You aren't crazy after all! Once upon a long, long, long, LONG ASS FUCKING TIME AGO, we were soldiers trying to save the last of humanity against big-ass Titans that liked to eat humans. Ooh, and guess what?! You were one of them! And I have been in love with you for the last 2,000 years. You're cured now of your dreams because it was ALL real!!!" What a GREAT story to tell him," I mocked at Ewrin with a grimacing smile.

Frowning, my best friend slumped his shoulders in silent defeat. "I see what you mean. You are not one for story-telling." I slapped a hand to my forehead, groaning. "Well, you've done your part for today by checking up on the little monster. He's real, alive, and daft. You're welcome. Give my regards to shitty glasses for me. I'll call her sometime this week," I sighed, leaning back on my hands and staring up at my ceiling. "I will. And Levi... don't be hard on him. Or yourself," Erwin murmured and patted me on the shoulder. "I'll see my way out."

"Gotcha," I mumbled and ignored him until I heard the door go _'click!'_ I bit the inside of my mouth, mulling over my thoughts. I had established a limit with Eren, but I didn't know how long I could hold back from him. Already the strings of Fate were tightening by each minute and second my thoughts consumed with him. Seeing the boy in the flesh instead of wasted years of being reborn was putting a strain on me in the short amount of time I had seen him. It was true... every time I came back, I didn't see him. This lifetime of finally seeing people that were apart of my squad and then some was surprising to my mind and heart, but he had his teeth firmly latched onto that troublesome muscle that controlled everything of the human body. I was still questioning why it didn't finally click with him that I was the person in his dreams. Even with the subtle hints of recalling him, especially mentioning his eyes and demeanor. It aggravated me to no end.

I stood up and made my way to the door and opened it, hoping to maintain my composure. I walked back into the kitchen with a mask fallen over my face but it shattered when I saw the empty space and half-eaten food. "Shit!," I hissed.

\--

**Eren POV**

\--

 

The walk home seemed longer than normal. It didn't help that the scene I just witnessed drove a knife into my stomach. It was sickening. I had hid in the bathroom when the two left me until I heard the front door close. Stealthily, I then moved to the backdoor of the house fast and ran out, far away from Levi and his "friend". I frowned deeper and shoved my hands further into my hoodie pockets. I'm sure Mom and Mikasa were worried about me. I completely forgot I had turned off my phone. When I had turned it back on, there were so many missed calls and texts asking where I was. Only Armin knew. I thought about who to talk to about what happened and the first person that came to mind was Hanji. I pressed further on until my house came to view. Mikasa was outside gathering leaves into a pile in the front lawn with Armin, believe it or not. Sighing, I rubbed my eyes and stopped walking.

I was going to get pummeled to death by her quickly or she would just give me the Glare of Death and not talk to me for a month. She did that when we were younger and I had ripped her teddy bear's arm off. I suffered a black eye and silence from it. Well... at least I can die knowing what love had been and whatnot... I walked towards them and stopped. "Hey, Eren! Morning!," cried Armin, waving a hand and smiling. Mikasa's back was to me but I saw her stiffen, the rake going still in her hands. I swallowed thickly in fear. "H-hey, guys," I said lamely with a weak smile. "Sorry, Mikasa. For not calling last night. I just got caught up-"

I don't remember what happened but the last thing I saw was a stick going towards my head and stars. Faintly I could hear Armin shrieking at my sister. I had blacked out for a moment then found myself on the ground, groaning in pain and tears in my eyes. "I deserved that!," I wheezed. "You damn right you did," came a voice above me in a cool monotone tone that promised more to come in pain. I looked up and saw Mikasa gripping her rake and her eyes glinting. "I said I was sorry!," I cried out, rubbing my head as I tried to sit up.

"A fine mess you made me go through. I had to lie to Mom and say that you had spent the night with Sasha," she said evenly. I stood up shakily with the help of Armin. "I owe you a big one, I know," I sighed, staring at the ground. "She believed me, thankfully. Now... do YOU care to explain why you were at a professor's house?," came the question. I whipped my head up fast with wide eyes and all the blood draining from my face. "Uuuhhh... that was my fault, Eren," Armin whispered. "She put me in a headlock..."

 

"And you caved?!!"

"IT REALLY HURT, MAN!"

 

Mikasa's eyebrows furrowed deeply and she pulled down her scarf, her frown matching. "You two are such babies. Why am I related and friends to whimps?"

"VIOLENCE NEVER SOLVES ANYTHING, MIKASA!," I yelled at her. Rolling her eyes, my sister continued to rake. "It helped me find out where you were. So... if you aren't going to tell me the truth, I'm just going to assume you used protection? God, I hope you did." Armin and I stilled, barely breathing. The blonde turned to me slowly with a shocked expression. "You had sex?!," he screeched in a stage-whisper. I pushed him away, stalking to the house in anger. "OH MY GOD, YOU TWO ARE IDIOTS AND NO! I DIDN'T! YOU HAPPY!?!!"

"Yes, I am, actually. At least you know about safe sex," came the chilly comeback. Armin started to howl with laughter when I slammed the door behind me. I fumed behind it, my chest heaving. "Bunch of crack jobs," I muttered. I felt my phone vibrate against my thigh. I withdrew it, looking at the screen then stilled. I forgot all about the two outside and focused on the tiny, black word before me. My hand started to shake. Did I want to see what he wrote? I pursed my lips then swiped the unlock button, Levi's name vanishing to show me his text:

_'Brat, where did you go?'_

In a flash, I replied with a steady grasp.

_'Home. Where else?'_

_'Why did you leave like that? Without telling me?'_

_'Obviously you had company and I didn't want to intrude. Tell Captain America he's lucky,'_ I bitterly wrote out then locked my phone up. All I wanted was to shower and crawl back into bed. Thank God it was Sunday. Trekking through the house, I noticed Mom wasn't home. She must have had a morning shift today. I missed her a lot. I maneuvered around the house for the next hour like a ghost, not really seeing or feeling anything. The memory of that big blonde behemoth made my heart jerk oddly and that awful sadness creep up on me.It was heavy. I had spent a good thirty minutes in the shower, burning a hole into the floor with the hot water cascading all around me. I was trying to get the weight off of me but it didn't do any good.

Once out and safely in my room, away from Mikasa and Armin (I love them, don't get me wrong but I needed to sort myself out), I wrapped all of my blankets around me and became a burrito against the rest of the world. Is this what a one-sided love feels like? I glanced at my phone that sat charging beside my bed. It alerted me that I had one text from Levi. Only one. Sighing, I decided against reading it because I know it would only wreck me emotionally.

 

When did I become such a sap?

 

I rolled over onto my side and closed out the world, falling into darkness.

\--

**Two weeks later...**

\--

 

"Dude, you look like shit," came the concerned, or little thereof, from Jean at school. Christmas break was upon us and as we rolled out of the prison for the next two weeks, I yawned largely then slugged him in the arm. He yowled at the pain and I faintly grinned. "That's for being noisy," I retorted. "I'm being concerned, dickwad. Seriously, though. You look like an extra on "The Walking Dead". Anything you wanna talk about?," Jean offered, his hazel eyes worried. I shifted my book bag strap as we walked slowly into town. I hadn't spoken about Levi to anyone... why would I now? I gnawed on my raw bottom lip and turned my tired eyes to the sky. "Nah... not really. It was just the finals, man. They kinda kicked my ass," I lied smoothly to him. Inwardly, I was punching myself.

Jean was being nice for once. Why did I have to do that? "You're a shitty liar. Your ears are turning red, dude."

 

"Fuck."

"... is it that Levi guy? The one you were mooning for?"

Glare.

"What?!! I'm asking because it's totally making you all dead-lookin' and shit. I don't want to be eaten by you. Now your SISTER on the other hand-"

 

I shoved him away from me, scowling. "That was a bad move," I grounded out. Jean laughed some and we then fell silent, walking side my side. I saw the cheery awning of Cafe Maria and instantly, I wanted coffee more than anything. Only Coke settled my stomach now these days. And also kept me awake. The nightmares returned at full force and I lost sleep. It didn't help that each day felt like a pressured weight on his chest. "Why don't you go talk to him? Call, text, do SOMETHING," Jean said suddenly. I cast a look at him then felt my jaw drop. Jean was pissed at me. His eyes were forward but narrowed, his face set with the nastiest frown. "I did the same with Marco one time... and it 'bout killed me. Eren, you've got to get over it and just TALK to Levi. For all our sakes," he hissed out, turning his head to me fast with a fierce determination. I blanched at him, stopping in my tracks and my stomach churned. "Wait. All of you guys are worried? About me?," I asked breathlessly. Jean rolled his eyes as he rolled to a stop beside me. "Duh, ass-clown. Why not? You're our friend. We all care. Don't think that the world revolves around you, Jager. Now, you're gonna go home, clean up, and if you don't text him, then _go to him"!"_ We both sized each other up until I sniffed a little. "I can't. There's no need for me too... he-he says I'm too young. That it's wrong. All wrong. I don't belong in his world as someone-"

"Eren." The soft voice reached my ears. It was from Jean who almost looked wounded as I did. "For fuck's sake, man, just GO!!!"

\--

I didn't go to his apartment. But instead, I sat in my bed later that night, curled up by the head board and holding my phone precariously in my hands. My thumbs hovered over the keypad to text Levi. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes briefly and let out the air slowly. I gathered what little courage I had and started out typing. The rain that had fallen during dinner hadn't let up, but it was slow and steady, making everyone drowsy in the household. I did manage to eat a little salad and chicken to please Mom and Mikasa. My stomach was in a knot but I think I wrote out what I wanted to. I read over it carefully:

 

_Hey._

_I know it's been a long minute since last we talked. I just didn't know what was going on._   
_Still don't, but I want to apologize for just leaving the house like I did. I... just... miss you. A lot._   
_I don't know if i can just be friends. it hurts too much. And you probably don't want to have anything to do with me, but i don't want to give up on you._   
_Give me a chance, Levi._   
_I'm yours._

 

Biting down hard on my bottom lip, I pressed the "Send" button and placed my phone face down into the coverlet, staring ahead of me in a blank state of mind. Oooohhhh crap. What did I do? WHAT THE HELL DID I DO? Levi is probably gonna think I'm a little brat for sending that stupid text!!! I moaned, burying my face into my pillow and rolling around on the bed. Stupid, stupid, STUPID.

 

**_'Brrrr, brrrr, brrrr!'_ **

 

I yelped a little and leaned up, hair disheveled. Fuck. He replied?! What if it was Jean instead? Or Armin? Yeah... that sounded more legit. It was probably one of those two. I nodded inwardly to myself and picked up my phone, flipping it over and then my heart fell into my stomach. Across the screen was the one name I did not want to see. Tears pin-pricked at my eyes as my lungs struggled for air. I didn't want to read what it had to say... I couldn't... but I had to. It needed to be done. I swiped carefully along the screen and then sat very still for what seemed like eternity.   
No. It couldn't be right.   
No...

But-

 

 

 

_"Come home, brat."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hanji demands nudes for me write faster.  
> Nudes of our two nerdlords.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I tried to push you away  
> but you keep coming back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha. I'm trash. Literally. TRASH. Apologies for the late late SUPER LATE chapter. I had three employees quit on me so the work load has tripled for me and my other co-workers. Phack.  
> Enjoy some fluff.  
> *snuggles up with a Levi plushie*

I stood by my large window while watching the rain, my phone dangling in my hand as I had sent the text that sealed the deal. I was a weak man in this life. A man who was just tired from running. Seeking. Hoping. I needed Eren, even if he didn't remember me and I did. My tea had gotten cold and my two cats were somewhere sulking. I haven't paid much attention to them since that Sunday morning when Eren fled the scene and left me confused and hurt by his actions. Little bastard. Two weeks he made go mental. The last couple of days I had to put in as sick days from the university. I couldn't sleep or do anything right. I ignored all calls from Erwin, Hanji, Petra, and the others. Tonight was the ultimate final straw when the boy sent me the text.

 

I thought about it long and hard before I figured out what I wanted to tell him. Deep down, I KNEW what really needed to be said. No means no, you are ungrateful, impulsive, and a danger to my health. He made me angry and nasty towards others- more than usual. The rain fell harder, but it was soothing against my ears. It was like that day back in the past... when Eren finally came to me. I smiled faintly at the memory. It had been before the capture of the Female Titan. Before I lost my squad. We were stationed at the castle after Jaeger's trial. We had been there for over three months, learning on how to control his Shifter powers but with some to no avail. Poor Hanji was having a field trip with it all. She had worked with him particularly hard that day. During dinner, he sat to himself off in a corner, still feeling not like he was one of the group. At that time, they didn't know how to treat him, save Petra. Ever the kind, loving girl she was. I stared at him from over my cup, trying to figure him out. He was a really good kid. His heart was genuine and true. He was confused about being a Shifter like the rest of us.

 

All he needed was a good friend.

 

So, with careful ease after dinner in the kitchen, I approached him quietly as his back was to me. He was washing dishes, head bent slightly and shoulders slumped. I'm not an uncaring man when it came to someone as dedicated to something like Eren was. The first time I met him with Ewrin, locked away in the jail cell, his passion for fighting and killing off all the Titans reminded me of how I was back in the Underground. But there was something more to him. More... human, dare I say. I had leaned forward slightly, mouth nearly brushing against his ear and murmured for him to meet me in my room later when done. And to be thoroughly clean. I emphasized greatly on that. I watched with amusement as heat colored his neck and ears.

 

Later on, when he did come to me, we practically jumped each other. Back then, when it came to Humanity's Last Hope and I The Strongest, I allowed my real self to come for with Eren. I could relax and breathe easily. Especially when making love. That night, when we first touched each other, we came apart with sweat, raking nails, moans and even tears, we didn't fall apart at the seams. We just... BECAME one. We held on to one another all through the night. It was one of my favorite memories.

 

"Plus, why was it always raining when the brat would come to find me or I him?," I pondered that out loud to myself. I shook myself out of my memories and glanced at the phone. Nothing on my end. I sighed deeply, rubbed my face tiredly and pressed my forehead against the window pane. I was just ready to give up again. I shouldn't have-

 

_Bzz, bzz, bzz!_

 

You know that moment when you dive in, head first, into open water? And it's freezing? It seizes your lungs, makes all senses deafen and your body goes into this motion of shock. Your voice catches in your throat, the heart stutters and your blood rushes so fast that you can't remember how to function. That's how I felt when I heard that damn intercom buzzer. Dumbly, I maneuvered to the door and pressed the button hard. I dared to breathe, as if this was a dream. "Hello?," I asked lowly. There was panting on the other line.

 

"Levi..."

"I swear you if you aren't up here in less than two minutes I'll personally kick your ass back home."

 

I heard a clatter of stumbling feet and allowed a smile to grace my face. My hands shook as well as my knees. FINALLY. Just... finally. I brushed my clothes, wiped the sweat that formed in my palms on my pants and took a deep breath. A rapt and urgent knock came on my door. It felt like slow motion when I went to open it. When I did, the boy was revealed to me, soaking wet and his face was pink. I stared at the rain water dripping on my mat and bit back the bark of laughter. "Come in, loser. Let me get you some towels," I said, moving off to the side. Eren stood there instead, staring at me. His eyes were positively glowing like the ocean at daytime. I bit the inside of my mouth. The silence was heavy, damn near palpable. His hands were clenched at his sides. I knew this look from anywhere. He was about to rant a tangent. "Eren, what's wrong?," I asked lightly. "The blonde. Is he your boyfriend?," he questioned fast, snapping.

 

I blinked. "Ewrin? What?! God, no...! He's engaged!!! To Hanji!" Eren's face went from pissed to shocked. "What?!," he yelped. I then did laugh at that. "Yeah, you idiot. Happily together for four years. They're planning on getting married in the spring." He sagged against my door frame. "Wow. That is... wow. Did NOT see that coming. It was just the _"look"_ he gave you though-"

 

"After being friends for so long, Ewrin gives us all that look. Petra, Auror, Mike- it's so normal that we tend to ignore it. It's worse around the shitty-glasses."

The brunette giggled some then shuffled in, shaking his head like a dog. "Oy! Wait here-"

 

"Nope." I raised a brow. "Excuse me?" He shot me a blinding grin of white teeth and moved forward, grabbing my head gently and slotted his mouth against my own. My body reacted with his, singing. He tasted like rain water and mint. Everything I had longed for this boy came rushing at full speed ahead and I didn't stop. I growled against his lips and shoved us against the nearby wall, my fingers latching into his thick hair and tilting his wet head further down to me, nipping at his full bottom lip. Eren groaned loudly, the sound hitting my cock hard. I shoved my tongue inside his moist cavern and wrapped it eagerly around his own. Eren's hands latched onto my hips and grounded them against his own. I could feel him through the soaking material of his khakis. He wanted this just as much as I did. I kissed him harder, pulling at the strand of hair and pulled back slowly, licking at his mouth like a cat would. "Eren, Eren, Eren...," I whispered against his swollen lips. He was panting hard with closed eyes. His whole face was slack with passion and want. I was so close I could count his lashes, some with blonde in it. There was a scant dusting of freckles on his nose and a faded scar across his forehead.

 

I wanted him, not just physically. I kissed the side of his mouth gently. "Breathe, Eren. Remember to breathe," I said quietly. "I am... but I... Levi..." Slowly, those large opulent orbs opened and his pupils were blown, a dark shade of forest green. He stared down at me, searching my face and his hands left my hips, slowly traveling over my stomach upwards til they were around my neck, his thumbs caressing under my jaw. I nearly purred at the sensation. It was one of my spots. "Why do I remember doing this? Why do you stand out? Have we... Levi... are we real? Am I?," he whispered brokenly, shaking visibly. I swallowed thickly. Something was going to crack. He was on the crest of recalling EVERYTHING.

 

"... we are real. Every second. Every minute, hour, day, month, year... and century... Eren-"

**_Dare I?_ **

"I've been waiting for you for two thousand years. I can't go another waiting without hurting," I confessed, blinking rapidly. Something wet fell down my cheek until I realized I was crying. Eren lifted a hand and wiped it away, bringing his finger to his mouth to taste my tears. He dropped it and swooped down for another kiss, but this was slow, searching, and hot. He was so tender that it nearly broke my heart. My arms went around his torso, clinging to his wet jacket. I didn't even care if I got soaked. Eren was in my arms and I in his. His tongue mapped out my mouth, twirling like a delicate ballerina. I matched his movement carefully, allowing the wave of euphoria to sweep along me. He broke away to plant more kisses along my chin and up to my cheeks, nose and forehead. He rested them against my temple and spoke so low, confident, and sweetly; "I think I have been too. And now I know why I blocked out everything. I was waiting for you.

 

My Corporal."

 

My throat seized up. The tears stopped and my heart thudded harshly against my ears. "I was in the Survey Corps, serving with you. The man I was to follow forever. Even beyond the Titans and the Walls. Corporal, I'm sorry I've kept you waiting. But I'm home now," he choked thickly. We clung to each other for what seemed like an eternity, but it was a moment I wanted to last. I untangled myself from him and started taking off his coat. "Let me dry you off at least," I said, looking up at his face with a small smile. Eren mirrored my own and nodded. We walked into my bedroom. I placed his coat to the side on a chair and turned the light on in the bathroom. "Strip down and wait here." Eren gulped slightly. "Y-you sure?" I rolled my eyes. "We just made out. It's not like I haven't seen your body before."

 

"But that was back then...!," he whined. I quirked an eyebrow at him again. "And nothing's changed. But let's keep talking." I went into the bathroom, grabbing a dark blue towel. "What made you remember?," I asked aloud. "... the kiss. It didn't happen from the first one, but it felt familiar. But honestly, it was you crying. You did that the first night we spent together and I did too. I licked them from your cheek though. It was something so minute but... it came back. Not the bad stuff. It was all of you," came the reply from my room. I walked back in, clutching the towel against my chest. The sight of his lean, tanned, teenage body standing in my room made my world spin. He was everything I imagined. Clad only in his boxers, Eren looked at me expectantly and spun around like a idiotic dancer. "Am I pretty?," he cackled. I threw the towel at his head. "Brat. Dry off properly. So. You remember everything, eh?"

 

Eren's dazzling eyes met mine underneath the cloth. "I do. Like... it probably won't hit me til later but once we started, ya know... kissing... there was this fuzzy feeling in the back of my head and once you cried, everything important to me started out like a film reel. How I am keeping my composure is REALLY beyond me," Eren chuckled nervously, taking down the towel and clutching it in his hands. "I'm curious of this as well. Do you need a hug or something?," I offered jokingly. Color seeped into his cheeks as he stared at me. "Really? I can have one?," he damn-near whispered. My face softened at the sight and smoothly, I walked over to the teen and wrapped my arms around his shoulders, burying my face into his neck. "You'll never have to ask me that again, Eren. It's okay now," I breathed into his skin, breathing in all of his scent. Timid hands went around my waist, perching there as if not knowing what to do. "Is this fine?," Eren asked with a hitch in his voice. "Just hug me, idiot," I sighed.

 

Strong arms then circled me completely and I melted into the embrace. This was the only person that I wanted to do this to me. No one else. His nose found a home in my hair, sighing. His breath tickled my ear slightly. "I like this a lot, Levi," he murmured. I kissed the strain of muscle along his neck once and nodded. "I do too. Are you hungry or anything? Thirsty?" A low chuckle vibrated against my head and those little shitty, pesky hands found purchase on my hips, smoothing them. "I am for you... both. I'm starving, Levi," Eren purred. My heart leaped as well as my dick. I clicked my tongue in irritation and yanked his head back with my hand, a hiss of air escaping his clenched teeth. Good. I hope it hurt him. "Shit-stain, do you even know how sex works?," I deadpanned at him with a raised brow. He pouted at me with full lips and rounded ocean eyes that made my knees want to knock together at how incredibly debauched Eren looked right now. "I know the gist of it! Just because I haven't gone all the way doesn't mean I don't know what I'm doing! My blow-jobs are really good-"

 

I smacked a hand over his mouth and frowned deeply. My dick, however, was VERY INTRIGUED at the idea of those perfect cherry lips around me, sucking and pulling, moaning like a- LEVI, STOP. "Eren... I'm sure you are VERY good at it, but I need a moment to collect myself before anything else happens tonight." The boy's pouting face brightened some. God, he reminded me of a puppy, like how he used to be. I allowed a small smile to cross my features and leaned up some, kissing the tip of his nose. "Let's change into comfortable clothes and just... cuddle. I just want to hold you. I've been wanting to for so long," I murmured against his skin. Inhaling a shaky breath, the brat kissed the palm of my hand still covering his mouth lightly and nodded, his eyes hooded but still gleaming like aquamarine stones. Crap. He really is going to be the death of me.

\--

 

Thirty minutes later, both sitting on the couch and pressed so close together, we just sat there soaking up each other. I stared at our entwined hands, his bronze color contrasting off of my inhumanely paleness. My thumb stroked his inner wrist bone carefully. "So I take it all the good memories came back first," I spoke quietly. I felt Eren's jaw nod against the top of my head. "It's still weird. I FEEL the same... just... my mind seems to be in another place too. But now, it's all quiet. And I can relax. Hell, probably even sleep better," he laughed some. I looked up at him. "You haven't been sleeping?"  
  
"Well, sometimes. The nightmares happened again when I first saw you, but I've learned to ignore them for the most part. But there are ones that... well... I really can't ignore...," Eren trailed off, glancing down at our hands. I sat further up and grasped the shirt fabric around his neck, pulling him down more towards me so that we were eye to eye.

 

"Eren. I'm not dead. I won't die. No matter what. I'm here. Right now, it's just me and you. So don't be scared. Please?," I pleaded some, touching his chin with my free hand. He nodded solemnly at me then paused, searching my face as if he was trying to say something. "Levi. I-I... well... uhm. D'you think that we can... can you kiss me again? Please?" His voice was so tiny and minuscule. "I really, really, want to. Like it's driving me insane. Please don't say no," Eren whimpered. I groaned aloud, rubbing my forehead. "Oh you idiot, did you just ask me that question?," I asked mildly, but I was smiling on the inside. Definitely a puppy.

 

A pair of lips mouthed at my jaw lightly, under my hand, and teasingly slid upward. "I can't help it. All I want to do is kiss you," he murmured against my skin. I raised my hand up and stared at the large-eyed boy who paused what he was doing to look up at me. Silently, I brought my hand down and cupped his cheek. He was oh-so warm. "Hey... don't you think we need to ease up on that? Kissing leads to sex, which is something you clearly have no expertise in yet, little boy," I smirked at him, mustering as much sexual prowess I could possess. I watched Eren swallow, his Adam's apple bobbing slightly. The scant color of red danced across his face and ears. "S-so??! Why don't you really want to kiss me?! Am I bad? Do you not like me anymore?," Eren snapped. I rolled my eyes at his childish antics.

 

Fast, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled the boy into my body, snuggling further into his hot body heat. "No. It's nothing like that. Just take the time to enjoy this. To enjoy US. So impatient," I sighed, running a free hand through his rat's nest of brown hair. I felt his mumble and groan against my chest, his arms slowly going around my waist. "Sorry, kiddo. Not tonight. But I'll let you sleep over."

 

"REALLY??!!!," Eren exclaimed loudly, head coming up and a large, stupid grin on his face. The corners of my mouth twitched and I patted him on top of his head then thumped his forehead. "Do no funny business and I may let you stay again for breakfast. Sans Erwin." Eren snuggled into my stomach, making happy noises. We laid there for another hour or so, the television nothing but white noise. We weren't watching it, just laying there and being God-awful romantic that it actually didn't make me want to puke. I had my boy back. I sighed a little and yawned largely. "Okay, Eren. It's bed time. I'm old and need proper sleep." I heard him mirror my own yawn and we both sat up, scratching heads and popping backs. Then, caught off guard, I was swooped up into sturdy arms. "What the hell?!," I yelled. Eren grinned at me cheekily. "What? I can't carry my former commanding officer to bed? I owe you something for being late, don't I?"

 

"Oh... whatever. Let's go to bed. And don't knock me into any walls!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS WAS PURE TORTURE TO WRITE BECAUSE I HAD TO HOLD BACK THE SEX.  
> It was hard.  
> > 3 >
> 
> Look forward to the next one.  
> Lady Gaga was the inspiration a la "SEXX Dreams".  
> Heichou for Prez 2016


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wanted me so here I am.  
> Fluffy goodness to rot your teeth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. *rubs face* After MANY MANY weeks of FINALLY getting a decent-sized crew for my store, we are back in business and I have time now to actually write. I am SO sorry, guys. I know a lot of you were wanting this chapter to be Oh-So-Smutty, but be patient... tis coming. I swear. In the meantime, enjoy some Hanji and Erwin times and then our two Nerdlords towards the end.

Hanji let out a large sigh, rubbing her tired face and then groaned. Promptly, she banged it down on her desk, ruffling the papers that were already scattered on the oak surface. "I am worried about our Ravioli," she said, voice muffled. Faintly she heard her fiancee in the kitchen, cooking up something with the occassional clanking of pots. "Who isn't? I will admit it, I am too. Come in here and keep me company. You've been in the study for over four hours, Hanji," Ewrin's smooth and concerned voice floated to her. She smiled softly to herself and got up, cracking her neck in the process. "Yyyyeeeppp... when you are in one position for so long, things start hurting. A little break won't kill me. What are we having for din-din?," the brunette asked, making her way into the light and airy kitchen. "Nothing really special. More like a potluck. We haven't had time to do proper shopping- er, well, you don't ever eat until the early hours of the morning...," Ewrin griped some, cocking his ice blue eyes to the tall woman. Hanji gave him a grin.

 

"Sorry, love. The hospital ward has been kinda busy for me. Plus, I've got two kids to look over." "Oh, I didn't know I was a father so soon..." "BWAHAHAHAHA!!! They're big babies! Ah, I wish they'd go ahead and get together. This is stressin' me out- ooh! Garlic bread!," Hanji practically drooled, her fingers itching to the bread before her, cooling down on the counter top on a wire rack. Erwin instead hauled her around the waist, manuevering the doctor away. "No way, missy. That's with the meal." Hanji pouted up at him with wide chocolate brown eyes and a poked out bottom lip. "Nya, you're no fun! Why am I marrying you again?" Erwin's handsome face pondered as he held her closer to his chest. "Because I am ridiculously charming, sexy, smart and happen to tolerate your science projects so late at night?," he mused, eyes to the ceiling. Hanji laughed heartily and turned in his strong arms, wrapping her own around his neck. "No one else will! Alas, you have to raise our children to be right too. You know they both have temper problems~!," she sing-songed into his collarbone, inhaling his smell. It held the faint trace of his Channel Blue and the spices from the soup currently simmering on the stove.

 

"Again with the children. Eren and Levi can figure this out on their own. I don't want to get involved. Eren already thinks I'm moving in for the kill on Levi," the blonde sighed, hugging Hanji tighter, burying his face in the mop of her ponytail. Hanji hummed and pulled away, glasses glinting. "Jealousy was never a good color on him. But as a concerned former Squad Leader and doctor of his, I can't help it. Hmmm... now that I think about it... why ARE you marrying me for real?," Hanji teased, tongue in-between her white teeth as she looked up at the man. Erwin raised a thick brow, a smile playing on his lips. "Because even before our memories came back, I liked you the moment you beat me up in elementary school. I knew for years Molbit had a thing for you, but honestly, you are a brilliant and madwoman who I can't seem to get out of my head? Diagnosis, Dr. Zoe?," he asked, pressing his forehead against hers. Their height wasn't that off, with Hanji being near 5'9 to his nearly six foot frame.

 

"Puppy love. But I'm also REALLY good in bed."

"Point taken there too, sweetums." Hanji giggled and pressed a kiss against his mouth. "Thank you, Commander. Now, feed me please and then we can watch some quality t.v. together and maybe some nookie here later."

\--

 

It really was a strange coincidence that Hanji Zoe and Erwin Smith even dated. Completely on two opposite sides of the spectrum, personality and brains, they kind of meshed together in a odd dance, like a gumbo of mixed flavors of spicy and sweet. Growing up they were different with Hanji always in libraries and science labs and Erwin on the field with sports and his surprisingly good smarts with economics. He had a brief stint with the military, so far as to ranking Master Sergeant in the Marine Corps while Hanji became the youngest child psychiatrist in the local children's ward of the hospital of Trost. Yet they never stopped talking with each other, whether through phone, Skype, Facebook or the occasional face to face encounters. The day Hanji received all her memories of her past life, Erwin still had no clue who he was back then. It happened one evening when he had decided to retire from the Corps and settle back home, working in a business office he owned, working late that night. Hanji and Levi surprised him with dinner at a restaurant. They all got very toasty with their beer and accidentally, Levi let the word "Commander" slip when the blonde man said something snide that was meant to be taken with humor. Levi's face darkened and he leered over his beer mug at him. "You always did that shit when someone didn't QUITE meet with you all the way, 'Commander' Smith," he drawled out, inhaling the golden drink.

 

Hanji paused, eyes wide and jerked her head to see Erwin's pale face, the grip on his fork was tight, knuckles white. Levi then realized his mistake at the sudden silence and drew back like a wounded dog. "Wh-what... what did you call me?," Erwin demanded quietly, his eyes hooded. Levi looked down at his empty plate and then to the brunette beside him. "Well, shit," was all he could say. Hanji turned her full attention to Erwin then, her buzz dying quickly. "He... he didn't mean it-"

 

"Like horse shit he did. I'm going outside," Erwin then said calmly, wiping his mouth with a napkin and stood stiffly, walking to the entrance with his shoulders tense. Hanji chewed on her lip, worrying it to death. "I'll go talk with him," she whispered, following him. Once outside, the humid air didn't help with the sour mood that was hovering over Erwin. "... how long?"

"Eh?"

"How long have you've known, Zoe?"

"I don't like it when you use my last name like that. Lose the tone," she snapped some, stopping behind him. In the lamplight of the streets, he turned to face her with an unreadable expression. "Forgive me. Hanji... what just happened?," he asked a bit hoarsely, his forehead furrowed. Hanji inhaled deeply and sighed, taking off her glasses to rub the bridge of her nose. "Well... let me ask you this... what happened to YOU when Levi said that word?"

 

"I guess... it was like a kick-start... you know when you pull the hammer back on a gun and it clicks when you release it. It felt like that. My world stopped and all I saw before me was you two in green cloaks and these... harnesses... Hanji- what was that?" The sound of his voice was strained and old-sounding, something she had never heard him do in this life. It wasn't a pleasant sound. It rattled her. She looked at him with sympathetic eyes and took his hand, holding it tight. "It's going to be a long night. Come back inside, finish your beer and meal, and we'll all go to my house to discuss it." And so they did into the long wee hours of the night with more beer to drink. Every memory and moment they all had together came forth until around five in the morning, they all collapsed in the living room and rose the following afternoon slightly hung over but at ease. The big three were together once more. After the episode, Hanji and Erwin's talks and get-togethers became more frequent until one night, when he was over, they were talking about their day and some other scant recollections of the Survey Corps when Erwin leaned forward so suddenly and kissed her full on the mouth. Hanji was shocked, scared, and a bit curious at his action. Pulling away with her hands on his shoulders, Hanji stared at him bewildered.

 

"What the hell was that for?," she panted some, eyes wide and her cheeks flushed. Erwin seemed embarrassed but firm. "I'm not sure. I just really wanted to do that for a long time," he murmured low, his eyes the color of dark sapphire. It made Hanji's heart flutter. "Oh. I see..." "Ever since I met you when we were little. I wanted to be beside you." Hanji let her guard down that night when he said it. None of his past memories were involved. It was all in the here and now and it made her heart swell that this man loved her in this life for who she WAS, not back then. They made love into the night and soon, almost a year later, he had proposed to her. And gladly, she accepted it. She had found her happiness and Erwin with his.

\--

 

Laying her head on his shoulder, hands entwined as they watched "Bones", she couldn't help but feel sorry for her Corporal. She wanted Levi to be happy like she was. And Eren. They deserved it, more than any person on the planet. Their second chance in life to be together was in full play, like a chessboard. Frowning a little, she shifted and looked up at the profile of the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with, watching him. Erwin felt her gaze and mirrored it back, both staring intently at one another. "What's my brilliant woman thinking?," he asked softly, squeezing her hand. Her chest ached at how tender Erwin sounded but also the sadness of her best friend and her once patient. "In two thousand years, I would have never dreamed this. I just want all of us... to be happy... can't they get that too? It makes me so sad that it hurts. Physically. I hate it!," she hissed, ducking her head down some. A finger found its way under her chin and raised it. Erwin started, seeing tears brimming in her large eyes. "Hey hey now... don't cry, Hanji." He scooped her in a large embrace, her head finding home in the crook of his neck. "It will happen. I promise. There's just a lot for them to deal with on their plates. Not everyone can handle what we have, especially someone as young as Eren. He's fifteen, new to the world and scared as well. Levi is too. We all know what happened... and we can only be there to help them as much as we possibly can. The rest is up to them," he said oh-so softly.

 

Hanji nodded against his neck, sniffling a little bit. "I know. I just care for them so much." Erwin lifted her head in his large warm hands, searching her face with remorseful eyes. "You always did. That's one of the things I do love about you. Never stopped caring for anyone, no matter who or what they were. My mad, wonderful, beautiful love," he said soothingly, brushing back some of her hair. "Give them time. It will be worth it." Hanji nodded and closed her eyes, a stray tear scattering down her cheek. A thumb brushed it away carefully and soon, a pair of soft lips found hers and tenderly kissed her that she felt it deep within her bones. How lucky Hanji was. And yet, she prayed that the other two would feel this.

\--

_**the following morning at the apartment...** _

\--

 

Sunlight flooded the bedroom. Last nights rainstorm had pushed through to bring the sun and a clear light blue sky of the morning. The beams danced along Levi's sleeping face and he felt the warmth soaking into his skin. Muttering to himself, the man rolled over, an arm flinging out to find the opposite side empty and cold on the sheets. This caused Levi's eyes to open fast. He sat up dizzily, still drunk with sleep. He cleared his mouth and rubbed his eyes, scanning the room. There was no Eren in sight. Frowning, he pulled back the blankets and stood up, proceeding to make his way out of his room. He stopped once seeing Bean and Sawney on the back of the couch, their catty gaze upon the boy that was before the large window. The curtains had been pushed back, the morning air and sun seeping in the living room. Levi saw Eren standing there, hands by his sides, that familiar mop of brown hair sticking up. His borrowed clothes still clung to him. The silence was staggering in that wide room. Something, though, seemed off. The air was stagnant with a feeling that made Levi's stomach churn. He moved forward, as to speak up, but Eren bet him to it.

 

"I am in a world... free of no walls... and Titans... right, Corporal? This isn't a dream. Is it?," came the small voice that shot through Levi's heart like a burning arrow.

 

The man paused then said quietly, "Yes, Eren. It's all real."

 

"Are you real too? I'm not dreaming. You are right behind me. Alive. And I am alive. And we are together right now... looking at the same blue sky. I'm not dreaming," he repeated with a broken tilt. Levi moved fast behind him and touched his head, threading his fingers in the strands carefully. His heart was thudding loudly in his ears. "You aren't. I'm right here. Look at me," he commanded somberly. The teen did so slowly, his Carribean eyes faraway, pink and gleaming. He had been crying for God knew how long, the tracks visible on his cheeks. Eren's pupils focused on the shorter male and his mouth tightened. "You're Levi Ackerman... you're my Corporal... and also my- my...," he stammered, eyes filling up with tears. Levi couldn't take it. He brought the boy's head down against his chest, wrapping his arms around Eren's shoulders and held him there. "Say it. It's okay. You can say it now," he said fiercely. Hands wove behind his strong back and clutched at his shirt. "I can hear your heart. It's beating so fast... like a bird's... oh. Levi. You're my lover. I've been missing my lover. Do you know how long I've cried out?! Calling your name?!!," he sobbed freely.

 

Levi's own eyes smartened with unshed tears and he pulled back Eren's head, brushing back his bangs to see the red face and streaming tears. His face was contorted with silent, wracking sobs. His whole body was taunt like a bow's, quaking. "Just as long as I've been calling yours in my dreams. But now, we aren't. Because we are together right here," Levi whispered, thumbing under the large eyes to wipe away at the wetness. Eren nodded and swallowed thickly. He straightened up and wiped his face with his arm, shuddering a breath, calmly collecting himself. Then, he brought it down, only to pick up Levi in the tightest hug known to mankind. Levi took it fully, savoring feeling the body against his that he missed for so long.

 

"My brat. Welcome home," he said against Eren's temple. "I'm home now," came the muffled response. Levi smiled truly and planted kisses along the crown of his head. Eren tilted his head back with his eyelids closed, feeling the kisses move along his brown and soaked lashes and cheeks, finally to land on his raw lips. Levi drank him in deeply, holding on tight. They were the kind of butterfly kisses that made the blood sing and heart yearn for more, but easily content. There was no tonuge involved, just sweet touches. Eren sighed against Levi's lips and kissed him back just as sweetly. "I'm glad you're back. Do you know how lonely it's been without having to chase around a hot-headed shit?," Levi asked teasingly, pulling away to smirk at the boy. Eren blushed but grinned some. "Boring probably. I just... still can't believe... it's all real. We did all those things together. Fighting, arguing, and... just being together...," he trailed off, staring at the pale man with wonder. Like he found a glittering treasure.

 

"And somewhere up there, a higher being thought it funny to bring us back to see what would happen. Remind me to thank whoever it was," Levi muttered. Eren gave a watery laugh and placed Levi down, not letting go. "Duely noted. Man. Last night was rough. I didn't sleep. I kept replaying over and over my whole other life. It was really bad," he sighed tiredly, sagging somewhat. Levi pursed his lips some and looked at the clock. It was only eight thirty in the morning and Sunday. No where to go or do. He tugged on Eren's ear some. "Then let's go back to sleep. I could use a day of not doing anything and to catch up on sleep. Especially if you are here." The boy flushed and nodded some. "Me too," he said in a timid voice. Levi took his hand, kissed the palm, and entwined his fingers around Eren's, squeezing some. "Then back to bed it is."

\--

 

They both slept until three that afternoon, tangled up in their own limbs and arms. Eren woke first, blinking slowly to gain his sight back and then stared at the slumbering face of Levi. To the last detail, he was the same as he was two thousand years ago. Eren licked his lips nervously. They hadn't even done anything and his body was resonating to the smaller man laid out before him. It was like a cruel test. But instead, the teen just stared in amazement. He lifted a hand to place on Levi's cheek lightly, tracing the high cheekbones. His hair was still the silky texture and black as the night's, always falling back into place. Eren always loved playing with the man's hair. A small trigger played in his mind of one evening at the castle, after the first night they made love, of just running his fingers through it. It calmed Levi a lot, making him at ease after grueling hours of paperwork and light scouting. Eren always made sure his hands were clean and taken care of when he stroked his lover's hair. One time he swore Levi made a sound akin to a purr. Taking care of his caretaker was always a top priority of Eren's that he accepted fully. Smiling at the memory, the boy ducked his head down some and carefully kissed Levi's chin, pulling away. He slowly got out of the bed and made his way into the bathroom.

 

_'A shower,'_ he thought after relieving himself, _'will do me good.'_ After a moment, he was under the scalding hot water and sighed, tilting his head back to allow the water to run over him. _'He has great water pressure.'_ He looked around for some body wash and began scrubbing himself with it, inhaling. This is what Levi used. Cucumber melon and mint. Good combo. Humming some, he washed his hair with some borrowed shampoo and rinsed off, straying under the spray a little bit longer. In his mind, he pieced everything that happened within the near thirty two hours and slowly tried to gain his sanity together. It was  a lot, but with the dreams he had since little helped. So he wasn't crazy. Hanji was right as well. He wasn't over-imaginative; everything he stated was real. That's why she never pushed him away. Eren smiled a true one under the water and let out a laugh.

 

"Wow! I'm completely sane. This is great actually. I just hope that Mikasa and Armin don't ever get theirs... I want them and Ma to stay normal as possible," he said to no one, his voice echoing against the shower. Nodding, he turned off the water and pushed aside the curtain, stepping out on the black bath rug. He curled his toes in it while drying off. He excused himself for using Levi's toothbrush and paste to clean his mouth. Making sure that he was good to go with no bad breath, he put back on his sleeping clothes and walked out and to the kitchen. Levi was still sleeping. So what better way than to surprise him with a late lunch? -- After looking around in the kitchen, the boy had whipped up basic sandwiches of roast beef and some salad to go with it. He stood over the stove, boiling water for tea. This was something he remembered doing vividly for Levi. He always like his black tea basic, but when Eren decided to make it for him in their previous life, he always added a teaspoon of honey and a squeeze of lemon. After that, Levi wanted no one else to make his beverage but Eren.

 

As he smiled to himself, a pair of arms went around his waist. "I see you're making yourself useful," came the thick, low voice behind him. Shiver ran through Eren's body at the titilating sound. "Had to if I had to feed this belly of mine. It's nothing special- sandwiches. I'm making tea right now," he replied, turning his head some to look down at Levi. He had the most serene look on his face. It wasn't as tired and the shadows under his eyes were lighter. His steel grey eyes had a warmth to them that made them near translucent, like a lake during winter with sunlight on the surface. It made Eren's heart stutter. He turned fully around and put his hands on Levi's waist. "You sleep okay?," he asked. "I did but you disappearing from my bed makes me a bit paranoid. But I see why. And it smells like you took a shower too." Eren's cheeks tinged with pink. "Uhm... yeah. Sorry-"

 

"Don't be. You know how I am with cleanliness." The teen laughed a little then the pot sang loudly, signaling that it was done. Eren was about to turn away but Levi snapped the knob over, turning it off, trapping Eren against him and the counter. Pressing his lips together, the boy looked back at the man with wide eyes. "Uh... Levi?" The older man smirked some and moved himself fully against Eren. "I'm waiting for you to give me a kiss, idiot. Been waiting for one." Eren's mouth formed a small "O" and fidgeted, heat seeping on his face. "Nervous? Tch. You never change." Eren WAS going to reply with a smart-ass remark, but a hand forced its way on the back of his head and brought it down to crash against Levi's mouth urgently. Moving with ease, Eren groaned at the contact and opened his mouth against the hungry tongue moving inside, sliding along his lover's rapidly. It shook him down to his core, igniting that old flame that began to wake slowly.

 

Hands moved into each others hair, moving against greedy mouths to drink each other like they were thirsty. Levi pulled on Eren's bottom lip with his teeth, sucking on it hard and swept his tongue along it, flitting against Eren's and the roof of his mouth. The noises his brat was making was driving him crazy. Every whimper and gasp made his blood sing. Not to mention the lazy erection soon blooming in his pants. Eren was always a loud one, no matter how hard Levi tried to keep him quiet in the past. Flighty hands slid under Levi's shirt to map his muscular back, tip-toeing down his spine. Levi pulled back, eyes glinting with unbridled lust but there was as shadow of concern over them. "Eren... I don't want to rush this. It's been a weird morning so far and I don't want to push you into anything like this just yet-"

 

"I'm not fragile! I can take it!," snapped the teenager, nails digging into the skin on Levi's hips. The man didn't falter at the pinching feeling but allowed the mask to stay on a little longer. "You say that now... but until you are TRULY ready... I won't go any further. Not until mentally you are." The boy gaped at Levi, mouth opening and closing rapidly like a goldfish's. Confusion and hurt clouded his features like a thunderhead but a pale finger on his lips made him rear back a little. "I'm not doing this to punish you. I'm doing this to make sure there is closure on both ends. I want you- Jesus CHRIST, I do- but I just don't want to fuck."

"I don't either," came the muffled reply against his finger.

 

Levi smiled a little at his teenager. "I know. But that's why I want to be careful. You're younger than I am so accepting what happened to us from another life is going to affect you more that how it did to me. That's why I want to be there step by step of the way," he ended on a note of gentle finality, bringing down his finger. Eren stared at him for a moment, flickered his gaze down to his hands holding the man then back up to the gray eyes. A beat of silence, then; "If... if you think it's right... then okay. But we can still do stupid romantic stuff right?" Levi raised a brow. "I had forgotten how much of a clinging pest you are. Yes, we still can. BUT remember that I have a job too and you have school and friends. And this has to be a secret for awhile until your birthday. You're fifteen still." Eren nodded frantically, hair flying everywhere and a large dazzling smile on his eager face. Levi was taken back for a moment at the way he smiled. He had forgotten how it could knock the wind out of him. "Let me make it up to you properly then!," the teen cried out merrily. Eren hugged Levi once more, pecking him with small kisses on his mouth then delved in sneakily like a cat, moaning lightly at the wet contact. Levi followed suit, sagging in the strong arms as he clung to Eren's upper arms.

 

 

 

This... was going to be harder than he thought...

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *cackles madly*  
> I HAVE FINALLY LOST IT.  
> DAT NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE AMAZING I SWEAR.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confrontations can be a bitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you guys?  
> Seriously, I do. I just have the most serious case of writer's block and lack of motivation. I keep reading all these beautifully made stories and get depressed that I can't reach that level. I've re-written this chapter and I'm about 78% okay with it... I think what I need to do is finally make Levi and Eren bone. HARD. *cackles*

Monday came too soon. I didn't want to go back home- I was perfectly set in mind to play house with Levi for the rest of my life. I think I coulda been happy with that. Sadly, here I was, trudging on the sidewalk with probably the worst expression of sadness on my face. Armin nudged me harshly in the ribs with a sharp jab, his breath visible in the wintry air. "Man, lighten up! I know that Monday's are awful, but you look like someone kicked your favorite puppy," he teased some. I sighed deeply and scratched my cheek. "Nah, it's not that... uhm. Something just kinda happened... and I was really happy-"

 

Armin stopped suddenly, a gloved hand grasping my shoulder. I jerked some at the action. "What?" His large cornflower blue eyes widened further as he searched my face. "You met up with the professor guy, didn't you? Eren... did you two...?" I shook my head wildly, my face heating up. "NO! No, no, no! I mean, well, we kissed and hugged and stuff, but only that!," I hissed. Armin grinned cheekily at me and smacked me on the back in a gesture of manliness. "AWESOME. Keep it up, man! But quit dragging around, please. I don't want to lug you around like a wet blanket." I mimicked the words back to his head silently, with a scrunched face and stuck out my tongue. I couldn't help it. I was just missing being in the arms of the man who I found all over again. As I played with the zipper of my hoodie with lowered eyes following my Converses, a stupid smile graced my lips. I had to leave him last night to make it home without being lynched by Mikasa and my mother. But we were lip-locked so tightly, every breath that passed through us seem to heighten the desire and want. My stomach twisted pleasantly at the memory of his soft scratching under my shirt, the nails catching the skin on my back and I eagerly opened my mouth further for him, nearly stuttering against his smaller, but stronger frame-

 

I swallowed thickly, gathering all my wits together and lifted my head up, only to be greeting by the icy, solid stare of my sister. "GAH!!! Shit, Mika! Warn a person next time! I think my heart dropped in my butt," I grounded out, hugging my hands to my chest firmly. She gave me a glance over once and slightly turned to Armin. "Head on without him. I need to speak with dear Eren for a moment," came the monotone voice. Armin nodded, his blonde hair flashing, and gave me a sympathetic smile while trotting off. 'I'll text you whem I'm there!,' he mouthed at me. I felt a bit betrayed at the action, but I knew why and better at it. I stared at my sister for a moment then leaned back some, sliding my hands in my jean pockets. "Well? What's up?" She shifted on her feet, pulling down the red scarf from her mouth a little. "You came home late. No call, no nothing. It's not like you. I lied to Mom and told her you were at Jean's because he got a new DLC for "Destiny". I can't keep lying for you. Especially when I don't know what's going on," Mikasa said lightly, her eyes narrowing slightly. I licked my lips out of nervousness and dug my hands further in my pockets. "Uhm..."

 

"Uhm what? That's not a response."

"What do you mean? It's a perfectly logical response."

"Eren. Stop pissing me off."

 

I started walking forward, her booted steps following beside me. "You know you can talk to me, 'Ren. We've never hidden anything from one another," she whispered. I nodded but kept silent. What was I going to tell her? That I was in love with a man half my age and oh, guess what- my lover from a previous life that I've dreamt about since I was little and no one ever believed me? I drew in a shaky breath and let it out, heart thumping wildly. "Well... I guess... er, I've met someone."

 

"Oh?," came the cool, silky reply. It sounded kinda bitter. I glanced at my sister, her dark hair falling over her face so I couldn't read her expression. All I saw instead was the crimson shade around her neck and mouth. "Yeah. And we really like each other a lot. In fact, it was someone that knows my old doctor. Hanji Zoe? So, I'm in rather good hands of some kind. But they're really nice and funny, smart-" A pale hand wrapped around my arm and drew it towards her, clutching. "Is it a girl or a boy?," came the hushed question. There was a pause and I knew I had to tell her. I chewed on the inside of my mouth and then blew out air. "You aren't making this easy. But it's... a guy." The nails dug in. Harsh. "Oh?"

 

I stopped walking, frowning a little. "What? Are you going to tell me who I can't see? Whether it's a guy or a girl? C'mon, Mika, I thought you had better sense than that," I bit back at her. Dark blue-gray eyes bore unto my own. "No. It has nothing to do with that. You and Mom are the only family I got... I need to make sure that whoever you love takes care of you properly... that you are loved...," she trailed off. I sighed some, ruffling my hair. "Mikasa. He does. I promise. Don't worry so much. And he WON'T hurt me, that's for certain. You've got nothing to worry about," I assured my sister, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and hugging her towards my side. I saw a faint glimpse of a smile as the dark-haired girl buried her mouth back behind the scarf. "I hope so," came the muffled voice. I was hoping so too, deep down.

\--

 

We made our way at Cafe Maria and Armin (who was oh-so patiently waiting for us) for some hot chocolate and to splurge on sugary confections when something brown and wild screeched my name while hauling my body upwards.

 

"EREN, MY DARLING!!! I'VE BEEN MISSING YYYYOOOOOUUU~!"

"H-H-HANJI!!! I can't BREATHE!," I wheezed out. Blinking, the doctor placed me down on my feet, grinning with a bagillion watt smile. "You look all cold and rosy. Whatcha drinkin'?! It's on me!"

"Well, ah ha ha, thank you. But I'm here with my sister and my friend Armin-"

"They can join us too!!! The more the merrier!," she cackled, dragging me to the table where I saw her familiar white Mac Book from last time and a crap ton of papers, scattered napkins and pens, and strangely enough string? Hanji plopped me down and walked towards the register, where Bertoldt stood with a blank look on his face. Maybe he was scared of her too. Mikasa and Armin stood off toward the side, eyeing me with shocked expressions. I smiled meekly and waved. "EREN!!! WHAT ARE YOU DRINKIN'?!!," came the howling request. I moaned and covered my face which was currently the shade of a firetruck. "Hot chocolate," I grounded out a little loud for her to hear. She whooped some and ordered in her loud voice, making me cringe but honestly, I knew Hanji meant well. I shook my head and waited for Hanji to come back with two large mugs steaming. Armin and Mikasa followed behind her, pulling up two chairs to the table after getting theirs.

 

"Well, now, isn't this homey?! Pleasure to meet you other two. I'm Hanji Zoe!," she exclaimed, shaking hands with both of them eagerly. "I'm Armin, that's Mikasa. It's a pleasure as well, ma'am." Hanji's hazel eyes widened. "NO! Don't call me ma'am! I ain't that old yet! Just good ol' Hanji is fine with me! I'm looking over some papers from the local college on the teenage brain. Man, lemme tell you guys... some of them just DON'T get it, even though the students are just teenagers themselves. It's weird... but anyway! How are you, my little Eren?," Hanji asked in one breath, her eyes gleaming and face slightly pink. I took a large sip of his hot chocolate while ignoring the stares my best friend and sister were giving me. "I'm pretty good. School let out for us for winter break-"

 

"SPEAKING OF THAT! I know it's a little sudden and whatnot, but I'm actually throwing a Christmas party in the evening of the 25th and you guys are more than welcome to stop by. I'll be cooking up a storm. Just because I act and look crazy, I can throw an actual mean buffet of goodies. Ewrin specializes in the sweets department though." My eyebrows shot up. "Ewrin?" "Yeah! My fiancee! I'll show ya a picture." She picked up her iPhone, thumbing through it and turned it around, showing us the large Captain American from that fateful morning when I left Levi's house. "Hey... I think I know him...," muttered Armin, squinting some. "You should. He's only the owner and proprietor of his law firm. Excellent lawyer," Hanji beamed, staring lovingly at his picture. "He's handsome," Mikasa said softly. The woman gave them a soft smile. "He really is. A good man. Used to be a childhood friend of mine and Boom! here we are! Engaged for four months. The wedding is gonna be in June..." I sat still, letting all the information sink in as Hanji prattled on. So Ewrin was just a friend... and Hanji's soon-to-be husband. I had nothing to worry about at all. Flushing and stomach twisting at guilt, I finished off my drink and thumbed the handle.

 

"Eren. Hey, Eren! Are you gonna come?," came the cheery voice in front of me. Blinking my eyes, I smiled a bit forcefully at my previous doctor. "Sure. Sure, yeah. Why not? Thank you for the offer, Hanji." She grinned and turned to Mikasa and Armin. "So, how did you two become friends with my precious angel? He was such a CUTIE as a little boy! Whenever he'd come to my office, he would just be a ADORABLE bright ray of sunshine. Quite bright!" Armin couldn't help but agree with her with a smile of his own. "We met in middle school. Mikasa is his sister, of course, so I met them on the playground one day. Eren was going on about doing a flip on one of the monkey bars while she stood there berating him about getting hurt. Which of course, he did it and ended up breaking his arm. I knew of them, but when that happened, I ran to him and offered my pudding to make him feel better while Mikasa ran to get the teacher. He ate it and bore through it all as if his arm didn't hurt. We all just kinda clicked then," the blonde laughed. My sister beside him sniggered at the memory. "He's such a klutz," she added. "Every sport he tried, he would end up getting hurt but recover fast so Eren pressed forward with all he did ten-fold. But he's a really good artist," Armin stated. Hanji giggled. "He used to draw with me too. I still have the pictures from back then!"

 

I groaned, hiding my face in my hands. "Nooooo... burn them, please. Make a sacrificial pyre for them," I moaned meekly. We spend the rest of the afternoon with Hanji, downing more hot chocolates and eating blueberry muffins while talking. It felt pretty good actually. All at ease. But then again, I was used to Hanji. In this life and my previous. I always admired her spirit but was often terrified at her obsession with the Titans, but I knew it was for a good cause. Luckily, it seemed Armin and Mikasa didn't remember her at all. I wondered if it was selective memory that could be triggered. I didn't let it bother me as much and instead, had a lovely December afternoon with my former Squad Leader and the two pieces of my heart.

\--

 

 **[Levi]:** What is it now, shitty glasses?  
  
_[Hanji]:_ I'm sitting across from your lover boy right now. :3

 **[Levi]:** And talking to me on Facebook Messenger? Do you not have anything better to do?

 _[Hanji]:_ OF COURSE! I invited him to our annual Christmas party~!! Does he even KNOW that's your bday too? Or did you not even tell him in the past?

 **[Levi]:** No, idiot. Of course not. No one knew except you, Erwin, and my Recon Squad. Why in hell did you invite him? He's gonna feel cornered.

 _[Hanji]:_ Or maybe feel like he's not alone...

 **[Levi]:** ...

 _[Hanji]:_ Don't worry, buttercup. We'll take care of him. I promise. He's a part of you, and we all love you, even if you are a grumpy old man who's shit jokes are borderline crude and nasty.

 **[Levi]:** Hey. My shit jokes are awesome. And I do trust you, Hanji... I'm just trying to take this slow.

 _[Hanji]:_ I know. Love you, short-stack.   
  
**[Levi]:** I'm flipping you off by the way.

 **[Levi]:** ... love you too.

\--

 

It was about five o'clock when we left the cafe. Mikasa had to go to her karate class and Armin was off to visit his grandfather. Yep, in this life, Armin had his parents, which I was thankful for. Mikasa hugged me and whispered in my ear, "That woman is as crazy as I remembered. But I like her." I grinned stupidly in her dark hair and hugged her back. "Thanks, sis." They parted with waves and goodbye's, leaving me with Hanji. Pulling on her purple mittens, her glasses gleamed in the late evening sunlight. "By the way, Eren darling," she drawled. I stuffed my hands in my jacket pockets, eyeing her. "Yyyyeeeessss?," I drew out, a bit aprehensive. She chuckled in her throat. "Levi's birthday is Christmas, just FYI. TATA, MY SWEETUMS!," she whooped, pinching my cheek with some force and skipped along the sidewalk to her car.

 

I stared after her, rubbing my cheek with slight irritation and then it hit me with the information she just gave me.

_LEVI'S BIRTHDAY. OH HOLY FUCKING SHIT DAMN DAMN DAMN._

 

Frantic I began to count down the days til the 25th in my head while pacing some. I had about four days to find THE perfect gift for Levi. Oh, what could I get him?!! The man obviously didn't need anything- so what did he NOT have? I frowned and started to walk back home. "Great... I got nothing for the one person I care about," I mumbled, letting the cool air hit my face fully, not caring that my nose was getting cold. At that moment, my phone chirped. I dug it out from my back pocket, seeing that it was Levi calling. Swallowing hard, I tried not to punch my stomach to tell the butterflies to chill out, I accepted the call and brought the phone to my ear. "Hey, you," I said quietly. "Hey there yourself. What are you up to?"

"Walking home. I just got done having some fun with Hanji, Armin, and Mikasa."

"Sounds fun. Where are you?"

"Not even ten paces from Maria Cafe. Why?"

"Stay there."

 

And then he hung up on me. I stared at my mobile quizzically then heard a honk behind me. I turned and saw that sleek ebony Mercedes and my knees knocked together. Because I knew HE was in the car. I nearly ran to the driver side window as it rolled down. I grinned largely at the pale face and ducked my head inside the warmth the vehicle gave off and kissed him fully on the mouth. Levi was startled but responded gently with a hum. "Now that's a greeting," he said against my lips. I retracted, licking them. His gunmetal eyes followed the motion, something flickering behind the dark gaze. "I should do it more often. What's up?," I asked, placing my arms on the window and leaned on them. "I'm taking you to dinner. Get in," he said, jerking his head to his passenger side. "Well now, I won't pass up dinner with a hot guy."

 

"Better not. I would've had to kick that cute ass of yours."

"Ohh... so you've been ogling my butt, eh?"

"Why not?"

\--

 

When he meant taking me to dinner, boy HOWDY... did he take me to dinner. The place was HUGE and expensive-looking. I gulped loudly at the foyer with its posh marble floors, the rich garnet and brown interior with light classical violin music playing. I knew this restaurant too. It was called the Rose Garden and swanky as all get out. I turned to look at Levi with incredulous eyes. "Dude. I am totally not dressed for this," I mumbled, shifting on my feet. "You look fine to me. And that's all that matters. Quit squirming. What are you, five?," he countered with a slight smirk and a challenge on his face. I've never backed down on one before. I mustered my courage and we both walked to the hostess stand. Luckily, I immediately knew the host. "Oh, hey there, Annie," I said politely. Mikasa's partner/rival looked at me with her cool blue eyes, platinum blonde hair gleaming in the gold light. "What's up, Eren? Two of you tonight?," she asked in a rather bored voice, but glanced over at Levi, her brows furrowing some. Not in disgust but like she was intrigued. "Yes, please," I said, trying to not blush. She picked up two menus and turned away from her podium. "This way, sirs," she called out and started walking. "You remember the Ice Queen here?," Levi whispered super low as we walked through the white covered tables to a large and comfy booth. "Yeah. She goes to school with Mikasa. We all kinda grew up together. Just like she was back then only-"

 

"Not the Female titan and trapped inside of a diamond."

"... y-yeah."

 

Glancing at the back of Annie's head with her trademark short, flipped out ponytail, I couldn't help but really feel sorry for her. Like the others, we didn't have a choice. I brushed against Levi's arm some, not really thinking properly until he brushed his fingers against my swinging hand. "Steady," he breathed softly, a slight tilt to his voice that made my heart jerk. "Here you go, guys. I hope you enjoy everything," she said in a small, even voice. A tundra blue eye cut through me through thistled inky lashes and Annie passed us to go back up to the host stand. The booth we were given was large and spacious, a creamy vanilla shade and they looked bouncy. Eagerly I slid in and tried to not let that somewhat icy look she gave get to me. I fingered the binding of the menu laid out, seeing that it was written in French and thankfully, English. Over the low candlelight, murmurs, light laughter and silverware clinking, Levi seemed to have matched perfectly with the scenery. I was a bit jealous... then again-

 

Levi could fit in anywhere despite his demeanor. I nibbled on my bottom lip and gazed over the glossy menu. "You're thinking too hard, brat. What's wrong?," asked the reserved voice before me. Glancing up timidly, I saw the man's eyes reading but I knew his attention was on me. "Uhm... ah... n-nothing. Nothing really." A drawn-out sigh reached my ears and I worked my throat. I didn't want to annoy him. After all, he WAS treating me to a nice dinner... "Hey. Eren. Look at me." I bit the inside of my mouth and squirmed lightly in the booth. Where was the server!!? Flickering my attention back up, I nearly keeled over. Levi was sitting back comfortably, an arm slung over oh-so coolly and casually over the edge of the booth. His eyes were hooded, fringed bangs partially hiding them. The color was not that familiar gunmetal grey, but dark like a storm and almost gleaming. "What?," I whispered, gripping my menu. Levi's lips curled slightly in a rather nasty smirk. "You're obviously embarrassed by something or uncomfortable. Your ears are red. Do you not want to be seen with me?" I shook my head at him. "No! No, no, no! It's not that. I think it's the reverse role... I might not be good company. I don't fit in," I muttered, looking at the linen covered table. "I've never had," I said quietly. I felt ashamed, heat radiating from my neck down. "Brat." I flickered my gaze up slowly as it settled back on Levi. His face was impassive, blank, and not moving. Only his eyes spoke volumes to me. My stomach plummeted deeply in one-fell swoop and I forgot how to breathe. "Good evening, gentlemen! I apologize for the wait- I was helping run food. My name is Sasha... and I'll be taking care... of... Eren?," came a faint, thin question of my name. I pulled away from the intense gaze of my corporal to see my friend standing there, staring at us. "Sasha! Hey, sweets, how are you?," I faked laughed as if to try and shake the heavy feeling around us. Instead, her caramel eyes took in Levi carefully and then blinked rapidly, tears suddenly falling hurriedly down her cheeks.

 

"Oh. Eren. Why didn't you tell me?!!"

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WHAT DIDN'T YOU TELL HER, EREN???!!?


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memory, loss, and snow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love you all.  
> Just remember that.  
> I REALLY DO.

I stared up at Sasha with a scared look on my face, standing up slightly. The girl's tears kept falling. "Sash, what's wrong, sweetie?," I calmly asked her, touching her on her arm. "Why didn't you tell me??! That you were on a DATE?! I could have gotten you a much nicer table!!!," she hissed at me, sniffling. I gaped at her in shock. My heart was still racing because I thought for a moment she had retrieved her memory from seeing Levi and I together. Speaking of which-

 

I heard him chuckling lightly at Sasha's statement. We both looked at him as his shoulders quaked. "Eren, you really do have some interesting friends. At least this one is happy for you truly," he said silkily, silver eyes gleaming. Sasha reached for a linen napkin and wiped her face. "Sorry, sorry, sorry! Romance is my vice, only second to food. And I love me some Eren. You didn't tell me your hot date was the Short Dark and Moody, dude!," she giggled with a red nose but now smiling. I balked at the old nickname we had given him. "Sasssshhhaaaaa!," I strained, my blood pressure slowly building. "Oh? From the first time we met? How... romantic of you, Eren," Levi chortled, playing with a knife, the metallic surface gleaming in the dim light. For a moment, I did fear for my life. "It was just a tease! He's been gaga of you ever since. Which by the way! What can I start you two gentlemen to drink this evening?!," the brunette smiled prettily.

 

"I'll have a water with a glass of your finest Syrah, please," Levi asked smoothly. "Excellent choice, sir! Eren, what would you like?"

"Uhm... water with lemon. Thank you."

 

Sasha skipped off as I stood off to the side awkwardly. I chewed on the inside of my mouth hard, twisting my fingers together. "I'm sorry," I mumbled. "Will you sit down then? Please? There's nothing to be sorry about. I recall how Blouse is. Always hungry, but a good heart," Levi offered behind me. I turned and did as he asked, my face still hot from embarrassment. I slowly opened the menu to look at what was to offer (and to distract me from the man) and nearly balked at the prices. "Oh crap. Levi! This stuff is kinda outta my price range!," I whispered frantically at him. He raised a thin brow, still slowly turning his knife. "I do recall that I was the one to ask you out to dinner. It's okay, Eren," the man told me in a low voice. I swallowed and picked a 12 ounce rib-eye meal to eat and he did as well when Sasha came back with our drinks. Hoo... boy howdy, this was gonna be a long dinner date...

 

\--

_**Mikasa POV** _

\--

 

Once I came back to the house, full of sweets and a slightly ringing ear from the good doctor Hanji, I couldn't help but mull over in the back of my mind that she seemed familiar. Other than when younger I met her. I slowly unwound the red scarf around my neck and placed it on the kitchen island, hearing Mom getting ready for the night shift. "Hey, baby love! I'll be home around 5 in the morning, so make sure you two don't sleep all day either. We gotta do some Christmas shopping later tomorrow night," came her cheerful voice. I couldn't help but shake my head at how optimistic she did for her work. I don't think I could do it. "Yes, ma'am," I replied and walked into the living room while shucking off my pullover.

 

The television was on, some cheesy commercial for the red and green holiday approaching in five days time. Our tree had been up since the first week of December, a tradition I can think back on as far as I could. Mom liked going all out on the glittering decorations. Myself, I was partial to tinsel. This year, Eren and I chose the color scheme of burgundy and gold with white lights. Flopping down on the couch, I thought back to my brother at the cafe. He was very comfortable with the weird woman, but also... like he was used to it. And what did she tell him while Armin and I left? What secrets was he hiding? If any?

 

"Mika, you okay?," came Mom above my head. I leaned back, seeing her in her mint-colored scrubs. "I'm fine. Too much hot chocolate at Maria today," came my quiet reply. She ruffled my hair, grinning. "Nothing wrong with a little bit of splurging. Least you don't get hyperactive like Eren," she sighed, walking to the door. I watched her put on her Nikes and pull over a thick, cream jacket. "You work too hard," I scolded at her. "Well, someone has to to keep you heathens fed."

 

" _Mmmmoooommm_. Please. I work on the weekends, like Eren too. We TRY to give you money-"

"Hup, bah bah! No little lady! I can't take your money!"

"... you're totally twisting my words." Mom laughed, her coffee-colored eyes twinkling.

 

"That's what Moms do! Be good and I'll see you guys tomorrow," she walked over to me, kissing the top of my head and in whirl, she was gone. I sat on the couch in silence, the television a background noise for my buzzing mind. It was still on Eren. Something kept poking and prodding at the back of it. I frowned and raised my thumb to my mouth, biting around the skin. I was hoping he was being careful. I didn't mind that he had a boyfriend... or companion. Bitch better be using condoms if he's screwing around. I didn't even think though that he was gay. It never really crossed my mind. Then again, he had the capacity to fall in love with anything and everyone generally swayed his way. Big ol' ball of energy. I dug around my pullover pocket for my phone and called Armin, needing to relax my mind. "Hey, 'Kasa, what's up?," he drawled lazily with the most chill tone ever. I smirked into the receiver. "Someone's toking up already?" He scoffed. "It's Christmas vacation. A little green love isn't going to hurt me. Plus, we're teenagers- isn't this what we're supposed to do?" I rolled my eyes. "I don't."

 

"That's cause you're smarter than us. What's going on?" I pursed my lips some while drawing my feet up off the couch. "I'm thinking about today at the cafe. With that Hanji woman. There's something about her that I can't quite put my finger on," I mulled over. "I got that feeling too but she seems like the genuine article. And so is her fiancee. I was actually thinkin' of trying to get an internship at his office during the summer," Armin preened a little. "... you little shit," I muttered. He cackled through my ear. "I was going to tell you! But anywho, Hanji is a nice lady. And she bought us all those sweets too. What's not to like? I mean, I kinda remember her from when we were little. She came by the house a couple of times, right?" I nodded out of habit over the phone. "Yeah. Eren adored her. I think because it was for the dreams and that he believed in her. Out of us all, that quack believed in his dreams-"

 

"Wait, Mikasa. Question; HAS Eren had anymore of those dreams?," came Armin's soft voice. I glanced up at the ceiling. "Not to my knowledge. He's stopped talking about them now for awhile." Armin didn't say anything for a moment. I raised a brow. "Oy, Pineapple Bowl, what's wrong?" He coughed a little. "N-nothing. Inhaled the wrong way. I gotta go, 'Kasa. Love you!"

 

"Hey!!!"

**_Click._ **

 

I stared at the phone in disbelief. "The actual fuck?," I whispered at it. He better not be keeping secrets from me. True, Eren hadn't spoken about his nightmares here lately. I wonder if it had anything to do with the person he was currently seeing. I sat there in a stewed silence, chewing the inside of my mouth. I didn't like this. I didn't like it at all. I stood up and went upstairs to my bedroom, clicking on the light and dug out my journal I had kept for years. I flipped through it to the beginning when I first got it and when Eren's dreams were prominent. I scanned over my childish handwriting until I came to his meeting with Dr. Hanji Zoe. Brash, energetic and fun. He loved her. Always begged Mom to let him stay and extra hour because "she understood him better than we could". I remember asking Eren about his dreams and wrote them down myself of what he described:

 

large walls.  
Military people in green.   
Long swords used to kill monsters that ate people.   
Too many friends dying.

 

I skimmed over passages, over wrinkled, sometimes tear-stained paper til I found what I was looking for. The entry from when we were stopped on our way home from school. A man had called out to Eren. Pale of face. Black hair that was too perfect. Hallowed eyes of liquid silver. A face that had started haunting me. Because the more I read the passage, the more he plauged my brain during that chance meeting, he never left it. Something was trying to tell me that this man was someone. It felt like a low buzzing that strays behind your ears, constant and annoying. Even when I shook my head to relieve it, the sound remained. I tossed my journal off to the side of my bed and pushed back my hair, huffing and squeezed my eyes shut. I hated this. And I hate Armin from keeping the secret from me-

Oh.

OH.

OOOOOH.

 

I was still. Unmoving. I heard the pieces fall into place _'tink-tink-tink!'_. I KNEW who the new boyfriend was. I recalled the look on my brother's face as he had stared at the man in the fancy car. Besotted. Entranced. There was a pull there and I was not allowed into whatever field Eren has surrounded himself with and this person. THAT SON OF A BITCH. I pulled out my phone from my back pocket and got ahold of Armin once more. "You lying sack of shit, I'm gonna kick your ass the next time I see you. I figured out who the boyfriend is!," I hissed venomously at my friend. Armin groaned and I heard the smack of his hand on his forehead. "Mikasa, stay out of it. They're actually happy together and Eren is beyond the moon. Don't be so protective of him." I gawked through the receiver. "Wh-what?!," I spluttered, spinning around and stalking throughout my bedroom. "He has NO reason to trust him because we don't even know him! He could kill Eren! He could-"

 

"He could do a lot of things, Mikasa, but YOU don't have to be involved. It's not YOUR boyfriend nor YOUR relationship," came the cool and stony reply. I halted and felt my heart twist uncomfortably. "Eren can handle his own. He always has. He's my friend and like a brother, 'Kasa. I want him to be and FEEL normal. Not having to hide behind his mother and sister forever," he murmured tiredly. I sat down slowly on my bed, my fingers shaking while trying to keep hold of my phone. A cold sweat has prickled against my back and my temples- a habit that happened whenever I felt cornered. "B-but... Armin..." "But nothing. Leave him alone. Eren can't stay little forever. We all have to grow up sometime. I have complete faith in Eren and his new companion."

 

"Have you met him?"

"Not yet, but I hear great things."

 

I felt my temper flare up at that. "Well, he never told me!," I nearly yelled. "That's because you always FREAK out. Remember that one time back in like, fifth grade when Krista kissed Eren on the cheek for Valentine's Day and aside from Ymir getting pissed, you nearly cut off all her hair in a fit of rage? Eren isn't an animal you can keep, Mikasa." My heart stuttered like a bird's. "... Armin... you did not say that to me..." I heard him shift around in the phone and a light sigh. "I had to. Because it's true," he said lowly. It was almost sincerely.

 

"Let him go."

\--

**_Eren's POV_ **

\--

 

We finished dinner in almost complete silence, but the gestures and looks that Levi gave me were kind and sweet; he had held my left hand across the table the entire time. I was full but still saved room from the dessert- a large slice of seven layers of chocolate cake, white and regular chocolate mousse, cheesecake and raspberry sauce drizzled all over it. I inhaled it with as much gracefulness I could possess. Levi chuckled some, finishing his wine. "Was it that good, brat?" I nodded vigorously, licking the corner of my mouth. He zoomed in on my face, eyes snapping. "Hmm. Don't do that here, Eren," he rumbled, gripping the stem of his glass. I paused, unsure of what to do. "Uh... uhm. Oh-okay," I stuttered, blushing darkly, the taste of the bittersweet cocoa thick on the roof of my mouth. "Hey. You wanna bust outta here?," he pressed, a somewhat lewd smile on his face. My arousal peeked interest at this. FINALLY?!! Were we getting somewhere?!?! I grinned and stood with him as we put on our coats to brace the December night air.

 

"Make sure to leave Sasha a good tip, please?," I asked sweetly, batting my eyelashes at him. "Only if you stop sniveling at me like some little girl," he rolled his eyes, taking out two twenty's and left them on the table. "Very nice, sir," I preened, pinching his side. Levi shook his head and slung a arm over my shoulder. "Anything for you. Let's go home. I have an after-after dessert for you," he breathed in my ear, nosing the shell. My cock twitched in my pants, coming to life. We rounded the corner to the exit. Sasha breezed by with a, "See ya later, Ere-bear! I'll text ya later and love you~!" I waved with a laugh.

 

"Love you too, Squash!"

"Really? Ere-bear? Squash?"

"We're teenagers. Give off me."

 

Annie stood by the host stand, wiping down the menus and raised her cool, blue eyes to me. "... later, Jeager. Have a good night," she said evenly. I nodded at her politely. "You too, Annie." Levi kept his eyes in front of him the entire time until we left the building and was graced with light snow falling. I gasped in awe, pulling away from the warmth of Levi's body and arms outstretched to try and hug the wintry night. "WOW!!! Finally we're getting snow! Oh, look, Levi!," I sang, fully laughing. My bare hands touched each flake with sweet swipes. I tilted my head back, closing my eyes. It felt like getting tiny kisses from Heaven. The icy air reached deep into my lungs, filling me up with a new energy. I lowered my head down and opened my eyes to see Levi standing by the lamp post, watching me with an awed expression on his face. His black coat was covered with white powder and his hair. Cheeks were rosy and lips pink, white breath coming forth from them. I think I fell harder for him standing there in the snow, covered with the florescent light. "Levi," I whispered.

 

He reached for me with an outstretched hand which I took softly. "My Eren," he sighed, bringing me towards him. I may have towered over him but he still made me feel small but wanted. "What are you, some kind of green-eyed Christmas faerie? Dancing around like that before me? I hope you weren't planning on leaving me in the snow by myself," he teased a little, gloved hands cupping my face. "For you? I would never. I never did," I smiled at him wholly. He smiled back fully, a thumb tracing up my eye to brush off the snow gathered on my lashes. "You're beautiful. You know that? And mine. All completely mine," he said thickly. I blushed once more, wrapping my arms around his waist. We were flushed together, our body heat mingling through our clothes while the snow fell softly around us in our December hug. "I wanna kiss you," I blurted out suddenly. Levi blinked and then tossed his creamy neck back to laugh. "You are a wonder. Come here-" He had reached for the back of my head and pushed my head down to kiss. I eagerly accepted it, hugging Levi closer.

 

I would die a hundred deaths for his kisses.

 

 

 

\--

 

**small preview for next chapter:**

 

\--

 

_"Hhhnnnn! Wh-what are you?!-"_

_"Shh, shh. Quiet, pup," I said thickly, tracing his collarbone slowly, watching him squirm underneath me. Eyes the color of the sea and sky trembled with tears, glittering like a rare and precious gem under starlight. "Oh, you are my most beautiful boy," I crooned to him, sitting back fully on his hips and hand my hands down his chest like he was a cat. His back arched under my ministrations and another sweet whine came from his mouth, stained a dark red from all the kissing and biting. I drank in the sight of his golden tan skin stretched over his muscled chest, the soft cuts. "Levi, please, please!" I chuckled lowly and rolled my hips a little, Eren yelping._

 

_"In time, little one. In due time..."_

\--

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M A TEASE AND I'M SORRY.
> 
> BUT SEXY TIME WILL COMMENCE IN NEXT CHAPTER.  
> Send me some inspirational love-makin' music my way so I can get it out faster.
> 
> and Eren can finally come.  
> again. and again.   
> and some more.
> 
> booya.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "... Heaven meets Earth like a sloppy wet kiss,  
> and my heart beats violently inside of my chest..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for how behind I've been.  
> NONE.
> 
> I just hope that this chapter makes it up.  
> I love you all.  
> And I love my best friend for letting me use her PC since my screen no longer functions. Luh ya, bae.
> 
> And this chapter is dedicated to cinnamon_skull and Dressed_In_Darkness because they were my main inspirations. Someone let 'em know for me.

We must have kissed for what seemed like forever under the falling snow. I could recall becoming a whimpering mess under his mouth as we worshiped each other like lifelines. Then, the gentle push towards the car and the warm hum of the heater. The Mercedes gave off the new-car smell that wrapped around me like a security blanket. I kept running my fingers over my swollen lips. Shivers danced along my skin invitingly. I felt stupid drunk off of Levi's kisses. Ya know the feeling when you get super excited and all the adrenaline flies throughout your body? Like you're floating in zero gravity and the pressure buzzes around your brain?

 

That's how I felt around him. I dimly looked over at the man driving, the city lights washing over his angular features. I felt a surge of pride bloom in my chest. _'Mine... all mine.'_ I grinned toothily and leaned beside him, the seat belt digging into my shoulder and chest, but I ignored the slight burn so I could nuzzle his cheek. "You're perfect," I whispered into his ear. Sincerely. Honestly. The faint creak of his grip on the steering wheel made me chuckle. "Eren. Sit back some else there's gonna be an accident, brat. We'll love on each other some more at my place," he said firmly, but with a darker hint laced in his tone. I pressed my lips together in delight and slid back to my seat. "Whatever you say, Levi," I murmured, flicking back some of my hair. Now, I'm not sayin' I'm great at doing certain things, but I have been called a flirt and a tease. My stomach quivered in anticipation of what my boyfriend could do to me...

 

faint flashes of memory crossed my mind from time to time of dark nights, hot whispers of breath against sweaty skin and a thirst that couldn't be quenched no matter how many times I cried for him...

 

my cock twitched to life and pressed against the seam of my jeans. I casually crossed a leg over my other and pressed down lightly on it. My guy was making me want to show him that I just wasn't a bumbling kid or a shy-virgin (okay, I was a virgin but I'm not DUMB. I've given blow-jobs and hand-jobs and possibly dabbled in the whole... err... _finding_ myself...), but someone who was willing to take that plunge with him. I didn't want to be like how I was in my previous life; afraid, skittish, and a stuttering mess. I wanted to prove to him that I was up to his level. I turned my attention to the road ahead of us and stretched some, arching my back a little and letting a small groan escape from my lips. I flickered my eyes to Levi, nibbling on my bottom lip. I ran a hand over my thigh, down to my knee and back up, staring at him. He showed no signs of paying attention at me. We pulled up to a red light luckily and he zoomed in on my face, grasping my chin with a solid hold. Steel-grey eyes bore into my own and a small whine sang around us.

 

"You need to behave. So help me," he hissed, his gaze swooping down and a smirk crossed his face. "Oh-ho? What's this?," he cooed. I gulped, mortified. Fuck. I had raging hard-on from Hell. Car, just fling me out into traffic please?!! A hand wrapped around it hotly and squeezed me through my jeans. I made a choking sign, slamming my head back against my seat. "F-fuck, Levi!," I gasped. His throaty chuckle skipped in my ear and a sharp bite to the lobe. "Oh, I will be enjoying that in a moment." The light turned green and with a slight press to the pedal, we were gone into the night.

 

_**\-- Levi POV --** _

 

That perfect, adorable little shit. Trying to seduce me in my own car. I have to give him extra props for looking like a chocolate lab that was begging for table scraps with large, Caribbean eyes and a pouty mouth. Hnn... that MOUTH. I planned on him working with it this evening. Once inside the apartment, the cats decided that we needed a distraction. Sawney and Bean yowled with the range like that of a banshee, demanding to be fed and petted upon. I sighed, rolling my eyes in the doorway while Eren baby-talked them over my shoulder. "Oh, baby boys are hungry! C'mere!," he laughed, pushing beside me to coddle my animals. I raised a thin brow at him as he interacted with them. "Really?," I said out loud. Eren's giggles kept ringing out through the apartment as he moved around my kitchen to find their dinner. Rolling my eyes to the ceiling, I unwound my scarf and placed it on the coat-rack along with my thick pea coat. Toeing out of my work shoes, I padded softly to the doorway of the kitchen and leaned against it, arms crossing.

 

The teenager moved quickly, talking to my feline-children like they were actually human. I allowed myself to smile. He really was something else. He placed their food bowls down on the floor as the furry creatures pounced on their dry-food. Eren turned to me with a bright smile. "Babies are fed!"

 

"Good job. Maybe you can feed yourself one day." He made a scoffing noise. "Jerk-face."

"Yeah, but I'm your jerk-face. Remember?"

 

"Oh, rrriiiggghhhttt!," Eren drew out, sliding over to me and pulling my body close to his. I could smell the scent of snow and outdoors on him. We made noises of content at the embrace. I rubbed my nose along his collarbone slowly. "Want some tea?"

"Please and thank you."

 

I withdrew from him to walk towards the stove, grabbing the kettle by the handle. I filled it with water from the tap in silence while Eren sat at the island, picking at the counter top. "So. After a lovely meal and making out, what do you want to do?," I asked him lightly with a tilt in my voice. I heard him "eep!". I snickered to myself. "Well, ah... uhm. I th-thought that w-we were gonna... y'know...," he mumbled. I turned away from the now lighted stove to raise a brow at him. He was the color of a tomato, the color high on his cheeks. Eyes were wide like saucers, gleaming like the ocean while staring at me and biting on his bottom lip. "Thought we were going to do what exactly?," I drew out. Eren's brows furrowed at me, the blush darkening but I could see the cross mix of confusion and irritation flickered across his features. "But I... what about...?," he asked brokenly, scanning over my face. I shook my head at him and smirked. "You are REALLY, really gullible, you know that, right? Calm down, brat. We're going to enjoy some tea first, relax, and then maybe I'll give you a final dessert," I teased softly as I turned back to the whistling kettle. I heard Eren sigh loudly and then laugh under his breath. He was still fun to make fun of even now. I fixed two mugs of black tea and set one down in front of him, the steam whisping upward and curling around that darling face I loved.

 

I observed him over the rim quietly as he blew on the liquid to cool it down. A scant memory of something similar itched at the back of my head. A darkly-lit room of stone, a desk scattered with papers and smudged ink, two teacups filled with my favorite tea and sweetened with honey, a delicious mouth that carried the taste... warm, dry fingertips caressing my jaw and throat- so, so sweet...

 

I shook my head out of that memory and swallowed deeply from my cup, my face heating up. Licking my lips, I placed down the dish down. "Is it good?" Eagerly, my boy nodded. "Super good. And you are right; it does calm you down. Hey, Levi?"

 

"Yes, little shit?"

"... I love you," came the whispered declaration with eyes like jewels and a face kissed by God.

 

I stared at Eren for a full minute, letting those words sink in. My heart thumped madly in my ears and every nerve seemed to have been electrocuted when Eren let that mouth tell me he loved me. "Wh-wha?," I wheezed, feeling like I walked in a dream. Eren stood from the island stool and stood before me. It felt like he was perched like a flightless bird. "I... love you. With everything I got. I'm yours," he said firmly with determination, hands clenched by his sides. I stared up at him with astonishment then stepped forward, my own hands coming up to rest on his shoulders. "That was the cheesiest thing I've ever experienced. Now, kiss me, Eren," I practically purred, feeling drunk on him. Like a puppy, he eagerly complied, swooping down with a large hand holding the back of my neck and smothering my lips with tiny kisses and nibbles. My arousal from earlier came creeping back and I grunted at a particular bite, holding him by the strands of his chocolate-colored hair.

 

"You monster- no control for anything," I growled, narrowing my eyes. Eren grinned at me with the intent of a naughty child, holding close to him as he stared at me at a equal level. There was a beat- and his whole demeanor shifted into something sweeter. "I wanna love you," he said carefully, surely. With every bit of sincerity. My body thrummed at the sound of his voice. It  _needed_ him as much I did. I sighed, thumping forehead against his own tenderly.

 

"You sure you want to? No turning back."

"I am more than sure. I'm, like, two hundred percent sure."

"Tch. Idiot," I muttered and surged forward to kiss him, wrapping around his throat to tilt his head more to my own.

 

He groaned at the contact and licked at the seam of my mouth, wanting to enter. I parted, only entangle my tongue nastily against his own in a slick dance. Eren panted, licking and caressing my mouth as if it were a precious dessert. I greedily drank from him, tugging his chocolate brown locks to get a reaction- which worked. He growled into the kiss and stalked us into my bedroom, where he proceeded to toss us on my bed unceremoniously. I always liked that about Eren from the previous life at how strong he could be. The brat's hips rolled against prominent erection and a shot of pleasure raced down my spine. I welcomed it with a twist of my own hips that ground neatly back on Eren. I parted from the kiss and tossed my head back against the mattress, humming. "F-fuck, Eren," I gasped, clawing at his neck as he continued to roll us together, cocks rubbing deliciously with heated friction. He bent his head to tongue under my jaw and traveled to my ear. "I know... god, Levi," he moaned, his face falling into the crook of my neck. He proceeded then to suckle my skin, causing me to hiss and arch my back further up. I clung to his clothed back for dear life. "You better get me out of my fucking clothes soon, Eren, or I'm kicking your ass out of this apartment," I threatened in a low, strained voice. The brunette shot up, sat on my lap and proceeded to yank off his long-sleeved shirt hurriedly. I stared at him for a brief moment as he wrestled with his belt, cussing at himself. His eyes gleamed with a wild light that bounced off the dim glow from the small side lamp. I forgot how dark his skin was. Golden-brown, even in the winter. The body before me was between a teenager and a young man. His stomach wasn't as ripped as mine, but it was solid with a semblance of a four-pack and his arms were sinewy, awkward but I've felt them around me and knew them as home. I sat up some to help him out of his skinny jeans, humming with delight at the tight forest green boxer-briefs he wore.

 

"Very nice, Jaeger," I purred at him, snapping the waistband. Eren yelped, smacking my hands away. His face glowed a bright red. I laughed openly and proceeded to smother his face with peppered kisses. "I like them. Now, help me out of my stuff." After moving around, disgruntled noises and then finally out of the clothes and clad only in our underwear, we stared at one another as if seeing each other for the first time. Eren's eyes glittered and he went back into his mode of being a kid. Hunched shoulders and head hanging down some. He looked over me slowly. I could see the flutter of his heartbeat against the hollow part of his neck. I'm sure he forgot he was human. In fact, I'm sure all the blood in his body raced straight down to his dick. But in this moment, he was in clear awe and I felt a bit displayed. I knew I still had a rocking body- I take pride in working out and staying fit and healthy- but I had a feeling I still intimidated him even like I did back then. "You are so beautiful...," he said in the stillness of the room, hands clenching into fists that rested on his thighs. I cocked my head to the side, confused. "Thank you, babe. But you are too. Why are you sitting like that?" Eren swallowed thickly and slowly crawled over to me, placing his head on my shoulder. "I guess... that it's all surreal now...," came the meek reply. "I mean, I remember every inch of you... from my dreams. But now... again, face to face... Jesus, Levi." I raked a hand through his hair, the silky strands running over my fingertips.

 

"It's okay. It's just us two. It's a bit odd for me too, because I've been waiting for you, but now-" I embraced him fully and we both shivered as our skin met fully, muscle and strength flexing and pushing. "We're together. And I'm never EVER letting you go, Eren Jeager. You're my other half," I told him fiercely. His large hands grasped my waist securely at his statement. "You're mine too," came the tiny voice. I chuckled and lifted his head up, pressing my lips between his brow. "Now... lay back. Let me take care of you," I told him. Nodding in my neck, the green-eyed boy pulled away slowly and crawled backwards, biting on his bottom lip. I watched him hungrily as he sprawled backwards on my inky black sheets. The color contrast was lovely; ebony and smoky caramel. His chest was heaving in excitement, hopefully and not nerves, and he leaned back on the pillows. I crawled over his hot body, purposely brushing our covered cocks together, earning a pained cry from his swollen lips. I chuckled darkly and sat down fully in his lap, continuing to rock slowly. "What's the matter, Jeager? Can't handle this?," I murmured sweetly low. He covered his mouth with both hands, choking back on the noises wanting to escape and canting his hips in shaky time with my own. I moaned at the bulge moving against my own, tossing back my head. "There you go," I encouraged him with a whisper, starting to grind down harder, watching him through hooded lashes, grasping his hips. Eren cried out then, jerking up. "Hhhnnnn! Wh-what are you?!-"

 

"Shh, shh. Quiet, pup," I said thickly, tracing his collarbone slowly, watching him squirm underneath me. Eyes the color of the sea and sky trembled with tears, glittering like a rare and precious gem under starlight. "Oh, you are my most beautiful boy," I crooned to him, sitting back fully and stroked my hands down his chest like he was a cat. His back arched under my ministrations and another sweet whine came from his mouth, stained a dark red from all the kissing and biting. I drank in the sight of his golden tan skin stretched over his muscled chest, the soft cuts. "Levi, please, please!" I chuckled lowly and rolled my hips once more, Eren yelping. "In time, little one. In due time..."

 

I lowered my mouth down to that delectable collarbone, mouthing it with wet swipes and sucks. I bit down harshly in one spot, having Eren's yips ring in my ears and his hips were now moving erratically under me. As I sucked and bit a pattern of red blossoms erupted on his field of honey skin. Tightening my grip on his waist, I spared a glance at my boy when I clamped my mouth on a rosy nipple, watching his face contort with pleasure and a breathy whine escape plump, "L-Levi...! Don't t-tease me!" I grinned around the nub and licked it lazily like a cat would. "Where's the fun in that? We're making up for last time, brat. I intend to wreck you," I said thickly around the nipple and moved like a snake to the other one with the tip of tongue, claiming it. Eren pressed his lips together as another sobbing whine came from him. After feasting all over his torso with drenched, languid licks and more hickeys, I sat back on his thighs and eyed the Golden Ticket prize for me that was straining in boxer briefs. Quickly, I shoved the hem down with a free hand and groaned aloud, not ashamed. "Fuck. I remember that," I grinned salaciously at Eren. The brunette choked on his words, burying his face in the side of his arm. "Oh, don't hide from me, gorgeous. I wanna see that face." A glare shot at me. I then went up on my knees, nodding towards the headboard. "Grab that, love. Don't move either." Eren obeyed, watching me like a wolf would a rabbit. I yanked down my briefs, sighing in relief with my dick freed and out in the open. It was already wet and hard, the flared tip a angry violet-red. I caught Eren's gaze as he zoomed in on it as I lazily stroked it, observing him. He was captivated. "You want this, Jaeger?," I asked slowly with emphasis on each stroke, my voice surprisingly steady as sparks of pleasure raced down my spine. Those large sea-glass eyes never left my cock as his color seeped further down his neck to settle on his chest at my rather confident decorum.

 

"Y-yes. I do," came the weak, dry whisper. A lick of a tongue on his lips, twitching fingertips at the headboard. His stomach clenched rapidly. I sighed when I released my grip and tossed my head some, the fringe of my bangs tickling my forehead and ears. "Hmm... I don't think I believe you," I sighed, reaching forward and ran a finger down his thick shaft, cooing at how hot it was. My secret entrance twitch at the size of it, as if remembering. 'Not tonight... later, but this is about Eren,' my inner thoughts said. I flickered my eyes up to him. "Do you want me to suck you off, baby?," I murmured. He arched his back some, groaning loudly. "Oh, fuck- I don't care what you do to me, just don't stop touching me!," he pleaded, his eyes shinny with pent-up tears. I smiled toothily and slapped his thigh some, earning a very unmanly squeak from him. "Turn over then on your knees. Keep holding onto that headboard. I'll make sure to touch you plenty..." Trembling, the teenager complied to my orders, the bow of his beautiful back and the lovely rump of his turned up to me. I quickly jacked my dick a little to ease up the building in my balls, humming at the soft globes of flesh. I then grabbed them, squeezing and caressing, kneading. Eren was panting like a bitch in heat and making noises as if he was in pain. "You okay there?," I asked softly, rubbing my hands all over his backside. " 'm fine, j-just... it hurts!," he whimpered, looking back at me like a wounded animal. "What? You mean... this?," I drawled out, reaching under and grasping his dick firmly and stroked upward. Eren yelled in surprise and arched his back out, hips moving with my rhythm. "Y-yeah," he panted our harshly. "You h-hand feels soooooo good, Levi~!," he moaned. I swore under my breath and released him. "Don't get ahead of yourself, shit for brains."

 

I leaned my body down some, parting his cheeks and choked back a sound of want as his hole winked at me, pink and virginal. Normally, I am a clean-freak. Anything nasty, dirty, rank was not on my list. But Eren was special- inside and out. I ran my thumb over it, pressing inward. Eren flailed, almost letting go of his grip on the bed. "LEVI!" I grinned behind his head and lowered my head, swiping a tongue on the opening. Oh yes... this was all TOO familiar. I took hold of his cheeks and plundered through, feasting like I was last man on Earth receiving a dish from God Himself. I wiggled the tip inside of him, fucking him with my tongue. I soaked up every bit of Eren's sobs and cries of pleasure as my tongue pushed into the tight, hot entrance. I hummed against him, sucking along the flesh hard. Eren made a garbling noise and stayed still, head tossed back. "I'm... I'm-!"

 

"Gonna come, baby? I bet you are," I mumbled against his skin, placing fluttering kisses on his hole. "Q-quit eatin' me out then!," he panted harshly, turning his head to me. I stared up at him coolly. "You ordering me, brat?," I drawled. Eren shook his head. "NO! I just don't want to come yet!," he pleaded. I bit on a fleshy globe, earning a yelp from him. "And you won't. Trust me, Eren," I said convincingly. He hung his head low, trying to regulate his breathing. I admired the slope of his broad shoulders from my angle then trailed kisses on the small of his back. "There you go... easy... you're doing so well," I cooed at him, wrapping a hand along his shaft and pumped ever-so slowly. It was thick and heavy; the heat radiating off of Eren spurred my arousal even further. He mewled, rocking his hips in a broken rhythm, but he tried. "Turn over on your back, precious," I told him, fingers rolling the leaking tip.

 

Eren nodded and did as I said. I paused, staring at him. His face was a beacon of scarlet and tawny gold. I don't think I've ever seen his eyes the color of a rich shade of sea-green that it took the air out of my lungs. They scanned my face hesitantly, eyelashes of inky black fluttering like a butterfly wing. "Levi?," he called out to me in a tiny voice. I hovered over him in an instant. My hands cupped his face as my thumbs traced circles into his heated, downy cheeks. "Have I told you how wonderfully perfect you are?," I asked him, kissing his forehead. A giggle. "Nope. But you are too, Levi. You're all mine," he sighed deeply, closing those brilliant orbs and stretching his body towards me. My body resonated with him as our cocks brushed against one another. "Please, please, please! I can't keep on begging. I wanna feel you- inside and out. I just want to be whole again," he whined, scratching his nails down my held up arms. I hissed at the action. My heart was racing wildly. "You will be. Spread your legs for me." I leaned towards my nightstand and withdrew a small tube of lubrication and a gold condom wrapper. My hands were shaking slightly as I uncapped it and squirted the clear, cold gel on my fingers. Eren watched me with rapid glances, his brow furrowing slightly. "... you know what's about to happen, right?"

 

"Y-yeah. I do."

"Don't look so tense. It'll be fine. Trust me."

"I do! It's just... well... you don't mind doing it? Mr. Nuts-About-Cleaning-Supplies?"

 

I gave Eren a dead-panned expression. "If you're trying to kill my hard on, it's working. Plus, I just ate your ass out, you idiot." He grinned nervously and scooted back some, reaching down and grasping his thick thighs while hoisting up his hips. "How about now?," he asked hoarsely, revealing his entrance to me. I gasped at his brash behavior. Really. I never pegged him to do something like this. "Yeah. Shit. It's working," I struggled to get out. Making sure my first three fingers were slicked, I bent my head down to bite on the inside of his thigh harshly, earning a sharp wail above me. I slid in one finger and groaned loudly at how tight and hot Eren felt on the inside. I could not WAIT to plunge in there...

 

A suckle on his perineum and another agonizing wail of pleasure meant another finger inside as I distracted him. Eren seemed to be caterwauling, trying to push against my fingers but sucking them in at the same time as he tried to hold himself up. "Nnnnnnn- ah! Ha... ha! L-Levi! What are you- oooohhhh, God!," he sobbed as I pulled my fingers apart to scissor inside and then captured his weeping cock with my mouth all in one motion. I lapped at it like a cat, shuddering at the slight musky smell and taste. It was all too achingly familiar. It was a taste that I was hurriedly getting addicted to. I swirled my tongue around the hot fleshy pole in time with my fingers until I hit something that made his legs drop back and away, his head thrown back. "FUCK!" I grinned around his cock and slurped noisily. Nailed it. I drove my three fingers against his spot repeatedly, causing his body to spasm and rock. Every noise that fell from his open, wet mouth surged my arousal and love for him to the sky. I watched him intently at every emotion that came across his sweet face. _I_   was the one making this happen.  _I_ was the one that was making Eren fall apart. With a final growl and a harsh suck on his tip, Eren gasped loudly when I withdrew my fingers fast. His hole was twitching at the loss, now a glowing red. His entire frame was trembling.

 

"I think you're good," I breathed through my nose, grasping the condom in my teeth and yanked it open. Eren stared up at me with those large ever-seeing eyes and moved when I rolled it over my dick, swallowing thickly. "How-how is it gonna fit in me?," came the artless question that sent me moaned to the ceiling and grasping the teenager by his hips. I leaned down to his ear and bit the lobe none-too-gently. "Like this," I purred, lining up with his hole and pushed in all the way. Golden arms and legs wrapped around me in an instant along with a mighty wail of pain and a rumble of intense pleasure from me. "Just like the first time before," I panted against his temple. Eren continued to sob. Nails sharp like a cat's ran down my back. I could feel the skin prickle in protest. We laid there for a moment, adjusting to one being inside and the other accepting it. I kept murmuring Eren's name over and over, soothing his face with kisses. I licked away the tears that had fallen from his heated skin. He weakly called to me, offering his neck and with the strength of a kitten, pushed his hips towards me. "Move, Levi," came the request.

Soft.  
Yielding.  
Burning.

 

I placed my hands beside his head and hoisted my torso up, sitting up on my knees. "Keep your legs around my waist, love," I murmured to him, brushing back his sweaty bangs. He nodded and tightened his hold. I smiled serenely at the boy then took hold of his now slowly bruising hips. "It's gonna burn a lot, but then-"

 

"It'll be fine... yeah. I trust you," came that delectable repeat from the ripest mouth and angelic face. I nodded, my heart fluttering. "Thank you," I whispered and starting rocking in small movements, feeling the inside of Eren cling to my dick. I grunted in delight and circled my hips, feeling Eren's tense restriction ease up a bit. He gave a great sigh and allowed himself to relax. "There you go, Eren... good boy. Such a good boy," I hummed to him, pulling out a little and pushing back in slowly. I could see the goosebumps scatter along his sweat-covered body. His hands went backwards to grasp the bed frame, showing off his beautiful body to me. His hooded eyes never left my face. "Go faster," he commanded. And I gladly followed. I began slow then began to pound away like my life depended on it. Too long had I waited for him and he for I. We knew what we craved and longed for. His breathy whines and whimpers spurred me on as his ass met my sac on each thrust. Wet, smacking sounds filled the room and soon, the smell of sex, sweat and something sweeter. I didn't want to stop. Not for anything in the world- my God, Eren was perfect.

 

My hips kept their dance as I leaned down and swept up his mouth to mine, kissing him like something nasty with my tongue, swirling and pulling. Eren mewled on the onslaught and was beginning to meet me fully with his own pelvis. He was working my own dick as if it were nothing. I parted from him, biting down hard on the brat's bottom lip. "God, Eren... you feel so good. Tight and hot. Made just for me. Jesus fucking Christ, I love you," I moaned around that plump piece of flesh. Eren mirrored back his own sound, his hands swooping down and groping my ass, pulling me further into him. "I-I love you-you too! AH! There! Right THERE!!! Oooohhh... dammit!," he howled as I hit his prostrate once more. I grinned darkly and kept shoving my dick against his sweet spot. Over and over like a wave hits the beach. Eren was wailing like a madman but it was music to my ears. I sunk my teeth into the meat of his neck and grasped his leaking erection with a free hand, stroking harshly. I could feel the precum sliding over my fingers. Eren choked back a groan and dropped his hands from the bed frame, clutching them inside in my hair, pulling. I gave a throaty laugh and sucked hard on his skin. Marking.

 

"You gonna cum for me, Eren? Make me feel it all over my hand? I want to feel your dick pulse, twitch and I want you to fall apart. Come on, sweetling... I know you want to," I murmured against his neck. The hands that had been pulling on my hair dropped to my shoulders and then next thing I knew, my world had flipped over. I was the one now laying back and be gorgeous golden boy now sat astride me, plowing his ass down my cock so fast, I thought my hips were going to get whiplash from trying to meet him thrust after thrust. The noises we were making were almost cringe-worthy, but in this case scenario, we did not care. Eren kept moaning and whimpering to himself like a fucking pornstar, his nails digging into my pectorals and ass slapping against my thighs. I held onto him for dear life, chanting his name breathlessly. He fit so well; like a velvet glove. I raised my hips up, lifting my back and balancing on the balls of my feet to hit him with a better angle. His gasping "oh, oh, ohs!" had my hips slamming into him in a frantic pace that shook us both to the core. "Eren, Eren, you are so fucking good. That tight little ass of yours is eating my cock up," I growled at him, pressing my fingers harder into his skin. He keens loudly, tossing his brown head from side to side. His abandoned dick slaps against his stomach in tandem and soon, the coil in my belly seeps further up.

 

So, in a primal urge, I grasped his buttocks and started smacking them. With a fierce bellow and a jerk backwards, shots of white ribbons splattered on his muscled stomach and chest. He claimed down on me like a vice, pulsating like a rabbit's heartbeat. The heat is wonderful, delicious, and sucks me in. I grasped the back of his neck and pulled the boy to me, kissing his abused mouth once more. He faintly hums a broken sound, spine twitching from his orgasm. With a wordless cry in his moist mouth, I came immediately after. Everything that had been strung taunt and tight from stress and not being near Eren for such a long time came. My heart seemed to have gone so fast, everything was slow and clear. I felt my lips part and take in his own air from his lungs.

 

I felt parched.  
Like a dying man, reborn.  
So, I cried.

 

We flopped back down on the mattress, struggling to get our lungs working properly. Hands found their way across the soaked sheets and entwined together. Tears streamed freely down my face. Eren stared unto my face, the rosy hues now muted but his eyes glowed with a certain wanness. He smiled softly at me and scooted further, gathering my other hand into his. Silently, I watched him kiss along my knuckles, to the tips of my fingers, then eloquently peppered kisses into my palms and the inside of my wrists. He brushed his lips against the tender skin and started speaking, low and cloying.

 

 _"Through the faint and tender airs of twilight star on star may gaze,_  
_But the eyes of light are blinded in the white flame of the days,_  
_From the heat that melts together oft a rarer essence slips,_  
_And our hearts may still be parted in the meeting of the lips."_

Gemstone eyes of the brightest aquamarine glittered across the way to me. We were now calm, cooling down, and in awe with one another. "I didn't know you knew poetry," I droned gently, blinking slowly. He grinned and pressed closer, snuggling into my chest after carefully wiping the tears from my face. I wound my arms over his shoulders and sighed tiredly. "You surprise me, you know that?," I told him.

 

"Then I'll keep you on your toes then for awhile." I chuckled tiredly. We settled against one another, inhaling and exhaling evenly, deeply. Sleep was crawling upon us. "Oh, wait! We made a mess... I know how you hate them-"

"Kid. At this point, I don't fucking care."

 

Sleep always beats out cleanliness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey, pretty babies.  
> There's your smut chapter- I hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> I'm thinking the next one will roll around after the 17th because I'm in a wedding. Friggin' bridesmaid. Ye.
> 
> Leave some kudos and comments and I'll give you love.  
> And cookies.


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